Memories of Valentines seem to flood my mind with very happy thoughts from our first, in SF, to our last when we went to dinner in Los Gatos (Aldo's). Remember our driver... he was a blast. He told you to throw away your wheelchair and go out dancing. He wanted to go with you...no mention of what to do with me! You sure laughed.
SF... we were late getting back to the boat from Sousalito to SF and we thought we would have to spend the night (Oh darn) there. We made the boat back and ended the night talking and laughing with the couple from Virginia. We (me) were older than they were and they thought that we were younger.
You are and always will be my special Valentine!!!
Last night I had a dream.
In this dream you and I danced among the stars.
Our dance floor was the milky way.
The music that was playing was the most beautiful
music you would ever hear.
Even the angels stopped what they were doing.
To watch and listen as we held each other close.
They were awestruck by the love that eminated
from our hearts.
That moment we shared among the stars
is timeless.
Time has no effect on it.
But is still being played over and over again
'T' left this memory on 25.03.10:
On the day we were born our stars touched.
I wonder where they are now?
Though our hearts, souls and minds may never touch.
Still, somehow I see you.
But it's like watching you from another star.
It's said that a soul starts out as one.
But then it's split into two by God.
Then the two are placed on this earth to find each other.
I wonder if you can hear the screams of my soul.
As the hopes of reuniting fade to black in the stillness of night.
A thousand thoughts of you float through my mind on the
wings of heavenly hosts.
Yes, we were written in the stars.
All that separated us was time.
The time it took to read the map which was placed in our hearts.
So we could find our way back to one another.
In closing I will say this:
The first time I saw you.
Deep in my soul...I knew.
I will always have you in my heart!
'T' left this memory on 30.12.09:
I found this one for"us".
With love always
God's Garden
God looked around His garden
And He found an empty place
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your precious face
He put His arms around you
And lifted you to rest;
God' s Garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering
He knew you were in pain
He knew you' d never ever
Get well on earth again.
So He closed your weary eyelids
And whispered " Peace be thine "
Then He took you up to Heaven
With Hands so gentle and kind.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God welcomed you home.
'T' left this memory on 25.12.09:
Another Christmas Eve with NJB in my heart and memories galore.I had our shrimp and dip and pictured her celebrating with us as at past Eve parties.Love continues to bloom!
'T' left this memory on 26.11.09:
Thanksgiving was always special.I remember the year that we (you) decided that we would have a Mexican dinner for the holiday. Enchillada's that would blow a safe open.Tortilla soup that would blister a sidewalk. The rice thing that you made was pretty good with the peppers and onions.
The kids wouldn't eat it so you went out and got them frozen turkey dinners. The more memories the more I love you.
Three years and you are with me as much as ever!
'T' left this memory on 25.05.09:
NJB has really been on my mind alot these past few days.Birthdays sure aren't the same without her special surprises, even when she was so sick. She would somehow come up with something that would get me. I'll never forget the one at the Los Gatos nursing home when you had hired a singing telegram for me and she performed a semi strip. She was pretty good but not as good as NJB.
Memorial Day is nothing new to me because everyday I will think of something special that we did together or with others. Probably the best time was when we went to the Mission in Santa Maria and the ox knocked me for a loop. I still see you laughing and almost crying as I laid there on my back. I still think that it was one of her reincarted ancestors. My back was sore for a week but the 'Nurse' that would give me massages was certainly special.
Always my TRUE love and always will be in my heart.
'T' left this memory on 06.04.09:
FOUR/FIVE/SIX!
Norma Jean, I can hear you laughing at me for not remembering our anniversary today.How many times did we laugh at how you picked that date so I COULDN'T forget it.I had "not thought of it" until Bridget called me. More stp's for her. Geez, 23 years and it is all so clear to me. We had such a good time and I'm sure that I made you,at least, smile out loud today.
I loved you then and love you even more today.
Love means that you never have to you're sorry!!! (ha,ha, ha! Just thought that I would smile out loud with you.)
'T' left this memory on 17.03.09:
Another St. Patrick's Day that conjures up more super memories of our time together.
The time that we went to the Hawaiian restaurant and asked the ukelele band to play Irish songs for us and they did.
The time we spent 2 days in S.F.for the holiday and went to every Irish bar that we could find.
The time that you came home dressed as an Irish coleen.We didn't go out that night.
While you are 'tooling' around in heaven check out where St. Pat is and when I join you the three of us can get together.
Norma and Erin go bragh!!
'T' left this memory on 25.02.09:
Boy! What a week for memories. The three times that NJB went through stress tests were sure with me. I had the same injections that she had but I also had to do the treadmill part. I don't mean that she was luckier than me,not by any means,and I could sense her with me as I flashed back to her and how tired she was after. I got home and slept for almost 4 hours.She would rest for a couple of hours and then she would want to go out for dinner. What a trooper she was. Never complaining and always trying to stay upbeat,I hope that I can have that resolve and fortitude when the time comes. i'm pretty sure that I will because of her and her always being with me and encouraging me.My love for her continues to grow.
'T' left this memory on 27.12.08:
Well, I got through my 3rd Christmas without NJB in person. Wednesday night I shared soooo many memories. Altho it has become easier for me, it is forever etched in my heart, the happy times that we spent together and with others. This year I again spent,I hope for the last time, Christmas Eve alone. My thoughts were only of NJB (and the shrimp that we used to share). Christmas Day began with Justin and Jan from upstairs(and 2 of their friends) asking if I would read to them from the Bible. It was,at first, nervous time, but after a few minutes I kind of settled in and just talked and answered questions as I believe them.
The rest of Christmas day was spent with Sheila and family and(for me)was great. Just watching and listening to them enjoy the day the way we used to was super. I could sense NJB with us all day. When Carlee would LET me hold her new puppy(LUCY or Lucie-not sure yet)I could sense NJB holding her because of her love for dogs.
My heart will always belong to Norma but I will go on with my life as God wills it. I know that she whispers in His ear because I sometimes get thoughts about things that only she would know.
The wonders of His Majesty!!!
'T' left this memory on 18.12.08:
I hung NJB's stocking today and it brought back a lot of great memories. I remember the Christmas that I got her 3 bookcases for her many genealogy books and it was the same Christmas that Bridget and her sisters got her a bookcase. She was so excited when the girls gave her theirs on Christmas Eve. Then,on Christmas day when she got mine she went banana's. I had put them together and had kept them covered in the garage,where she seldom ventured, and when I brought them out to her,she was like a LITTLE GIRL AT CHRISTMAS!!
We spent about two hours setting them in our bedroom,just so, where she could reach them without getting out of bed.
What a super partner!
T left this memory on 13.12.08:
Less than two weeks to go until what would have been OUR favorite night of the year.It will be a little easier this year than the last couple but NJB will always be in my heart and on my mind as I try to celebrate Christmas. 12/24 will still be the most difficult as I remember all of the GREAT times she and I had together and with all the kids. Little and big. Her smile never seemed to leave her face as she played and joked and laughed with all. She really didn't have ONE favorite and treated everyone as her own.She would start preparing three nights before and would always,and I mean always, say that she was forgetting something.She never did and usually had too much.We had snacks for a week and almost still had some left for New Years Eve. She would make steamed clams for me and of course we ALWAYS had shrimp. One year she had found a new chili recipe and it was very good that night but the next couple of days were torture.Geez, how we would laugh about that and whenever she would find another new recipe I would let her try it and I would wait for the next day or two to see how she was reacting. Laughing all the time.
She was such a great partner.
'T' left this memory on 30.11.08:
My Thanksgiving memories with NJB are many.The last one I choose to not talk about. The one two years before(2004)we spent at her mom's,thanks to Bridget,who VOLUNTEERED to make it happen. We spent a very nice afternoon with Dorthey,her friends Dick and Barbara, Bridge and me.It was the longest NJB had been out of the nursing home,at that point in time, and I was kind of nervous but all went well. The next year NJB, her mom and I went out for dinner and it was kinda funny that it had been so long since NJB had a steak so she ordered a prime rib dinner and ate just about all of it. Dorthey had Turkey but I had the same as NJB. Later that night at after I got her ready for bed,we had a good laugh about 'OUR' Thanksgiving dinner.
Like the old song says "Little Things Mean a lot".
Bridget left this memory on 27.11.08:
I am sooooo sorry for trying to make you eat that creamed spinach!!! AHHHH. I told you "its good for us women to eat our green leafy veggies." So you did. Just for me. You couldn't tell me that you had just spent the past hour or so eating with Dad. Sorry about that. Kinda. Its another memory of you. No bad memories... only great ones.
Did you know that Iain says he knew he was falling in love with me because of the way I talked about you and Dad when we first started to go out for Sushi?
Yup.
You really are all that love is. and I am a better person because of you.
Thanks for that.
Happy Thanksgiving, Norma.
'T' left this memory on 26.11.08:
Geez! It is so hard to think of NJB being gone for two years today. It seems like I was just kissing her goodnight and I never saw her conscious again. She left us without pain or suffering. As I held her hand and kissed her in ICU I felt so lonesome.She had become my entire reason for being and I had lost her.I guess I knew that she would have to go for over two years and yet it seemed like she would be with me for so much longer.
I remember her face being so relaxed and peaceful in the ICU. Though her brain was alive, her soul had moved on. As the doctor told me only the machine was keeping her breathing, i wished for a miracle that I knew could not be. He showed how she would stop as he turned off the machines. Her hand started to turn cold and I had to let go because I only wanted to remember her as the warm and loving woman that she was. As I left the room he told me that he would have to turn it back on for the nurse to prepare her for ----------. I walked away from her body but her spirit went with me in my heart and remains there.
'T' left this memory on 23.11.08:
It is approaching the 2nd anniversary of NJB's trip to heaven. She is missed as much as ever and is in my thoughts each and every day. I still wake up and expect to see her. Sometimes as she was before her stroke and sometimes waiting for her to call for me. Her candle is always lit in my front room and I still play Sheila's family Christmas message every day because it reminds me of the 1st Christmas without her and how much I loved her then and still do. Christmas Eve will be hard ,again, because I will picture her smiling and having sooooo much fun with her grandgirls, Nathan and Kris, Bridget and me. I hope she is able to make her lasagna in heaven because it was 'Heavenly' here on earth. ILY NJB and always will.
'T' left this memory on 12.11.08:
Listening to Neil Diamond's CD reminds me of the 5 times that we got to see him live. We always got wrapped up in his singing and probably was our favorite as a couple.
Her favorite ,before T, was Trini Lopez. Mine was ELVIS.
Our favorie song to sing together was "Islands in the Stream" by Dolly and Kenny. We sang it a few times on stage at the Silver Dollar. Good thing that she was the lead on that.
NJB won a few contests on her own Her best song was Rocky Top.She could really 'ROCK' it.
T left this memory on 08.11.08:
Tuesday's and Saturday's were shower days.Believe it or not, after a few showers, she started to look forward to them. Not so much to the shower but to the fun we had and the mess that we made.Water everywhere! She needed time to get used to me lifting her onto the shower bench but it didn't take long and after a few times she was doing as much to help as I was.Shampooing was the hardest for me because her hair was so thick. Easy to get it clean but a B---- to rinse.
Monday night and Friday night she would get this devilish look on her face and say," tomorrow is fun day" and I would answer,"for whom!!" Lots of GOOD memories!
T left this memory on 08.11.08:
Tuesday's and Saturday's were shower days.Believe it or not, after a few showers, she started to look forward to them. Not so much to the shower but to the fun we had and the mess that we made.Water everywhere! She needed time to get used to me lifting her onto the shower bench but it didn't take long and after a few times she was doing as much to help as I was.Shampooing was the hardest for me because her hair was so thick. Easy to get it clean but a B---- to rinse.
Monday night and Friday night she would get this devilish look on her face and say," tomorrow is fun day" and I would answer,"for whom!!" Lots of GOOD memories!
T left this memory on 28.10.08:
Each day was the the same,except for Tuesday and Saturday, yet different. I would get up about 5:00AM, check on NJB, who was usually still sleeping,leave a note pinned to her bed where she would see it and get to the store for whatever she had decided that she wanted to eat that day. One of the last things that we did each night was decide how she wanted to spend the next day. Then we would talk to God and thank him for another day. When I returned, about 30-45 minutes, NJB would usually still be sleeping. I would read the paper for a bit and then prepare her meds for the morning (15 different pills).I would wake her and and our day was underway.Say our morning prayers, change her, wash her, dress her and always we were, both of us,expressing our love for each other. Next, I prepared her breakfast and after a little TV and rest for her we would put her leg brace on and begin exercising her legs and arms.Only the Lord knows how many times she would tell me how "this would be the last day that she was going to do this". After a hour of exercise we would plan our day.Dr.visits,maybe go to lunch,go for a walk,watch a movie,play dominoes,read books or magazines,or just talk.(always meds)
NJB would nap in the afternoon for a couple of hours and then we would have dinner.After we would again talk or watch TV or read or listen to music.
We would usually get ready for bed about 8:00 (always meds)and then we would replay our day and plan for tomorrow and talk to God.Our kiss goodnight was always special because I didn't know if there would be another. She was so much a trooper. Hardly ever complaining,only when I did something wrong or made dinner too hot or something silly. When she smiled I could tell if it was genuine or not by the way her eyes would glisten.
'T' left this memory on 25.10.08:
Each day brings another sweet memory of our times together. Each day I hold you closer in my heart.
