a sister,mum,aunty,great aunt,nanny,friend
always taking the time to listen,front door always open and kithen table ready for us to be seated
the kettle on ready for us to be treated,a cheerful smile,a gentle touch,a warm embrace
moving forward will be hard when we still believe,it was not time for it all to end
far to soon for you to leave,but you left us with serenity and dignity
quietly and peacefully you closed the one eye you had kept open for an entire day
you drifted then into sleep,no pain,no suffering,no emotional distress
the window we kept open for you had the priviledge of helping you form a blanket of early morning stars
where are you now our sandy,where did you go when the shell was left behind and your beautiful spirit flew
perhaps you are the white butterfly that dances carelessly on the breeze or the rainbow of colours that brighten a stormy day
in what ever form you choose to take,who ever you now choose to be,there will be no doubt that you wil be guiding,advising and watching over us all
we will cherish the special place we have in our hearts that we reserve for you
we thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us
we love you,we remember you,we will never forget you
our sandy,the red haired blonde,4 foot something in your denim jacket
                    the pretty blue eyed you
                             xxxxxxxx
       written by kerry,zara,stacey and ash so lovely

we met up for the first time since you had left to live in chard,i had been upset that you made excuses to put me off visiting you because del had controll over you and you could not see it.you made excuses for his behaviour but then you did love the bones off him,i love the guy, you would say.then you broke up with him and let kerry and me visit.
i could not believe how much weight you lost and you said it was due to the stress and that now you were gonna go to your chippy and eat all the pies,lol.
we went out that evening and had a good time but then you disapeared for half an hour along with kerry, i felt so annoyed that i'm in a pub on my own,abandoned
it turned out that you had got locked in the loo and kerry was rescueing you,it was funny.
you took us for a roast next day but you only ate a bit,i told you to eat up that us lowry's never leave food,but you said you were fullup.
it was funny when you said to your mate dawn to get her big butt off your chair and when was she having her gastric band fitted
we gave you a hug before we went and i told you to see your doc for a checkup but you said you were fine,no headaches,bellyaches,nothing sinister is going on and stop worrying have a safe drive home,
   well if only i knew then that it was to be our last real get together,that the final one would be to say goodbye   xxx

still finding it hard that your not here anymore.we were all so close growing up and luckily we stayed that way you and me.we rarely argued and would just agree to disagree.we would always joke and laugh about life's ups and downs,i remember how i cried when you moved to highbridge and that i was visiting you 2 days later,so when you said you were going to chard i could'nt believe it,kerry tried to get you to change your mind after she had a message from a medium
you were not gonna change your mind,well you were always the feisty one,no nonesense one who put people in their place,yet you had a heart of gold,door always open,a shoulder to cry on [well sort of] a few wise words,a cup of tea or a glass of wine,a kitkat bar a homemade pasty.i always left your house with something tucked under my arm,chocolate a stew.the way you gave people nick names just like mum did and the way you took your own teabags everywhere.remember when we joked about meeting the wrong type of men and that we would end up old spinsters in our 80's with lots of cats,sad that can't happen now,sad you had to go so soon,so much more to do,
  i expect i'm boring you now as you would famously say,,miss you my sis xx

i was so looking forward to seeing you today,then kim phoned to say you had taken a turn for the worse,were my hopes gonna be swapped for the fears of what lay ahead.as i got into kerrys car a butterfly landed on me and then at the hospital at taunton they were everywhere.it was so terrible to see you looking so ill,all i could do was cry,i was able to chat to you but you couldnt talk back cos your voice had gone.when we were alone i told you how much i loved you and that you have to get better as we still have things to do like visit places in ireland where are parents are from and how we are gonna be spinsters together with a 100 cats lol.you smiled but did you know it was never gonna happen.outside i chatted to dotty dot as you called her who could not believe how only hours before you were both havin a fag and cackling about a wheelchairwe all came and sat with you throughout the day and chatted to you to get better so we could look after you but then the doc said there was nothing they could do but keep you comfy and painfree,the sick and knotted feeling was terrible where i just wanted to scream,runaway and just wake from this nightmare.soon your girls,kerry del and me were at your side as your breathing bacame laboured,we stroked your head and held your hand then i whispered that we lo you so much sand but its time to sleep now,a deep sleep,sleep well my darlin sister,sleep well sleep  deep,kerry opened a window so you could leave and join mum and dad who were waiting  to take care of you and make you better.peacefully you fell asleep forever,miss you my sis always  xxx

you rang and told me the devastating news that you had 'c',i cried and you told me to 'get over myself' typical of you lol,i wanted to come to chard and see you but you said you were ok and that we would meet up as planned following saturday,you chuckled that pennie was all for packing up and moving in with you to take care of you and that you said you were fine that you were gonna have chemo and beat this.you were so optomistic,we chatted over the next few nights how we would take you abroad and raise money for further treatment if needed.on the thurs you were rushed in to hospital and i spoke to you that night and you said you were fine,just tired and not to come as you were to sleepy,see you saurday you said,the next night kim phoned and said you were too tired to chat so i sent a text to say 'miss you lots,get some rest look forward to seeing you tm,hope you are more comft today,nite nite' you text back 'soz bout tonight,will call in morn with details of where i am,comfy and tired,nite nite xx' this was to be your last text.
just 3 weeks before it all started with a backache, how i wished i had just jumped in the car and went to you,xx