A Tribute to My Mama
As my siblings and I worked on the program for today, I was struck by the word “Witness” which appears at this part of the service. I meditated on the context of the word and want to share a strong quality of Mommy’s that I can testify to having witnessed.
Before I begin, though, let me say that Mommy has been showing us signs of a mother’s love from the other side, and it’s been comforting to receive and experience them as they occur. One of those signs, I believe, led me to writing this tribute to her:
Mommy had these beautiful elephant carvings--a mother and her calf--and the other day, I placed them on the shelf, near where she passed away at home. Every day since, I’ve stopped to look at that Mama Elephant and then I started thinking about how protective elephants are of their young. In the animal kingdom, elephant mothers are one of the most protective mothers. Their babies can usually be found hovering underneath them. They live in a matriarchal society, so, often, other females in the herd rally to assist the mother in ensuring their young are protected. When young elephants do encounter the dangers of their habitats, their mothers are quick to intervene.
That was my ma! And that described the village from which she came, and into which we were born. A village of fiercely protective women, whose duty it became to limit their family’s exposure to harm, hurt and heartache. Today, I’ll share with you just a few times over the course of my 43 years as her daughter, that I have witnessed that protective quality of hers.
One my earlier memories of Mommy in protective mode, was when a rogue broke into our house and Daddy was not home. It was just Mommy, Didi, tashi and me (i must have been about 7 or 8?). I won’t go into the full story--it’s a good one though--but for the sake of brevity, let’s just say that night involved mommy literally kicking the rogue in his behind, then debating whether she could actually fight him, until she saw tashi’s stunned face at the door. Eventually, Mommy...followed by me and didi holding some wood carvings in our hands as weapons and yelling leave “LEAVE MY MOMMY ALONE!”...chased that rogue out of our house. That night, I saw how fearless my mother could be when faced with protecting her young.
Next, when I was 13 or 14--actually, when Mommy was about the age I am now--a man who worked for us back home, had written something quite inappropriate on my bedroom wall. Imagine my ma springing into action when she found out what had happened, because of course, I had to report him to her. I remember standing back in awe, watching my mother become that fierce mama elephant...me standing in her shadow, as she handled that man in no uncertain terms. Instead of a kick, this time, let’s just say, someone got slapped good and then got fired promptly. No one was going to mess with her girls--that, she made crystal clear.
A few years later, in high school in Scarsdale, NY, as I rebelled against the new world and new life I found myself in, I ended up getting suspended for drinking a beer with some of my frisky friends on school grounds. I remember sobering up SO FAST when the dean called my mother in. I was so afraid of the punishment that was going to come. I remember mommy not saying much the ride home, which scared me even more, because as we know, Mommy was not afraid to speak her mind. When we got home, i was sick and got in my bed. Mommy walked in, placed her hand on my forehead and prayed over me long and hard. This was not the punishment i’d feared--instead, she used the Word of God to ask for protection over me. She knew the power of prayer well, and knew that in the space I was in emotionally, the best she could do to protect me was to ask the Lord to do so for her.
Mommy knew that sometimes it would take her feisty ways to protect her loved ones and other times, it would take a more subtle approach. I’m sure many of us here today could think of their own silly, poignant, surprising ways in which Mommy showed how protective of her family she was.
The last display of protection, is the most recent one….a bittersweet one b/c it was while she was ill. Actually, Didi had to point out to me because I couldn’t see it at the time.
When it was bedtime, I would tell Mommy to just call out my name if she needed me--that i was right down the hall and would hear her. At the beginning she would call me when she needed me. But there were some times when she wouldn’t call me, and the next morning when she would say she didn't have a good night, I would ask her why she didn’t call me and told her it upset me that she didn’t call on me when she needed me. She would just say, “ok, next time i will call you, you will see, I will humbug you good tonight!” When it happened a few more times, I shared my frustration with Didi and she told me not to look at it in that way---she told me that mommy probably felt like with all the care we gave her, that was the one small thing she could do for me….was to let me sleep. That was her way of protecting me in a situation we didn’t have much control over.
I realized that we were both trying to do the same for the other under the circumstances--those were instances where the child, now a mother too, and her mother only wanted to protect each other. As trying as it was at times, taking care of our mother was the most honorable thing any child could do for their parent. I thank God for the opportunity for us to show her the fruits of her love and protection, in the women she raised.
And now, how blessed are we to have the fiercest protector in our corner, watching over us from the best seat in the house--as an angel in heaven in the arms of the Lord.
I love you, Mama.
Love,
Your Josephine.
1/4/2018
