ForeverMissed

This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Monique Meyer.

Monique was born on July 21, 1968 in Shreveport, Louisiana.

She attended St. Joseph School in Jeanerette, Louisiana and earned a Bachelor's Degree from the University of Southwestern Louisiana in Lafayette.  She earned a Associate degree in nursing from Galen College School of Nursing in 2014, finishing at the top of her class.  Students who attended nursing school with Monique tell of her tireless work in her studies and the help she was always willing to give to her fellow students. One of her classmates said of Monique, "That girl got me through school". 

In her first job after graduating, working in Hospice care, she found her true calling in life.  She was a generous and nurturing person with a wonderful sense of humor, a perfect combination for someone caring for people who are near the end of life.  She was loved by her patients and highly respected and valued by her co-workers and employers. It was her goal to become a certified Hospice Nurse, and eventually become a director of nursing in that area of practice.

She spent most of her life giving unselfishly to those who knew her, and always lightened the mood with her humorous view of people and life. To those who knew her, Monique was a daughter, sister, student, teacher, friend, caregiver, wife and mother. She was a true and loyal friend and touched the lives of most who knew her.

But, Monique would quickly say, if asked, that her greatest treasure was her son, Bobby. She was a dedicated mother who gave her son a good sense of humor, a solid work ethic through example, and the capacity to love and care for others.

By all who had the privilege of knowing her, she will be sorely missed.

Monique is survived by her husband Andrew Meyer; her son, Bobby Palmer, Jr.; her stepchildren, Nicholas Meyer and Dianna Meyer; her parents, Raymond E. Allain, Sr., and Rebecca Motty Allain; a brother, Raymond E. Allain, Jr. and wife Ashley, of Naples, Florida; sisters, Virginia Traylor and huband Rob, of Lompoc, California; and Jennifer Bakale and husband Robert, of Meyersville, Maryland. She is also survived by three nieces Lauren Allain, Madeline delaConcha, and Emily Allain; and two nephews Colin and Liam Bakale, all of whom knew her affectionately as "Monkey"; and 16 Aunts and Uncles and 30 first cousins.

In a last final act of selflessness, Monique chose to be a registered organ donor giving the gift of life to others. There will be a memorial service held in Monique's honor on Sunday, May 15, 2016 at 1:30pm, at the VFW in Helotes, San Antonio, Texas.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests memorial contributions be made in Monique's name, to the charity of your choice.

Posted by Elina Long on July 22, 2020
Belated Happy Birthday, thought about you yesterday and today! You are always popping up! Keep watching over us, miss you! ❤️
Posted by Tana Allain on May 12, 2020
Monique, I have known you since you were just a young girl coming over to spend the night, helping me with Kristi...dressing her up and staging her for pictures. With each passing year I got to know you better and better and have loved you more and more. I have had such great memories with you hanging out and when we couldn't see each other talking on the phone for hours and cutting up. I miss your sweet face and soul and kind heart, and especially how much fun you were to be around.I will never forget you as you were such a big part of my life....I will always love you and I will always miss you forever! Love, Aunt Tana
Posted by Kate Camin on July 21, 2019
Monique .
Star in the night
Wishes to you
To continue sending your moments
In our thoughts of you
Happy Birthday
Love,
Kate
Posted by Elina Long on May 15, 2019
Monique, I still miss you, but have so many fond and hilarious memories!❤❤❤
Posted by Virginia Allain on June 9, 2016
I miss you.
Posted by Jenn Bakale on June 9, 2016
I have looked for you everyday that has passed. Some, I find you in a picture or memory, some I find you in a gift or item that you've left me with, but there hasn't been one day where I've looked and haven't found you. You are a constant in my life and will remain that way. I love you monkey and miss you more than I thought possible.
Posted by Glen Hamner on May 26, 2016
Windows reflect and transmit light. Even sounds pass around their edges and across its face. The light and sounds of your presence grace all to whom your smile found a home. Return soon and often to as many of those whose essence requires a sprinkling of your presence to lighten their objectivity.  Many are the flowers that respond to the sound of your voice in the wind. Take special care Monique to remember and return often to those who knew you best and loved you most.
Posted by Cynthia Suit on May 25, 2016
Rebecca and Ray, I just heard about the loss of your daughter, Monique. I can truly say that I feel your pain, being a mother that has lost a child. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Rest in peace, Monique.
Posted by Kathle Derouen on May 24, 2016
Ray and Rebecca,
   Cherish the memories of a daughter whose life was well lived. 
Kathy and Bob
Posted by Virginia Allain on May 23, 2016
What can I say about Monique that you don’t already know? She never had a hard time expressing her feelings and she rarely held back unless her words were damaging to someone undeserving. She was loving, kind, compassionate, forgiving, faithful and honest. She was strong when she needed to be and soft when you needed her to be. She was like a chameleon and would change to be whatever you needed in the moment.

You can’t think of Monique without acknowledging her sense of humor. She had the ability to turn the worst situation into something funny, making you forget why you were sad in the first place. 
She was by my side when I got married and had Madeline. She always provided comic relief and just last week I shared with her that I was feeling blue and she called me right away. She always wanted me to know she was only a phone call away. She balanced me. She showed me to live without regret and do the things that make me happy. She taught me how to relax, take it easy, and not take life too seriously. She taught me to pick my battles, but also to win the ones I picked.

She couldn’t keep a secret but in many ways it was a good thing, because it kept us honest and accountable to the things we did and said. Her laugh was infectious and when she started it was hard to stop. I can remember so many occasions that we laughed ourselves into a frenzy.

Despite all of her good qualities and things she has accomplished in life, I do believe if I could ask her what she considered her greatest joy – she would have, without a doubt, said it was Bobby. Bobby, you may not know this, but your birth saved your Mom in so many ways. You gave her purpose during a challenging time in her life. Your presence kept her going, kept her moving forward. She loved you more than life itself and would have given you anything she had.

Andrew, her husband and friend. She loved you and loved you HARD. You were kind and a soft place for her to fall. I think I can speak for my entire family when I say thank you for being you and giving her what she needed. She often said you were the most patient man she knew and she adored that about you. 

Mom and Dad, Monique had a bond with both of you that I’m sure none of us can understand and I can’t imagine how much pain and sorrow you must feel after this loss, but know that she deeply loved both of you, and she held nothing against you.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with some advice Monique gave me once, which I’ve carried and used many times in my life and believe is most applicable today. To all who knew and loved my sister, in her words…

“Feel the pain, accept what it is, and… let it go”.
Posted by Tana Allain on May 23, 2016
To you my precious niece, my heart. You have always been so special to me and Uncle Steve. You have accomplished so much in your time here on earth and did it with your sweet, loving, giving spirit. You will forever have a place in my heart and are already terribly missed. I love you my precious one. Aunt Tana
Posted by Teresa Showacre on May 22, 2016
Ray and Rebecca we are sending prayers! We just found out! Words can't take away the pain! But know we love you!
Posted by Bridget Buck on May 19, 2016
My friend, my partner in every mischievous thing that 2 girls in their 20's could ever possibly get into ....my "sista sledge"....we promised to be friends "fa life"~but that wasn't long enough. The memories we made will always be some of my best. You were beautiful in every way and words cannot describe how greatly I miss you.
Posted by Kate Camin on May 16, 2016
Monique,I never want to say goodbye. Knowing you was a gift that required constant unwrapping due to all of the many layers of Moniqueness there was. Words to Rebecca, Ray, Andrew, Bobby, Ray Jr (et al), Virginia (et al), and Jennifer (et al) cannot express what I feel or what you are feeling. Knowing that you are still here with your unselfishness of sharing is a bit comforting. To my family I am here if you need me, sorry I could not be there at the service but my heart and thoughts are with you all.
Posted by Craig Romero on May 15, 2016
Mrs. Rebecca and Ray our prayers are with you. Words can not describe what you are going through with your loss. Please know that your family are in our prayers. Life is not supposed to happen this way but it does. My mother passed when she was 42 years old and I was 18. God takes the very best of us first but it it is so very difficult to understand when he does this. Please accept our condolences and know that you are in our prayers. Craig & Pamela
Posted by Jenn Bakale on May 15, 2016
My sister, my friend, my heart... Who am I going to bring Taco Bell to?
Posted by Ray Allain on May 15, 2016
Ray, There is nothing to say. I did not know Monique's person. Jane says she was wonderful, a joy to visit with Rebeca. You commented on your wonderful children. A nurse who is successful in Hospice is a great gift in life. I learned more about living, managing a home health and hospice than any other time of my life. Our tears are with you and sincerely know that you and Rebeca are full of loss and remembering the beauty of Monique. Love and respect, Marty
Martin Allain
Posted by Ray Allain on May 15, 2016
Ray,

Knowing that it is impossible for me to feel the pain of your loss, I can only try to put myself in your shoes.

I am so sorry that a man has to experience the loss of a child.

If you need, we are here for you.

Randy Moity
Posted by Ray Allain on May 15, 2016
Brenda and I are heartbroken for you and Rebecca and your family. Send her off with courage. That said, I do understand the huge hole God just created in your heart. I just looked at the photo album. God does seem to take the finest among us too early. Really, really sorry to hear that news Ray.


Regards,
Wayne M. LaBiche, M.S., P.E., M.ASCE, M.NSPE
Posted by Ray Allain on May 15, 2016
Ray,
I was so saddened upon hearing the news of your loss. There are no words that I can offer to help you and your family's pain but I will pray for your daughter, you and your family. Please let me know if I can help in any way.

Your friend,
Mike Comb
Posted by Kathie Terpening on May 15, 2016
Our hearts are breaking for you. Know she will always be your special first born. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
Posted by Anne Leonard on May 15, 2016
Rebecca and Ray,
  No words but surrounding you with love and support since Elina called. Today I have mentally joined you at Monique's memorial service. I carry you, Bobby, Andrew, Raymond, Virginia, and Jenn in my heart in these next days and in the days ahead. Monique's light shines brightly through the loving words on this page. Thank you for sharing her with us.
Posted by Norm Meyer on May 15, 2016
Andy& Monique came to visit. She said I needed a couch. I had gotten rid of the one I had, to make room for my wife's hospital bed, however she died too soon. Monique made me agree to a new couch. Now I miss my sister. You have to know what a beautiful and caring person she was and what a delightful girl she was. I can't see her gone,but I can see her just coming around the corner, smiling...
Posted by Mary Beth Aquila on May 15, 2016
So sorry to hear about Monique and we the siblings never forgot that we went to see u all in NC when she was baby girl she was so darling and now we all are praying for u all for your loss one so young lady, Monique.. Your cousin Mary Beth Aquila much love to u all.
Posted by Lynn Green on May 15, 2016
Monique, truly sorry you have left us so soon. You were a giving person with a big heart. I know you spent many hours studying and then on to taking care of those in need. When I think of you I think of Andrew and Bri. Where I would see one, the other was close by. I remember you coming to Roxy's to hang out and still be in your nursing attire. ;) it takes a very special person to do what you did. You made so many people happy in the last of their days. That is something not many can do and you did so freely without any reservation. You have left so many behind to include your son who you treasured dearly. We will all miss you and remember you for the many ways you touched our lives....friend, wife, mother, sister, and child. No parent wants to say good bye to a child. I think that is one of the hardest things to do. We expect to go before our children do. Just know that we all have memories that will last us throughout our lifetime and we thank you for them. God Bless you and keep you safe up above. Lynn
Posted by Jennifer Davis on May 15, 2016
Mr. Ray, Mrs. Rebecca, Raymond, Virginia and Jennifer,

I am so very sorry to hear about Monique. Your family has been and will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

Jennifer (Migues) Davis and Linda Migues
Posted by Elina Long on May 14, 2016
Monique, I will never forget your wonderful sense of humor and that teasing and so frank comments! You were my very special godchild! I know you are watching and listening and telling us to get with the program and remember you with laughter and love! Will miss you terribly! RIP.
Posted by Lisa Spadavecchia on May 14, 2016
Rest in peace dear Monique. Andrew's Navy brothers and sisters promise to take care of him and the rest of your family from this side while you watch over them from the other side.
Posted by Katherine Long on May 14, 2016
Truly heartbroken Monique. So many funny memories, from pool parties long ago to you & mom my getting to the airport only to realize she had the wrong day. You were hysterical and you and Andrew were the absolute best this past year. I will never understand this. Miss my juicing partner & love you always. Bobby, Andrew, Aunt Rebecca, Uncle Ray, Virginia, Raymond, and Jenn lots of love to all of you right now.
Posted by Christi Richardson on May 14, 2016
I was so heartbroken to hear the news! I was actually going through some emails of nursing school notes you had passed on to me because I am starting school again. So many memories I have from nursing school with you and Mary to cherish! May you rest in peace! We love you. Galen College of Nursing LVN Class of 2011 :)
Posted by Anne Marquette Sinitiere on May 14, 2016
RIP my dear sweet friend.
Posted by Carissa Harrison on May 14, 2016
Monique...I can't even begin to describe how incredibly heartbreaking this is!!! So young! So beautiful! So full of life and taken way too soon! I will forever remember your laugh, smile, and bubbly personality!!! What an amazing reunion you and Mere' are sharing at this very moment walking the streets of gold! Gone, but not forgotten. I pray for strength and comfort for Uncle Ray, Aunt Rebecca, Jenn, Virginia, Raymond, Andrew, and her pride and joy Bobby! May the Lord guide you all through this and and hold you all ever so tight! I love you all tons!
Posted by Raymond Allain Jr on May 14, 2016
May her energy thrive in the hearts and souls in all those she has touched. Although it's been a long time since I've seen Monique, her memory is strong, a part of my soul. As Ray's big sister, she helped us get started, and our heads focused at USL. It was a great start.

Mr Ray and Mrs Rebecca, thanks for the help and support you have given me. Our family mourns for your loss. And Ray, my friend, hope to see you soon.

With deep sorrow and tears,
Michael Avery LaSalle
Posted by Rachel Gary Thibodeaux on May 14, 2016
EVER CLOSE, IN MIND AND HEART
No further away than a picture, a smile or remembered phrase,
our loved ones live in memory - so close in so many ways.
For how often does a sunset bring nostalgic thoughts to mind,
of moments that our loved ones shared in days now left behind!
How often has a flower or a crystal autumn sky brought golden recollections of happy days gone by!
Memory has a magic way of keeping loved ones near - ever close in mind and heart are the ones we hold most dear.

You are HOME now my dear friend, no more pain and no more sorrow..
I can hear your laughter already and I know I'll hear it tomorrow! Rest in Peace My friend Monique. There will never be another quite like you .... I will forever love and cherish you my precious friend Monique!❤️
Posted by Darcie Brouse on May 14, 2016
Monique, my heart is filled with sadness and a void that can not be filled. You were the first person I met here with the same sense of humor. I could always be myself 100% with you and knew if I was gross or obscene you would never judge me and laugh with me. I will miss you more than you know. I still have our fatbooth as your profile when you call. I wish I could go sit in your garage right now and have a smoke and Diet Coke with you. You were such an inspiration and light in my life and I will always cherish the time I got to be your friend. Thank you for the awesome memories, inspiration and friendship you shared with me. I miss you!! Rest in peace my dear friend.

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Elina Long on July 22, 2020
Belated Happy Birthday, thought about you yesterday and today! You are always popping up! Keep watching over us, miss you! ❤️
Posted by Tana Allain on May 12, 2020
Monique, I have known you since you were just a young girl coming over to spend the night, helping me with Kristi...dressing her up and staging her for pictures. With each passing year I got to know you better and better and have loved you more and more. I have had such great memories with you hanging out and when we couldn't see each other talking on the phone for hours and cutting up. I miss your sweet face and soul and kind heart, and especially how much fun you were to be around.I will never forget you as you were such a big part of my life....I will always love you and I will always miss you forever! Love, Aunt Tana
Posted by Kate Camin on July 21, 2019
Monique .
Star in the night
Wishes to you
To continue sending your moments
In our thoughts of you
Happy Birthday
Love,
Kate
Recent stories

My Big Sister

Shared by Raymond Allain Jr on May 23, 2016

At the risk of revealing too much, the writing helps me so I will indulge.

We all as children generally choose one of two paths, to emulate our parents or to be different.

While the reason for the former is almost universal, the reason for the latter is many. I chose the latter for reasons I cannot really even explain anymore.

My sister chose the former and our roads forked at that point.

We traveled our own paths, and while we were never estranged, the closeness and intimacy we shared as little children and adolescents seemed to wane.

At first we didn't confide, then we became stubbornly entrenched, and finally just apart.

We frustrated each other over the years with our decisions and choices, pretending to understand the others when we didn't even understand our own.

Silently and unintentionally we ascribed motives, made judgements, and resisted the bond. I will now never know, or understand her reasons, and am left to ruminate over mine.

At the moment these seem selfish and shallow, and I long for the opportunity to claw back the years and forge different memories. This however, is as futile as it is tragic.

As the replay reel rolls continuously in my head, all I can see at the moment are the missed opportunities and it cuts to the bone.

A month ago she reached out to me, and expressed her desire to bring our paths closer, and she confessed that she was guilty of apathy and neglect in our relationship, and felt that I had judged her and thought poorly of her for her choices.

And in that exchange, I realized the depth and breadth of the divide caused by silence.

I told her that this was not the case, and that what my real challenge had been was not understanding who she was. A simple question with no simple answer.

She seemed relieved, and anxious for us to get to the business of rebuilding, and driving our paths onto a common route and so was I.

We spoke again after that, and things seemed to be different...

Two weeks later was Mother's Day and I sent her a txt wishing her a happy one, to which she didn't respond.

I didn't think much of it, she wasn't my mother, and I waited. Then, Thursday afternoon on the way home, I thought of her. I wondered what she was doing and why she didn't respond and I thought to call her.

Then I did what I have done for 30 years, I said I would do it tomorrow, and seven hours later she died.

I realize that even if I had called her, the laments may vary in tenor, but they would still be present, however, this particular one is hard..

It was at the core of why we diverged in the first place, as well as our last opportunity, and it was squandered.

This isn't a story of woe is me, or my personal tragedy, it is a lesson I will share with anyone I care about, if for no other reason but to spare them the burden of the sorrow I feel right now.

My father in law, whom I was very close to, told me something a long time ago that resonated, even though I couldn't understand it until much later.

He said, "Ray, life is all about relationships."

What he meant was that your time and energy should go towards the people you value, and it should be sincere and genuine.

If they value you, a relationship worth having you will have. If they don't reciprocate, you have lost nothing, and they have lost you.

I try to use that lesson as a core value in my life today, yet I didn't apply in where it was most deserving. I always thought there would be another, better, or more perfect time.

She didn't need perfect, she only needed me.

Today is the opportunity we all have, and those moments are precious, not only to the loved ones we touch, but for the nourishment of our own soul.

I will not make the mistake again.

I'm sorry if I went too far, but my heart is heavy and I didn't want to waste another opportunity.  

Mexico 2004

Shared by Andrew Meyer on May 22, 2016

June 2004 –

Your favorite “Mexican” food was, for the longest time, flautas (Until you discovered Migas!). Seasoned meat wrapped in a flour tortilla and deep fried. But even upon my insistence that I had never seen anything like that in all my years growing up IN Mexico, you, on our honeymoon in the middle of Mexico, wanted  flautas. I tried to entice you into the, literal, hole-in-the-wall restaurant we had passed many blocks ago with the simmering clay pots of a variety of delicious options. As a new groom who had made his new bride travel 12 hours on a bus into the heart of Mexico for their honeymoon (I really did feel bad when the federales stole your jewelry at a checkpoint!), and had now become intimately aware of the word “hangry,” who was I to argue? Like all beautiful cities, San Miguel de Allende had its seedier side, and, lo and behold, that’s where YOU found a place that sold flautas!

We didn’t go in there. Whether I made you nervous about it or it just looked that seedy, you said, “Uh. No.” But if my lover wanted flautas in the middle of Mexico then I was going to get them.

I didn’t always give you everything you wanted but you often told me I gave you enough. I hope I did. I really do.

I miss you.

3 1/2 hours

Shared by Andrew Meyer on May 22, 2016

After nearly 4 months apart, we had 3 ½ hours together.
They were Good hours.
We talked about:
   How we missed and loved each other
   Work
   Friends
   Her art work projects
   Family
   Food we liked
   Me moving back to SA
   What was most bothering us
   We complimented each other
   Being depressed
   Being happy
   Our love for each other
   Who annoyed us
   People we missed
   Our children
   Our health
   Even talked about cremation services
   Said I love you and I miss you
   I told her she was beautiful and that I was proud of her
We also
   Held hands
   Hugged
   Kissed
   Laughed
   We made out in an elevator
   We made love
   We visited places
   Held hands
   Kissed in her car
   Were stupid together
   Went out to eat
   Said I love you
   We went shopping together
   Loved on each other
   Laughed
   Got scared
   Loved each other
She was 47
That was just 3 ½ hours of being with Monique.