ForeverMissed
Stories

Share a special moment from Steven's life.

入世的工程師

Shared by Linda Kao on October 16, 2012

I actually  met Steve only twice and had a few talks over the phone with him  when I was looking for a place for Bhikuni Rinchen to stay and welcoming Jenkuan Shi 見寬法師 for a short teaching at MBS in different year.    I was impressed by his soft and warm heart during the  process of these two events.  

He one day called me offering his place for Bhikuni Rinchen to stay temporary before she found a place.  I was surprised and thought  " Huuuh?  a busy engineer was worrying Shifu has nowhere to go? "    And he suggested Jenkuan Shi  to go to 媽媽班 to see if there were  more chances to raise fund for 三慧學院.  I was stounded  of how could  a busy engineer be such mundane 入世 knowing 媽媽班 might  have a chance other than his computer samadhi in the cubicle。

I could feel he was trying to help and work things out during the coversation with him over the phone.  I feel “心頭暖暖的” as 黃美惠在 “一幅矽谷工程師的畫像” 提到的.     原來工程師除了他們的 電腦世界, 也可以這麼的入世啊 !   His slefness, soft and  warm heart  spread out and touched many people.  

Steve, please 快去快回 !

With hands palm to palm,

Linda

P.S.  I mixed Chinese and English together due to my Chinese typing is so slow.   Hope it won't bother too much to the  people who read  it.   Thanks for your patient !

 

 

祝願遠行的曉峰一路走好~

Shared by LI SHYU on October 12, 2012

從9/19開始忙碌至今,10/6深夜為了讓腦子放空,我到UND部落格首頁放牧視線,忽然「說再見, Empty Traveler」映入眼裡,心裡納悶的同時點了進去,是蔡阿公JK TSAI發的文,循線回溯,始知是Empty Traveler格主陳曉峰居士往生了。

  奇怪!秋天伊始,葉未變色,風未起,為何近日菩薩凋零多?先是國學大師南懷瑾,幾天後「台灣中道學院真華長老圓寂」的消息出現在我的郵箱裡,短短幾天教界兩位大德隕歿!

  同一天下午,我的垃圾信箱裡出現一封「追思自信自在的優婆塞張渝寧」的信,我想不久前還收到張渝寧師兄親手寫的稿子,怎麼現在用「追思」兩個字!是不是張師兄找人把自己的稿子輸入電腦E給我?打開附件才知道學佛多年,受過菩薩戒同時也曾在法光寺及其他寺院發心教合唱團的張渝寧居士往生了。

  初入UDN時,不識格林遊戲規則,只知埋首貼文,Empty Traveler格主曉峰菩薩經常來鼓勵,給我按推薦,於此因緣,知道格主皈依繼如法師,在茫茫格海中,心裡踏實安定了不少。

  「說再見,Empty Traveler」之後,我才了解,原來「Empty Traveler」的主人是陳-曉-峰菩薩!

  曉峰舉家從芝加哥搬到灣區定居後,工作餘暇積極護持佛教,從事公益,關懷社區,「美國菩提學會」一直有他的身影,多年來他和同修怡慈師姐,把繼如法師開示的錄音帶整理成文字,我自己也整理過錄音帶,知道這是一項需要專注細心而費時的工作,如今繼如法師開示的錄音檔,在曉峰努力化為文字後,成果斐然,期待他日能把曉峰的成果,發行成書,利益更多人。

  美國菩提學會,把東岸精英都吸過去了,像陳志雄,江美玲,像張維英…,等等。原來菩提學會有曉峰。

  曉峰的生命雖短,但是他把自己的生命發揮得淋漓盡致!他珍惜每一個當下。讓人難以想像的是,從事高科技工作的曉峰,工作之餘,全心全力投入公益,尤其是菩提學會辦活動時,工作繁重,從邀請到連絡,接待到善後,鉅細事項曉峰大小兼顧。我明白也深知曉峰是菩薩的化身,他以有限的生命警醒著我們-要珍惜當下的每一刻;善用自己的生命,這,包括了自己的色身與道業;曉峰是勇敢的,他的色身雖危雖脆,但他那股「菩薩清涼月,常遊畢竟空,為償多劫願, 浩蕩赴前程。」的壯烈願力卻叫人動容!是的「為償多劫願, 浩蕩赴前程」,祈願曉峰能乘願再來,娑婆世間需要您~。願怡慈師姐把悲傷,把哀思化為增上緣,把一切善行和淨念回向曉峰,在精進道業的同時,其實受益最多的是自己。

  祝願遠行的曉峰一路走好,希望怡慈勇敢接下挑戰,未來我們都在您身邊。

Shared by Thomas Yin on October 12, 2012

一幅矽谷工程師的畫像 黃美惠 October 11, 2012 06:00 AM 

離開殯儀館的人都獲一只小紙袋,他們說:「一點有機食物給大家午餐享用。」

這天是矽谷工程師陳曉峰(Steven H Chen)的告別式。加州秋日正午陽光裡,我提著紙袋沿路走一小段。對街是一片公墓,四圍更顯安靜。低頭看看紙袋,內有三明治、蘋果,以及一份果汁。

三明治是純素,極粗的麵包夾一片黃瓜和少許青菜,幾片極薄豆乾,沒有醬料。絕非一般可口三明治,但嚼著嚼著,嚼出真味。

就連葬禮,Steven都能帶給人不一樣的領受。

陳曉峰是中秋節清晨走的,在世只50年。癌來兇猛,7月查出,兩個多月就帶走了這位甲骨文公司的傑出工程師。過世十天前他都還在工作,勸他多休養,他說:「公司很忙,我再堅持一下。」

也有人回憶他在世最常說的話:「別客氣、沒關係,我幫你。」

在矽谷這十多年,深淺結交不少華人工程師,常想有朝一日寫出「矽谷華裔工程師畫像」;若以陳曉峰為藍本,應會讓人心頭柔軟暖暖的一幅。

祖籍安徽的陳曉峰出生於台北,台大電機讀完碩士來美,1996年獲西北大學電腦博士。他在1990年和賴怡慈結婚,家庭和樂,聰慧的獨生女Joy就讀麻省理工學院。

以上是萬千矽谷工程師的寫照。但學佛讓陳曉峰不一樣。學佛也是讓他走得突然,卻沒有遺憾的核心原因。

這是位「上班前半小時、下班後一個半小時打坐」的另類工程師;在矽谷壓力鍋,靜坐十分鐘總帶來新力量。最後的日子,他呼吸困難,問他是不是該召喚救護車?要求氧氣筒?他說不必,「自然就好。」死前的一日,昏倒三次。害怕嗎?那最後的一刻將屆?他說:「不會!不怕!」

最貼近他的心是社團菩提學會,他也是推廣安寧照護的美華慈心關懷聯盟義工。他會想到別人實際的需要,流淚的同修在告別式上說:「他看我開車四處奔忙,說給我一張小小支票。我一打開,天呀,他送我2000塊錢。」

他喜好閱讀、電影、寫作,在UDN有部落格「空行者」(Emptytraveler),洩露他的文采,他細心經營這畝離本業很遠的田園,跟隨者不少,讀後讓人有所得。

以下就是他在部落格上的話:「看著外面明媚的陽光,想著『開始』與『結束』的相對並存性,當『開始』發生時,『結束』的可能性也早已潛藏而待發,反過來,『結束』發生時,也意味著新的『開始』,無限的可能也都在其中。」


Read more: 世界新聞網-北美華人社區新聞 - 《金山人語》一幅矽谷工程師的畫像

此情可待成追憶

Shared by yausan Cheung on October 11, 2012

此情可待成追憶

只是當時也惘然 -------      張又珊

 

此情,是與曉峰的純真友情。

黃昏時分離家,Terry幫我把幾大盤菜餚加上電飯鍋、湯鍋什麼的,一一的在後車廂擺妥當,然後我一邊叮囑他在家照顧小孩吃晚飯,一邊自己匆匆忙忙的跳上車,往菩提學會飛奔而去。這是星期四晚上,我負責【佛法概論DVD】班。

當初因為看了這套DVD,宏印師父以印順導師的【佛法概論】為主而講解攝製,覺得簡直棒極了,應該鼓勵大家一起來看,於是自告奮勇開了這個黃昏班,因考慮到有些同修剛下班,來不及吃晚飯,所以我負責給大家做晚飯。提議交出去之後,曉峰自動來幫忙,因為我不會搞那堆什麼電腦電線跟複雜機器接來接去插頭一大堆,看了就昏倒那種。反正,從第一天晚上開始,曉峰就在下班後趕來學會,幫忙搞那堆插頭電線機器,安置的妥妥當當的,佛法概論DVD裡的映像,端端正正的在四平八穩的白色熒幕上恭候著姍姍遲來的佛友們。

常常在這樣一個星期四的黃昏,當我的車駛近學會時,在漸漸開始昏暗的天色及冷清黯寂的馬路上,遠遠的,我看到學會靠後街的窗口透出暈黃的燈光,原本匆慌及有些不安的心情,也像這近晚的天色,像這荒涼馬路那樣幽暗的心裡,突然就亮起一盞美麗溫暖的大燈,我知道曉峰已經到了,我知道他正在那個房間搞那堆我看了就發昏的電線。剛才那整個下午在廚房洗洗切切又炒又煮緊緊張張的慌亂,一下子!一下子就被那後街窗口的燈光撫平了,也是晚歸尋路的孤舟突然在一片芒霧裡望見了燈塔那樣,有了依靠及安全。He  is  there ,everything  is going to be okay !

不知道多少個星期四黃昏,在那條馬路上,幾乎從沒讓人失望過,那扇窗口,瑩瀼著人間有情義,靜好穩妥,難以捕捉的,一個讓人安心的片刻。因為有曉峰在那裡。

不知道多少個星期四夜晚,DVD放完,佛友們漸漸的走光了,只剩下曉峰和我。我忙收鍋碗瓢盆,曉峰收電線電腦。他的動作迅捷,一下子就弄好,我還在那裡倒垃圾擦桌子什麼的。他永遠跟我說【不急不急,慢慢來,我會等你-----】他總是那麼耐心,過來看看能幫什麼。然後關好窗子。然後關好大門。然後看我進車。看到我的車燈亮了,他才把車開走。

當時並不知,有一天,這般的尋常,竟變成此生一個珍貴的回憶!

Message and the divine messenger

Shared by Ying Chen on October 11, 2012

It’s been a few weeks since I got the MBS email messages from the “emptymeditator” announcing dharma events, classes, talks, and organizing the board activities. These emails, for the past three years, have been the source of connection between my household life and the dharma. Each message, whatever it may be, is like Steven’s gentle whisper on our ears, reminding us to walk the path with confidence, trust, and sincerity. 

In a way, he rallied us to follow the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha; he created opportunities for us to practice generosity and loving-kindness; he served as a role model for many. These messages created a virtual space that the wandering souls could call “home” and these messages provided friendly supporting hands for those who struggle.

Now the messages have stopped, but the divine messenger has arisen. What have to be said have been said. What more do we need to say in the face of old age, illness, death, and the wandering ascetic?

May all be well, happy, and peaceful.

Bow

Ying

A final goodbye became a long goodbye

Shared by Ming Yang on October 10, 2012

A final goodbye became a long goodbye. After Steve’s memorial service, there were many voices, all laden with that desolating sense of having all along ignored: what a fine person he was.

 

I am very thankful that I had a chance to meet him this August. I’d invited him to give a series of three speeches at the Tuesday’s Mom’s Class five years ago. When the news of his illness came out, some of the members in the class wanted me to express their gratitude for his generosity. Steve was quite touched and he wanted to meet us. Along with three other ladies, we chose MBS as a location to chat and I thought he belonged there.

 

The first moment I saw him with that usual hunched back, settled with his signature smiling face, I wanted to hug him. He said, “Can I only hug you with my left arm? My right sleeve was just washed as it was entirely stained by my bowels when I went to the bathroom.” His tumor was too big at his neck which limited his mobility. Still at ease, plain, honest and simple, and these were the attributes I have always known about Steve.

His voice was soft and weak during the twenty minutes of our conversation. We helped him carry food we had prepared for him to his car. As we walked to the parking lot, I sensed that his illness totally deprived him of his previous vitality; I forced myself to say something which I would have regretted not saying then. I told him that he was the sweetest and the softest male person I had ever seen in MBS. He paused a little, with tears in his eyes. Upon remembering this image that once had appeared to Steve, I smiled to myself that I finally had a chance to show my appreciation to him.

 

Steve chose a much better way to handle the end-game: to die serenely, with dignity. By refusing to get the chemo at the later stage of his cancer, he clearly showed us that he never wanted to become a burden to anyone, not even to Heather and Joy. Only a brave man with an enormous amount of capacity for love knew that to prolong the inevitable would only bring much suffering. His strengths are our weaknesses; to see him fully is to see ourselves honestly. Through this passage, I gained my own maturity.

 

Now, I finally realize that the proper translation of the colloquial for "呆呆的好人" would be “an awkward-but-simple-and-loving good guy".

 

Words from Steven's co-worker

Shared by C.K. Cheng on October 9, 2012

Michel Laudes, Director of Engineering, also Steven's indirect manager, delivered a poetic speech at Steven's memorial service. With his permission, I am posting the text below. Steven has showned us, the meaning of work could be larger than the work itself.



Family of Steven, friends, colleagues:

 

I will say a few words, both personally and on behalf of Steven's friends and colleagues at Oracle.

 

The first time I saw Steven was in a meeting at work a few years ago. It was a time of great pressure and challenge for us. Steven appeared calm and at ease with the situation. I seem to remember he smiled. I later learned that Steven, though he had only joined his team a short while ago, had taken on a challenging task and his work would be critical for us at Sun and Oracle to deliver the largest design we had done up until that time. Clearly Steven was a very accomplished engineer with a deep and broad understanding of the technologies that we use, and strong experience and skills honed at several successful companies. But there was another dimension to him, one that I saw that day, and that his colleagues spoke often about these last few days as we were reminiscing. Steven had a philosophy at work of simply seeking to help others. When colleagues speak about him they use words like “wise” and “inspiring”. They speak of his selflessness and willingness to take on any task, his trustworthiness and cheerful attitude, in addition to his skill and technical excellence. This has struck me and has remained in my mind.

 

I spoke with Steven a few months ago, very shortly after he had learned he was not well. He was very serene and I distinctly remember that he smiled often. With great clarity, and wisdom, he had decided how to face illness and how to live his life. He wanted to live normally, he wanted to work, and he would maintain his general health with simple means : diet and exercise and meditation. He was at peace. He wanted to be sensitive to other people's feelings and would appear and act the same as he always did. I saw on that day Steven's exceptional inner strength. This conversation has stayed with me since and I have thought of it often.

 

I spoke with him and saw him several times after that day, the last time a few weeks ago. I learned from him that he had been doing volunteer work at a hospice, demonstrating to an immeasurable degree the qualities of compassion and kindness that we also saw at work. He mentioned how important his family was to him, and he spoke about spending time this summer with his daughter, whom he was very proud of. I saw throughout this time that he did succeed as he intended in maintaining his quality of life, drawing from sources of mental strength that appeared to me to be boundless and inexhaustible.  And I remember that he smiled every time I saw him. These interactions have left a deep mark.

 

Here my own words begin to fail me and I want to borrow the words of a poet from a distant age. I translate and quote:  “We are but creatures for a day. What is a person? What is a person not? Man is but a dream of a shadow ”. We all know this and it is a truth we all face. Steven faced it with great clarity and grace. But we also know that this is not all there is to be said about life. The poet continues :  “But when the light comes to us from on high, a great brightness is amongst us, and a good life can be ours”*. I believe Steven found this light and he cast its brightness around him. He spoke to me of having lived a good life. He was able to teach others some of what he had found, he was able to inspire others and he was able to derive strength and clarity from it to handle a daunting condition with ease and grace and joyfulness. This is my lasting memory of him.

 

[To his family]

We miss Steven greatly, we miss his spirit, the warmth of his smile, his joyful presence. He taught us many valuable things, about our work, and more importantly about life, and we were privileged to have him amongst us. His passing has diminished us, yet we are finding solace in remembering and reminiscing about our time together. 

We share in your grief. Please accept these few words as a token of our feelings. 

 

Thank you.

 

The friend, the path, and the moments in life

Shared by Ying Chen on October 6, 2012

The friend

 When Gil Fronsdal asked the dharma practice day participants to think about how we related the eight-fold path to ourselves, I sat for a few moments. One of the words that arose in my mind was “friend”. Following that thought was Steven’s face. My heart contracted a little. As the image and thoughts faded away, I feel a sense of peace and ease. I know that Steven would be happy if he knew that mindfulness is with us at this moment here and now.

The path

Steven is a dharma friend to many. For me, he’s especially a dear one, even though we are not personally close by any measure. We shared a lot of similarity in our dharma path. From schooling in Illinois to taking refuge under Venerable Jiru, from an engineering life to a sweet little family, from MBS classes and talks to MLA retreats, we shared a path that made us stronger and happier.

 Over the past 14 years, dharma has taken roots inside us. In my eyes, Steven became increasingly humble, gentle, generous, selfless, happy, and wise. He’s a big brother I look up to. I truly miss him when he left us.

The moments in life

Steven, in his own ways, once again, urged us how important for us to live the moments in life fully and mindfully. As one dharma practitioner put yesterday in the dharma practice day – “The eight fold path isn’t a path that will lead us to something magic at the end of the path. Rather, it is the moment-by-moment mindfulness along the way that will make a difference in our lives. Our job is to reduce the gap between each consecutive mindfulness moments by walking the path. “

 

 May all be well, happy, and peaceful.

Bow

Ying

Shared by Chialun Chang on October 6, 2012

Steve and I have never been close. In the beginning he wasn't my friend, he was my teacher. He, Teresa, Alan and many others (you know who you are) taught me the fundamentals of Buddhism, for which I'll always be grateful. Then we became friends, but I only saw him once in a while, at a Buddhism event or in our classroom at MBS. I've never been to his house and he'd never been to mine. We never played golf together or went to a movie. I don't even know if he played golf. (I don't.) We wrote many emails to each other, but I don't remember if we ever spoke on the phone.

I don't know a lot of details of Steve's life, but in this case I think perhaps not knowing the details might be an advantage. Details are sometimes confusing, obscuring the Big Picture. An artist famous for painting portraits once said he'd sometimes take off his eyeglasses when he paints. He is sightly nearsighted, and taking the glasses off enables him to see less details. Go and take out a yearbook from high school, he advises. Take a look at the class picture, the group picture. Everybody's face is so small, maybe the size of a fingernail, but you recognize your best friends right away. Why? Because even at such a low resolution the essence of a person's face is perfectly captured in the photograph. That's what you need to focus on when you paint a person's face, the essence, not the details.

To me, a pupil and a not-so-close friend, Steve's essence can be boiled down to something very simple, something fundamental: his extraordinary kindness. Steve was ever so patient with whatever questions I might have. He really listened, even when what I said didn't make a whole lot of sense. I think this came from his respect to others and his curiosity. We both like films, and often we'd veer away from Buddhism and started talking about movies we liked. I remember these moments vividly and I would treasure them forever. Sometimes when I mustered enough courage to ask a question about Buddhism, I often got the (possibly incorrect) feeling that the teacher was sitting high up on a pedestal and couldn't hear me clearly. I got the sense that the teacher waited patiently for me to stop talking so he could resume his lesson. It's almost like hitting the pause and resume button on a CD player. Not so with Steve. I always got the feeling that Steve would meet me halfway, ask me questions and try to make sure he understood what I was babbling on and on about.

In the end, I realize that I have forgotten a lot of the Buddhist words of wisdom Steve had said to me. But the real lesson he taught me wasn't what he said, it's how he said it. It's his curiosity in you, his always trying to adapt your terminology when he tried to explain something, his tremendous humility. This is what I remember the most, and I shall remember it for the rest of my life. That and his signature laugh. Steve loved to pepper his emails with an emoticon XD, a cross-eyed open-mouthed laugh. Thank you, Steve, rest in peace. And don't walk too fast, I'm right behind ya! XD

Shared by Thomas Yin on October 6, 2012

From: 從金閣寺到法源寺  曉峰

   

關於這樣的一個凡夫俗子陳曉峰

一個沒有心的錫人,一隻沒有勇氣的獅子,一個沒有腦的稻草人,和一趟找尋家的旅途,是綠野仙蹤(The Wizard of Oz) 的故事,也確是他追尋生命意義的紀錄,在緣起、無我、空無自性的真理裡,他看到回家的路;也找到真心、勇氣、智慧與真正安心之所。不用神奇的紅鞋,沒有戲劇化的驚艷,原來不求回償的愛,就是通往自在解脫的捷徑,「自是不歸歸便得,故鄉風月有誰爭」。

In celebration of life for Steven Chen

Shared by Teresa Cheng on October 5, 2012

In Memory of Steven Hsiaofeng Chen

12/13/1961 - 9/30/2012

 


"In a spiritual journey, one may figure out eventually that

WHERE we are going is not important, but

HOW we get there, with whom and what,  is ..."


Please join us at a memorial service to celebrate and remember the life of Steven Hsiaofeng Chen (陳曉峰).

DATE:
Sunday, October 7, 2012

TIME:
10:00-11:00 AM

LOCATION:
Lima Family Santa Clara Mortuary
466 North Winchester Boulevard
Santa Clara, CA 95050
408-296-6085

REMARK:
Please, no flowers or gifts of any kind.
You are welcome to make a donation in memory of Steven to Doctors Without Borders online or at the service. 

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