April 17
April 17
Happy Heavenly birthday, Dad. These years are a little less bright without you in them. I love you always.
Peter Michael Ders, Husband, Dad, Grandpa, Brother, Uncle, and Friend to many, died unexpectedly at age 69.
Peter Ders passed peacefully from our world on Friday, May 29, 2020 surrounded by the love of his family who were with him via FaceTime.
Peter was born on April 17, 1951 in Syracuse, New York to John and Isabel Barnes Ders. His father was a Grey Hound bus driver and his mother was a customer service manager at Sears Roebuck. Peter is the third of four children. His older sister Jackie, older brother John (lovingly known as Bob), and younger sister Corinne all survive him.
Peter graduated from Onondaga High School in 1969 where he played football and basketball and played saxophone in the band. He graduated with honors from Lemoyne College in Syracuse with a Bachelor of Science in Biology.
Once out of college, Peter joined IBM in north Jersey and excelled in sales throughout his career while working at R. Shriver & Associates, Beta Resources, AT&T, and Lucent Technologies. Peter traveled through the country and world serving customers and he received many awards and was proud to work with his many friends at all these companies.
Peter, who was given the moniker Petie-Pie by his nephew many years ago is known far and wide by this sweet name. Peter had many interests that made him happy including world travel, a lover of gadgets and toys, a good glass of wine, baking, cooking, and entertaining a full house. He loved the weather, maps, bird watching, music, cards, and was a prolific Sudoku player. He was a sun lover and enjoyed a beach and a pool. Peter was an avid fly fisherman and leaves behind way too many fishing rods. He is truly known for his corny but funny jokes and always had a story at the ready that he liked to regale people with.
Peter was a loving, kind, and compassionate person who cared for people and went out of his way to help. He lit up a room with his presence, wit, knowledge and humor.
Peter is survived by Peggy, the love of his life for 32 years. They traveled the globe and visited 64 countries together on six continents. They loved to visit their children, their parents, family, and their many friends.
Peter is also survived by his amazing children who he loved and was so proud of with all his heart, Kimberly Marie Ders-Petrallia and her husband Matthew, and Joshua Adam Ders and his wife Tara and his beloved grandchildren, Jayden Adam and Sophia Elizabeth, along with Kay Chapman Hannigan, his first wife of 13 years. Peter was a special brother, a fun uncle, nephew, and beloved cousin to many Barnes’, and a friend to countless people who he loved. You all know who you are.
He lit up a room with his smile, caring ways, had a joke and a story always at the ready. He would do anything for anyone and had a giving heart.
Sadly, during this time of pandemic we will not be holding a funeral. Please take a moment and offer up a prayer of peace and love for our dear Peter. We will celebrate his life as soon as we are able to gather, but also, please do so in every moment of simple pleasure.
If you wish to honor Peter’s memory you may make a donation to St John’s Soup Kitchen in Newark, NJ https://www.njsk.org/ or Jose Andres’ World Central Kitchen https://wck.org/
Tributes
Leave a tribute
May 29, 2023
May 29, 2023
How is it three years have gone by without you? I miss you every day - especially the second big bear hug.
I love you, Dad.
I love you, Dad.
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
Happy Birthday, Dad. We miss you every day. ❤️
May 29, 2021
May 29, 2021
Peter, I miss you more than words could say. I love you forever. Peggy ❤️
May 29, 2021
May 29, 2021
Miss you and love you Petie-Pie
February 11, 2021
February 11, 2021
Dear, Peggy , I met with Brenda Barnes Coffman yesterday , she told me
about Pete's sudden and sad passing. I'm so sorry for you and your family. I'm happy I saw both of you a little over a year ago. I always appreciated visiting with Pete over the years, he always had time for an update and was one of of the best of the family!
Take care,
Love, Chris Barnes Merritt
about Pete's sudden and sad passing. I'm so sorry for you and your family. I'm happy I saw both of you a little over a year ago. I always appreciated visiting with Pete over the years, he always had time for an update and was one of of the best of the family!
Take care,
Love, Chris Barnes Merritt
December 20, 2020
December 20, 2020
I am so sorry for your loss.
Peter worked with me when I ran a Sales Recognition /Compensation initiative at Western Electric in the early '80s. My fondest memory of working with Peter is when we had to go to The Boca Beach club to sign the contracts for a week-long Sales Recognition Event. We arrived and received a call advising us not to sign and stay put until details had been ironed out at Corporate. I was beside my self but Peter suggested that we just enjoy the adventure! So we did. I learned the value of common sense and patience from Peter!
Peter worked with me when I ran a Sales Recognition /Compensation initiative at Western Electric in the early '80s. My fondest memory of working with Peter is when we had to go to The Boca Beach club to sign the contracts for a week-long Sales Recognition Event. We arrived and received a call advising us not to sign and stay put until details had been ironed out at Corporate. I was beside my self but Peter suggested that we just enjoy the adventure! So we did. I learned the value of common sense and patience from Peter!
June 12, 2020
June 12, 2020
Peggy, We are so sorry to hear the news of Peter passing. Following your love story and travels has always inspired Billy and I! Prayers for peace and comfort during this time.
Love, Leslie & Billy Campbell
Love, Leslie & Billy Campbell
June 12, 2020
June 12, 2020
Peggy your D&B family is thinking of you and sending loving peaceful vibes your way. Dan and I enjoyed “Pie” so much the day we got to spend with you both zip lining. Clearly we weren’t the first to be having an amazing international experience with you both. I hope those memories are soothing to you at this time.
June 6, 2020
June 6, 2020
Jim and I are so sorry to hear this news.
Sending out thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this very difficult time.
Sending out thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this very difficult time.
June 2, 2020
June 2, 2020
Dear Peggy and Family,
What a truly beautiful tribute to an exceptional man. He was so kind and thoughtful, a joy to be around. I feel blessed to have known him. He was "mahvelous"
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time,
Love you,
Susan
What a truly beautiful tribute to an exceptional man. He was so kind and thoughtful, a joy to be around. I feel blessed to have known him. He was "mahvelous"
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time,
Love you,
Susan
June 2, 2020
June 2, 2020
Hi Peggy,
We're deeply saddened with Peter's passing.
A gentleman of many stories and great humor. We'll miss his friendly smiles and daily waves from across the street as well as our often impromptu gatherings on each others decks just celebrating life.
Thank you both for being such wonderful friends and Peter, we still have that garden to build this year.
Love,
Phil & Peggy
We're deeply saddened with Peter's passing.
A gentleman of many stories and great humor. We'll miss his friendly smiles and daily waves from across the street as well as our often impromptu gatherings on each others decks just celebrating life.
Thank you both for being such wonderful friends and Peter, we still have that garden to build this year.
Love,
Phil & Peggy
June 2, 2020
June 2, 2020
Peggy,
I’m so sorry for your loss. From reading some of the tributes, he was a wonderful person full of life. Hugs and prayers to you and your family during this difficult time. Janet (Caldwell) Minch
I’m so sorry for your loss. From reading some of the tributes, he was a wonderful person full of life. Hugs and prayers to you and your family during this difficult time. Janet (Caldwell) Minch
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020
We only recently met Peter and Peggy but felt we spent quality time with them. Peter became dear to us for his sense of humour, his obvious love for Peggy and his family. He loved making toasts so we raise a glass to his memory and the pleasure of having met him.
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020
Dearest Kim,
The tribute to your Father was so ...beautiful. You have been well loved and blessed in this life. I now have a fuller understanding of who you are and where you came from. I love you and will be praying for all of you. May He rest in peace until you are all reunited:)
The tribute to your Father was so ...beautiful. You have been well loved and blessed in this life. I now have a fuller understanding of who you are and where you came from. I love you and will be praying for all of you. May He rest in peace until you are all reunited:)
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020
Your tribute reflects a life well lived and a man well loved.
Peggy and Peter were the perfect couple. The word soul mates describes them perfectly. As Peggy’s cousins we had the good fortune of having Peter
Join our family. Are hearts are with you from afar.
With love and deepest sympathy,
Kathy and Bob
Peggy and Peter were the perfect couple. The word soul mates describes them perfectly. As Peggy’s cousins we had the good fortune of having Peter
Join our family. Are hearts are with you from afar.
With love and deepest sympathy,
Kathy and Bob
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020
Lovely tribute to Peter!
What a beautiful life he lived and shared with all his family and friends!
I know our hearts are heavy, but will always smile remembering all the fun times we shared throughout the years!
❤️
Love, Maureen
What a beautiful life he lived and shared with all his family and friends!
I know our hearts are heavy, but will always smile remembering all the fun times we shared throughout the years!
❤️
Love, Maureen
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020
Peter - a gentleman and a truly good guy. You were 1 in a million. Alison and I will miss your smile and your friendship.
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020
Love you for always, dad.
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020
Absolutely beautiful. Fly mr. Pie fly .
Leave a Tribute
Recent Tributes
April 17
April 17
Happy Heavenly birthday, Dad. These years are a little less bright without you in them. I love you always.
May 29, 2023
May 29, 2023
How is it three years have gone by without you? I miss you every day - especially the second big bear hug.
I love you, Dad.
I love you, Dad.
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
Happy Birthday, Dad. We miss you every day. ❤️
Gallery
His Life
My friends call me Pie
May 31, 2020
by Joshua Ders
One of my father's all time favorite memories is in regard to realizing how observant his grandson is:
We were visiting the East Coast Ders from California in the summer of 2005. Lots of activities to be had: a trip to New York city to visit Aunt Kimmie, historical sites in NJ around Dad and Peggy's house, namely Jockey Hollow, and a family bbq with the McCarthy's and a special visit with my grandparents(Dad's mom and dad).
I was in charge of cooking the chicken because dad still had issues with "peanut butter chicken" (a story for another time) and I was making these tasty portobello mushroom appetizers that my Grandmother fell in love with and it became a recipe dad would text me for or call me to get even though I knew he knew it by heart every time he cooked them(any reason to talk to your son, and I will miss that).
I had just brought in the second wave of mushrooms and I walked into dad telling the story of how he became Petie-Pie and at the end of the story he said, "but of course all my friends call me Pie."
A few minutes passed and Jayden, his grandson walked in from the other room where he was undoubtedly playing with some of Pie's favorite toys. He walked up to his Grandfather and said, "Pie, can you pass me some chips."
Dad started laughing and picked Jayden up for a hug, because he instantly connected that Jayden had been listening to his story from the other room and called him Pie because of it.
Grandparents share a special bond with their grandkids, but it was in that moment that my father realized how connected Jayden was to him.
It's a story that dad loved to tell and that we all loved to hear, because you could hear and feel the love he has for his grandkids.
Rest easy Pie!
We were visiting the East Coast Ders from California in the summer of 2005. Lots of activities to be had: a trip to New York city to visit Aunt Kimmie, historical sites in NJ around Dad and Peggy's house, namely Jockey Hollow, and a family bbq with the McCarthy's and a special visit with my grandparents(Dad's mom and dad).
I was in charge of cooking the chicken because dad still had issues with "peanut butter chicken" (a story for another time) and I was making these tasty portobello mushroom appetizers that my Grandmother fell in love with and it became a recipe dad would text me for or call me to get even though I knew he knew it by heart every time he cooked them(any reason to talk to your son, and I will miss that).
I had just brought in the second wave of mushrooms and I walked into dad telling the story of how he became Petie-Pie and at the end of the story he said, "but of course all my friends call me Pie."
A few minutes passed and Jayden, his grandson walked in from the other room where he was undoubtedly playing with some of Pie's favorite toys. He walked up to his Grandfather and said, "Pie, can you pass me some chips."
Dad started laughing and picked Jayden up for a hug, because he instantly connected that Jayden had been listening to his story from the other room and called him Pie because of it.
Grandparents share a special bond with their grandkids, but it was in that moment that my father realized how connected Jayden was to him.
It's a story that dad loved to tell and that we all loved to hear, because you could hear and feel the love he has for his grandkids.
Rest easy Pie!
Recent stories
Advice
June 29, 2020
by Kim Ders
My Dad always had a piece of advice to share with me. Sometimes words of wisdom, sometimes not, but always memorable.
Things like:
Don’t drive over the concrete barrier when you’re parking. Try not to fart in home room. Always color eggs and carve pumpkins. Make sure you time the Cornell chicken (10 minute flip intervals). When you want something, ask for it then shut up: he who speaks first loses. During covid times, his advice was, if you don’t feel safe, GET OUT!
Recently, I told him of the birds who had nested in our front door wreath and were currently sitting on eggs. He told me, once upon a time of the bird nesting in a front door wreath of his and how whenever he opened the door, the damn bird would fly straight into the living room. He said after about the fourth time, he learned to knock on the door before he opened it.
I didn’t know that would be the last time I would get to talk to him. That this silly bird story would be his final piece of advice to me. Just knock on the door before you open it. Pretty good advice for birds and other life situations.
Today, it has been a month since my Dad died. Today, the final fledgling left the nest. He’d be thrilled, and proud that none of the damn birds flew into the living room.
Love you Petie-Pie
A fisherman and a gentleman
June 12, 2020
by Kim Ders
My cousin Shane shared this story with us:
I'm so sorry about the loss of Petie-Pie. I have so many great memories of my time with him growing up, and the things he taught me. When I was in middle school. I would spend a week in the summer with him in Atlanta, and one memory that always stands out was a time when we got skunked fishing on the Chattahoochee, but your dad wouldn't allow me to fly back to Richmond without reeling in a fish, so on the drive back to the house, we swung into a trout farm, and caught a bunch of giant trout! I loved your father very much, and my memories with him will remain with me always. ❤️ -Shane
I'm so sorry about the loss of Petie-Pie. I have so many great memories of my time with him growing up, and the things he taught me. When I was in middle school. I would spend a week in the summer with him in Atlanta, and one memory that always stands out was a time when we got skunked fishing on the Chattahoochee, but your dad wouldn't allow me to fly back to Richmond without reeling in a fish, so on the drive back to the house, we swung into a trout farm, and caught a bunch of giant trout! I loved your father very much, and my memories with him will remain with me always. ❤️ -Shane
Time Has Come Today
May 31, 2020
by Joshua Ders
Dad loved music and we shared songs back and forth via text, but mostly he shared songs that meant something to him and how it connected to his life and outlook. Here is the last one he sent me on April 7, 2020 via text:
"Here’s another song I loved in the early 70s. You weren’t born yet but I used to dance around the house to it! “Time has come today! “ it was my time to take hold, my time to get myself through college, my time to work hard!It goes on for a while! Oh it was written and performed by the Chambers Brothers. It’s almost 15 minutes long."
Keep dancing dad!
"Here’s another song I loved in the early 70s. You weren’t born yet but I used to dance around the house to it! “Time has come today! “ it was my time to take hold, my time to get myself through college, my time to work hard!It goes on for a while! Oh it was written and performed by the Chambers Brothers. It’s almost 15 minutes long."
Keep dancing dad!