Christmas was such a special time for you - I loved how you spent months planning and researching the special gifts that you would give to each and every person on your gift list!  And how you brought the whole family together here to celebrate - there are so many special memories of the holiday week in San Diego! The zoo or wild animal park, whale watching, Scripps Acquarium, the Grinch, A Christmas Carol...and always, the Corvette Diner! I miss you every day, but this day more than most.  Thanks for the memories!  Love, Juli

I never really thought of Ralph as Ralph alone. I always thought of him as Ralph and Juli. I first met Ralph at one of Juli's art events which one has faded into history. He was always there it seemed from the beginning to the end of the event. Yes, at times he found a quiet spot to read or he wandered around the event or areas nearby. And yet, he always seemed to remain close, helping Juli when and wherever he could. 

When we would have art meetings at his home, I remember his delicious and healthy cookies that he shared with our pot lucks. After he ate, he would fade into the background to let us argue our points and reappear when we finished to say goodbye. 

I'll miss his smile and the twinkle in his eye when he teased or came up with some bit of wisdom.

I will never forget the evening I spent with Juli, Ralph, his son & daughter-in-law and a few of his grandchildren. Until that night I only knew Ralph as my aunt Juli's partner and had only spent time with him in the rather large and loud group that is my family. In that crazy setting, I knew Ralph as a quiet and very intelligent man who loved to play games.  But then I got to see him with his family, a group of people he loved dearly, and it was a wonderful eye-opener.


Ralph spent the entire evening smiling from ear to ear. He gave each grandchild his full attention, lots of affection, and made each one laugh.  He made a point to connect with everyone there and to point out connections between those of us who were strangers so that no one sat left out. He was light as a feather and bursting with pride.


I went home that night with an entirely new understanding of who Ralph was. His love for the folks at that table was nearly tangible. I am so very sorry for your loss but I am so glad you all got to have this loving and dedicated man in your lives.      


    

I think that the first time I met Ralph was at one of our family gatherings at Debordieu in South Carolina.  My mother was an avid bridge player and, in her eighties, was expanding her knowledge of the game.  She was eager to team up with me to challenge Ralph and Juli for an evening of Chicago.  

Mom was a pretty good player, but not in Ralph's league, and I hadn't played at all in many years.  But we got an unbelievable good streak of cards that evening, more slams than not as I recall.  Mom got such pleasure at besting someone as strong as Ralph!  He never even slipped a hint that perhaps it was the fall of the cards that did it and not our brilliance.  He just let her take the pleasure of her moment.

The were other games of Chicago in other years at Debordieu and Mom and I never again topped Juli and Ralph but that first time gave her such pleasure!

In at east one of those other years at Debordieu Ralph won the heart of my very young granddaughter Bronwen.  She was in a painfully shy period of her development but Ralph just lit up to her and lit her right up.  It was quite a sight.  He had the touch.

Ralph lit up Juli's life, of course.  So apparently he had a way with women, Bridgeman women at least, be they 80-odd or 3 or (39)-ish.  God bless you Ralph, and thanks.

Jim Bridgeman 

Hello, Juli

       Barb and I were stunned and very saddened to learn of Ralph’s sudden passing.  Ralph was one of those special souls with a natural enthusiasm for life and a gentle love of his fellow man.  He was an ambassador of good vibrations, and his commitment to service was breathtaking.  He will be long-remembered, and greatly missed.  By the way, you have done a magnificent job with the Ralph Baty – Forever Missed – website.  It is a beautiful and moving tribute.

        Barb and I met Ralph through duplicate bridge around 1997, and when I learned that Ralph worked at SAIC we often met and chatted, right there on the SAIC campus.  We were in different divisions and doing different kinds of work, so I did not have the chance to meet with any of his co-workers. 

        By 1999 we were regular teammates in duplicate bridge tournaments – with Barb and I as one pair, and Ralph and a partner being the other pair of our team.  We were quite formidable for our “point level” and had great success as we pressed ever onward to become “Life Masters”. 

        There is one magic memory that I want to share with you about our journey.  In 1999 Barb and I were very close to achieving the goal of Life Master.  We played with Ralph (as usual) as a team in knockouts at the San Diego Regional.  We won the knockout, that those gold points put Barb and I over the top!  And just a few months later, in 2000, Ralph was similarly close to achieving the same goal.  We all teamed up for a knockout at the Orange County Regional, and when we won that event, Ralph joined the Life Master club as well!  We were all so thrilled to have been each other’s teammates on this exciting adventure.  An unforgettable memory of an unforgettable man.

        As you know, we who had the good fortune to know Ralph at a deeper level were blessed. 

With sympathy and love,

Larry Hauser

I met Ralph on a dating website called eHarmony.  As it turned out, we had some friends in common also, but had never met through them! (We lived less than two miles from each other and shopped at the same grocery; his son went to the same high school as mine.)

This was the profile photo that Ralph posted.  His daughters in law discouraged him from using this photo, but he insisted it was whaat he wanted to post.  

I wanted to meet the man so secure in his masculinity that he would post a photo of himself cuddling with his grandchildren on a dating website!  I thought it spoke volumes about how important family was to him, and that, in turn, was important to me.

His capacity for love and tenderness was tremendous, and my life and the lives of those I love have all been enriched by my knowing Ralph.

Thank you, my love. 



 

Ralph used to go to Artwalk with me (Juli) and help set up the booth, then walk arount the festival a little, and then settle into his chair with a book or a crossword puzzle.  He always wore this hat, which he said had more personality than he did!

One year, my booth was on the end of the street, and he moved his chair around to the  side of the booth so that I could not see him from inside the booth.  During a lull when I had no visitors to the booth, I noticed a woman approaching from that side. She was furiously snapping photos as she approached, but I couln't figure out what she was doing - so as she passed in front of my booth, I asked her, "what was so interesting out there? I noticed you were taking a lot of pictures."

She said, "look, there is this really interesting looking old man sitting there reading. I thought maybe I would paint him." 

Then it dawned on her that he was probably my partner, and she looked a little sheepish and hurried away.

Later when I told Ralph about the incident, he protested, "I am not an old man.  I prefer to be an antique!" 

These pictures from Glad were more recent; I think the "antique" story was from 3 or 4 years ago, but he always had that look about him at Artwalk and it often attracted the same attention - a character worthy of a portrait.  

One of the things Ralph loved was to encourage new bridge players to grow and expand their horizons.  To this end, he had a non-sanctioned duplicate game in his home for many years (more than 25 years), and a second group that was an informal discussion group, to talk about bridge questions and then play some hands.

He loved to put together a team from this discussion group to try out Swiss Team games, another twist on the game, and loved to do that as part of the Regional Tournement where there is an entire ballroom filled with players of all skill levels and mastery.  He wanted us to find out that a big tournement was a place for us to really enjoy the game and learn more.

He would remind the team that the first rule of bridge was to "have fun", and that we were winners just to be in the game on that day, trying something new.  In this photo, Juli (me), Ralph, Sarah and Kristy are posing for the winners photo for placing first in our team game in 2011 0r 2012.  We were thrilled!