With the image of his smirk accompanied by a laugh frozen in my memory, it’s hard to imagine that this same person could be so intimidating to me as a child. “Mr. Wittich” was that big scary guy… you know that one adult you remember as a kid that for some reason instilled you with a certain fear. But I’ll never forget the time when the big scary guy delivered one of the all-time classic lines to end the Little League baseball game for the ages.
With seven different pitchers, a marathon of walks, and darkness threatening to end a game that lasted so long nobody knew which team was winning; Geoff Berman threw the infamous pitch that would turn a semi-comatose crowd into frenzy. In an instant, umpire Bob Wittich was given the not so good fortune of being at the center of the biggest controversy in the history of the Larchmont Little League. Long story short, the pitch bounced before it reached home plate and the batter somehow managed to make contact and get a hit, seemingly defying the laws of physics. Nobody had ever seen this before… a pitch being hit on a bounce. Is it live? Should the kid run to first base? Is it a do over? Faster than you can grab your cell phone, the familiar roar when someone gets a hit was heard throughout and what ensued was a 10-minute display of everything that is wrong with youth sports… parents on the field screaming at each other, fingers pointing. There was yelling, shouting, flailing arms, altercation, and total pandemonium… all while innocent nine-years-olds stood dumfounded. Soon order was restored and the game ended prematurely on account of general ridiculousness.
During the proverbial insincere hand shake, the once silent Little Leaguers began to argue with one another while exhausted emotionless parents methodically began packing up for the night. “No, we won,” said one child. “No we did, it was 8 to 7,” said another. “No it was 7 to 6, we won,” added a third child. As the volume of voices escalated with more kids from each team joining the debate, a new altercation began to emerge. It was then that a stern, commanding, loud voice came over the Little Leaguers from the big scary Mr. Wittich that silenced all. “Hey stop that right now… you guys are old enough to know not to act like your parents!” A line that cut the tension completely and belongs in the Henny Youngman Hall of Fame. I can still hear the laughs from all the adults in the background. Mr. Wittich, your sense of humor will be missed!
--Andrew Hirschhorn