This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Thais Lavalais. We will remember her forever.
Thais B. Lavalais, age 50, passed away peacefully at her home on Wednesday, August 13, 2014 surrounded by family in Baton Rouge, La.
Thais was born in New Orleans, La on September 11, 1963 to the late James Albert and Thais Sazon Butler. She graduated from Mount Carmel Academy in New Orleans and obtained certification as a surgical technologist. After moving to Baton Rouge, she received both Bachelors and Masters Degrees in nursing from Southern University. Thais worked as a nurse and the director of surgical technology training programs at Our Lady of the Lake Hospital in Baton Rouge and as an instructor at Delgado Community College. She then accepted a teaching positon at Southern University School of Nursing and later as nurse educator at Ochsner Health System in Baton Rouge. She also worked at both Earl K. Long Hospital and Baton Rouge General Hospital.
She was a devoted mother of Michael and Enjoli Marchand and fiancé of Donald Fort. She is also survived by brothers James, Sr. (Joycelyn), Terrance, Sr. (Paulette) and Irby Butler as well as numerous nieces, nephews and relatives.
Visitation will be Friday, August 22, 2014 at 9:00 am and funeral service at 10:00 am at United Christian Faith Ministries, 9229 North Ridgewood Drive, Baton Rouge, La 70814, conducted by pastor Mark Ellis. Burial will be held at Providence Memorial Park and Mausoleum, 8200 Airline Drive, Metairie, La 70003.
Celebration of life immediately following burial at United Christian Faith Ministries, 9229 North Ridgewood Drive, Baton Rouge, La 70814.
Winnfield Funeral Home
7221 Plank Road, Baton Rouge, La 70811
Tributes
Leave a tribute"Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His saints! ~Psalm 116:15
I met Thais around 2006 or 2007 at Southern University when she was adjunct faculty. From that very first meeting, the thing that I most cherished about Thais and the thing I will miss the most is her sense of humor! Often times it wasn't even what she said but how she said it that would have you laughing and crying at the same time. Those who knew her know exactly what I mean, that voice and off guard sarcasm would get you every time! I would often find myself laughing late at night at something she had said or a story shared earlier in the day, her humor was not only memorable it was therapeutic!
Michael and Enjoli, she was one proud mama! She took every opportunity to talk about the two of you, often telling me that my son and daughter because of their age difference reminded her of the two of you. She was proud of what you had accomplished but she was more proud of who you were as people, often stressing how the two of you took care of each other. Praying that our Father continues to bless you with pleasant memories to comfort you and remind you of her specialness:~)!
Wendell and Geralyn Baker.
We had so many adventures during my time at LSU. I can't even begin to count the number of times you picked me up on the weekends and we would go to your house and have cooking experiments and watch movies all night. You became my mother and looked out for me like I had always been yours. I watched you fight a long, hard battle, but you never gave up. And even when I couldn't keep it together, you encouraged me to be strong. I was always so amazed at how you never lost your wit and how you always kept me laughing despite everything you were going through. You'll never know how much I learned from you. I'm so grateful to have had you in my life...for all of the time we spent together, all of the laughs we shared, and I thank you so much for challenging me to be a better person, follow my dreams, and never sell myself short. I'll even miss all of our mini-debates about everything lol that always ended with you saying "hush little girl, I know what I'm talkin' about." I never doubted your love for me, and I know you loved me as much as I loved you. I will always love you and miss you. And no matter how old I get, I will always be your Baby Cess.
Words can not describe how much it hurts that you have left us, but you were a light that shined so brightly in the lives of so many. You always made me feel so loved and you were definately my second mom. Your presence, warm heart and beautiful smile will be missed. Rest well Ms. Thais
Love Always
Jonetta
Hey Mama
I know you are not speaking or responding right now but you are still here and I know you can hear us. I wanted to say these things to you in person and maybe I still will be able to but I am asking Enji to tell you for me just in case. I want to tell you I think you are so beautiful and amazing. I have told you so many times but I just wanted to say I love you once more. I dont know who I will marry but I hope my mother in law will be exactly like you. In the short time I knew you, you were always honest with me even when it hurt. I love you even more for that. I want to bring Chase to sing feres jacques for you again, to hold your hand and say I love you Gigi. If I dont make it to you in time know that I will never, ever, ever say goodbye because you will always be in my heart and in my head. I will carry your lessons with me always and teach chase the small but powerful things you taught me. Thank you for being an example of love, christianity, and stregnth. I am going to Jamaica in October and you and me have a date on the beach.
Love always
Tish
It seems just like yesterday we were talking in your office at Southern getting caught up on things. Since 2004 you have always been a special woman in my life. Thank you for all you did. All the talks and all the advice you have given me. You raised 2 great children Mike and Enji that are just like my siblings as well. Thank you for raising all 11 of us back in our A Phi A college days at LSU. Thank you for just being you. You were one of the sweetest people i knew and you will always be in my heart. God truly has one of his angels in heaven with him.
Love you forever and ever,
Mond
I thank God for allowing us to cross paths through your beautiful daughter, Enjoli.You have opened your heart and home to me on several occasions. Though im sad to see you depart from us in the physical world, I do celebrate your arrival to the spiritual world. You deserve the rest for you have fought a great fight. We will miss you dearly. I love you!!!
I love you
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Beating Cancer - April 17, 2014
Four years of college, four years of medical school and three years of residency training yet despite our best efforts as physicians there are some things that we can never capture through books, lectures, demonstrations or practice. Six year after medical school and 2 years after residency training when I thought I already knew everything I needed to know about the disease Thais Lavalais taught me how to beat cancer.
The first time person I diagnosed with cancer was a young woman who was weeks away from her wedding. She ended up getting married in the hospital and she sent me a post it later telling me “thank you for saving my life” I placed it above my desk at work to always be reminded the importance of going the extra mile. I left that job not long after and began practicing urgent care. Practicing urgent care I no longer came in to contact regularly with people being screened for cancer and I certainly wasn’t a cancer specialist. Nevertheless, when I received a call one evening from a friend asking for direction with his mothers breast cancer recurrence I knew enough to point them in the right direction. I made a few calls, helped them set up an appointment and my work was done. Shortly thereafter, he called so she could thank me personally. I heard fear in her voice and it made me want to help her in any way that I could. Ultimately she was not my patient but from that moment on I was on her team.
Over the months that followed I would see Ms Lavalais battle every possible complication of her disease. These complications you may not be familiar with but I will share with you when these things happen individually your chances are slim, when they happen all at once while you are already battling a deadly disease the outlook is grim. That’s what I was taught in medical school, but what I witnessed was completely different. The first time we met she lay in a hospital bed with a breathing tube. At that time, the last time I was in the ICU I was the doctor managing the patients. Half of the patients that walked unto the ICU floor never left. I didn’t want her to be there. I couldn’t talk to her but if I could I wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. My family rarely encountered medical problems and there wasn’t a class on being a good support system in medical school. We were only taught how to break bad news. In my mind I thought this is bad, but it is not my place to break the news. So I just sat quietly with her family. That was my first unspoken lesson from Ms Lavalais, Just be still. In life it is very easy to get so caught up in the day to day routine that we forget to spend time and appreciate our loved ones. To touch them, talk to them and just tell them you love them “just because”. I would only spend a day with her at the hospital on my first visit but I had already been changed for the better.
The next time I met Ms Lavalais she was wide awake and the breathing tube had been removed from her throat. She spoke softly but with power. When she spoke everyone around listened. Shortly after I would learn why. Ms Lavalais, a Registered Nurse and Southern University Nurse Educator, was revered amongst the nursing staff as one of the best Nurse educators in the Oschner Health System and in the state of Louisiana. I was able to observe her teaching skills as during my visits as she would kindly ask the nurses “did you ask the patients pain level before giving the medication?” referring to herself in third person. The nurse taking care of her would quickly make a point of correcting their mistake. I sat there and thought to myself “do you ask?”. Often times as physicians we take for granted that we know what is best for the patient. We give patients the options for treatment but deep down we think we know what the right decision would be when in actuality the only right decision is what the patient wants. When they offered Ms Lavalais a feeding tube she refused and she was eating ribs a week later. When they offered her hospice her family refused and she is sitting at home in good spirits today. When I worked in customer service many years ago rule number one was the customer is always right. There was no exception. No one said in medical school the patient is always right. We are taught even if a patient refuses treatment you can ask an ethics board to pursue treatment, you can ask psychiatry to deem them incompetent to make decision or you can convince the family its in their best interest and get them to approve it. We spend years in school and training so we can know the best way to manage and treat but it is equally important to understand when to manage and treat. From my view point the doctors had given up on her. She wanted to fight and they could only see the low probability of survival. Despite the fact the odds were not in her favor, she never gave up on herself and her family never did either. She taught me another lesson through her survival. Never trust the odds.
As I write this story Ms Lavalais is probably at church praising God for her many blessings. For now, she is not able to walk and she has difficulty seeing but I can tell you she still smiles the most beautiful, genuine, angelic smile despite her journey. Someone else in her situation might question God or blame God but she thanks and praises HIM still. I cant tell you the date she was first diagnosed, how many rounds of chemo she endured or how much radiation she with stood but I can tell you she is the epitome of strength, hope and endurance. She was recently awarded the Clinical Educator of the Year award for the Oshner Health system but I understand now her teaching goes far beyond nursing and medicine. Whenever I visit her there are always a handful of people by her side whether family, friends, coworkers or students. I know why we all keep coming. Because even in her most frail state she gives us more than we give her, through her energy, her laughter and her constant testimony.
You may never meet her, and you may never read about her in Essence or Ebony but I humbly share with a small part of a long journey of a Great and God fearing woman who beat cancer. Physically the doctors say its still there, and some days they even say the cancer is growing. What I have witnessed and what I know is God is greater, and as long as she lives she will continue to change lives. I continue to be blessed by her presence and I will forever be a better physician because she is a part of my life. Although I refer to her formally in this article in everyday life I call her “Mama”. I have a 3 year old son and the first time she met him her daughter, Enjoli asked what should he call her, and she replied “GiGi”. In Louisiana I learned that’s a term for grandmother. My mother at the time was working two jobs and living many states away. I always wanted Chase, my son, to be closer to his grandmother as I grew up very closely with mine. Without knowing any of that she stepped in and with the smallest gesture filled a void in our lives. The final lesson I will share with you, that through her actions Mama shared with me is this; we can give flowers, cards or candy, but sometimes the best gift you can give a person suffering is just being there for them and filling a need before they even know they need it. If you are battling cancer remember the treatment for cancer is not always in a bottle, an IV or a surgical knife. You beat cancer when you keep on living. You beat cancer when no matter how many days they say you have remaining you choose to live each one to the fullest. You beat cancer with love.
Be blessed.
Tish