I just walked past your chair,and for the first time I smelled your body and it made me I love and miss you baby. I thank you for giving me lasting memories of our love ❤ ♥

I noticed no one leaves a tribute to you darling no one but mickey and I. Not your family, your son, lequan or any of the kids we raised together I don't expect them to grieve and miss you as I do but they could at least just post their names in honor of your memory, but its okay I can deal with that now. I still want to leave this city and start anew somewhere where I know no one and meet new people. I would like to leave magical POOF!!! I'm gone and no one can ever find me lol I am beginning to enjoy of just being alone in our home. I don't need no one but GOD and our dear mickey of course. I've isolated myself from all chaos even when they try to involve me . You told me this many many times but I didn't listen, but now I got my listening ears on and you're no longer with me. I'll soon be 78 yrs young lol and I await my time to leave peacefully 

The summer is coming up dad and I said to myself something just don't feel right you are not here anymore I like when I come over to the house and you would be sitting on the porch and then you would always ask did I bring you anything and then I would go get your ice water then we would sit on the porch and talk I miss those days they were special to me I had to cry for a minute but God said you are stronger than that I had to pick myself up love and miss you always

This morning was a great morning darling. Our Tavion has given me so much love, I cried happy tears for the first time since you have been gone, I feel a renewing in life that things are going to be better. I thank GOD for him for placing him in my life. I want to cry now but with happy tears. I pray that GOD let me I've long enough to see where GOD leads him in his journey thru life. I know he was your favorite grandson 

I miss you baby. Ever since you left all I do is sit here and cry most of the time I miss miss miss you. I'm going to move to Cleveland by October. I think the move is best for me and I know you would agree with me I've been thru so much would gave up long time ago but GOD kept telling me in my heart to hold on a little bit longer I can't stay here anymore too many memories , and of course family drama and broken promise I just want to be happy once more but staying here is not good for me.

Our LOVE will never die, we will always be in LOVE regardless ❤

Redd will I ever smile again? I'm trying darling. It feel as if everyone has forgotten you, except for our loving mickey. She hurting with the missing you. I got to get myself together, I think of you 24/7 sometimes I even laugh at some of our precious memories. GOD z still wraps his arms of comfort around me

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU DARLING ❤ ♥  

Valentines day was hard  didn't want to see or hear HAPPY VALENTINES from anyone. I miss you so much honey my nights are so long and my days too short. I'm all by myself now I cried for 2 days, sometimes I have good days, but you're on my mind 24/7. I know we all have to make that transition and when GOD calls I will surely answer 

Just sitting saying that I need one of our talks today it's almost summer time and you love sitting on the porch getting ready to write your numbers down and telling someone to sneak you some candy I remember when were little you would give us some money to go to the ice cream truck and get me one I miss those days I wish I could go back in time

Not good day for me darling   just thinking of you and my heart begins to hurt then here comes those darn tears. But I'm going to be okay honey just having one of those days.

Sitting here listening to the blues I remember you trying to move those feet the holidays just ain't the same anymore because you are not there anymore I can't watch the game with you we can't have our talks anymore sometimes I miss those talks I just wish I could turn back the hands of time it's like every time I walk past your room or chair I see you dad then I want to cry but the good Lord always tell me you are better than that stay strong

I'll never get over missing you I think of you 24/7 missing you so very much. Yes darling I'm crying , I know you don't like to see tears in my eyes but my heart gets so heavy I just can't keep them away. I wish I could have hug you longer. Laughed longer and had you with me much longer. GOD keeps me grounded with his comfort.  I didn't know it would HURT so very much

I almost gave up darling, but GOD BLESSED me to go on . I miss you soooooo much 

I'm so tired and sick of being not feeling well. I miss you so very badly sometimes I just want to give up on life. I have no friends or family cares or love me. But I'm good with that. I'm very depressed and I just want to be left alone no talking, no visit just leave me alone. I was very sick recently but I didn't go to hospital. I love you so very much darling, but I'm getting tired 

Redd I'm not feeling well at all. Terrible head cold no smell or taste. The minute I got this my thoughts went straight to you darling, I said I'm glad you're not here because I wouldn't want you to get sick. I'm still putting you first. Redd I've finally decided to cut ties with some family and friends because I want peace in my life once more. Nobody knows or cares what I'm going thru everyday without you, but that's okay one day I will have that eternal peace and sleep. I don't know what GOD has planned or in store for me. But I know he will see me thru. Your family no longer talk to me but I'm good with that. I don't miss their convo at all. There is so much I wish I could talk to you about, but can't. But as you already know I carry all to GOD in prayer and he sustains me love you darling and miss you so much. I pray that when GOD calls my name he will allow me to feel your loving arms around me

I miss you baby my heart is so broken   will I ever smile again? I hope you're happy and smiling . I ran across some old pictures of us today , and I believe that maybe you directed me to them. I am so confused darling another holiday without the one I love

Was listening to the song I hope you're dancing in the sky. And of course I started to cry  these holidays are so hard on me darling. I just want to get thru these holidays. Mackey will be coming home for the holiday and I'm looking forward to see her. Redd the tears are falling down my cheeks I can hardly see. I'm hurting so bad . I can hear you in my heart trying to comfort me, you never liked to see me with tears in my eyes so I'm going to try to pull it together I LOVE you so very much darling and miss you very much

Christmas is going to be hard for me because I almost ordered you a gift but the good Lord told me I got you in my heart and soul for life l really don't like walking pass your room because I would see you sitting on the end of the bed saying good morning baby that's why it took me so long to get up when I was there I wish I could turn back the hands of times every day I miss you so so much when I came back that Monday I just went into the bathroom and cried I knew it was because I was missing you dad you never know how much you miss a person until they are gone but I will always carry you in my heart and soul for life

Here I am again darling. Its still difficult for me. I'm still going thru trials and tribulations, without you   but thank GOD For loving me and giving me the comfort my heart desires. I manage to get thru the holiday with difficult. Redd sometimes I hear you in my thoughts and it seem as if you're trying to guide me. Still no one has offered to help financially, but the spirit of JESUS CHRIST tells me to hold on a little while longer. I enjoyed our daughter Mickey she came home for the holiday and it was good to have her by my side, she is the only one that has helped me and I could never pay her back she misses you so very much. I will continue to love you always and forever more ❤

I look for you daily and it breaks my heart when you're not here

Redd I pray that GOD allows me to see you once I've transition lm ready to be in place where there is no more death, tears, or heartache, just joy unspeakable joy

I WISH I HUGGED YOU A LITTLE LONGER THAT DAY, NOT KNOWING IT WAS MY LAST HUG AND KISS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY honey I just couldn't come and say these words to you yesterday because I wasn't very good and I try to be strong and not cry, but somehow these tears find the way down my eyes. So I put on a happy face and pretend I'm doing well when I'm actually falling apart inside. You are the only one who understands what I'm induring the constant battle I face daily. I don't want to hear anyone telling me to be strong, or other cliches I just want to grieve for you as long as I want, no one will ever understand the LOVE that we have for one another. I'm going to see what I can do to get some help with the house and help with the bills. I'm trying so hard to hang on to our home, but sometimes I gotta do what's best for me  we worked very hard to buy are home and keep the memories but I'm so tired my soul is tired. Sorry I couldn't be more positive on your birthday but please continue to love me darling . Its nobody but me and GOD now and we constantly talk. Yep! Redd I see that big smile on your face. Love you forever and beyond ever ❤  ♥

Why can't we talk each other like we are sisters and brothers you didn't raise us like that or did our mom why can't we all pitch in and help the first lady out don't say what you are going to do just do it did my mom and dad have a plan when they raised six kids no with no help dad me and mom might have ours ups and downs but that's not going to make me stop loving them two of them said that you are not my dad but you will always be my dad until the good Lord calls me home and that will always be my mom no matter what and I don't care who doesn't like it you will always have a place in my heart and soul

Redd I'm having a very hard time this morning I never thought we would be apart. How could you just leave me like this without a warning, what am I to do, what what what what please darling tell me how I'm suppose to live without you 

I'm so depressed , I try to be strong but it's too hard to do without you darling. I sit in the den just waiting for death to come. I'm not afraid I'm just soul tired of family, and people in general. But I've put up a good fight to sustain. But I'm tired and I can feel my body shutting down slowly. I've talked and prayed to GOD and he tells me to hold on a little longer and that he sees and knows what I'm going thru because he's been right there by my side. So I try to hold on a little more. Redd I miss you sooooo much no one BUT GOD can love me as much as you loved me tears are swelling up in my eyes now and
I got that funny hurt in my heart. Whenever I meet you again I'm trying our bodies together so we can never separated again nothing matters anymore

Redd I'm having a very hard time this past few days, im in a very deep depression and I'm scared what am I to do?

I'm confused baby, punkin paid for a trip to Georgia, but the day of the trip everything that could go wrong did. Up until our arrival at the airport. They couldn't find reservations nor conformation even they were baffled trip was paid for, so they just refunded her money. Then I returned home and thought about the turn of events and started thanking GOD for his intervention. GOD TRULY LOVES ME. And he's to wise of GOD. to make mistakes. This morning wasn't as bad but I made it thru with GODS GRACE AND MERCY AMEN

I'm having a tidal wave today totally loss I'll never be the same without you  no one will ever love me like you darling, I thank GOD for blessing me with you and your strong love for me. I know you have always told me that I'm a strong woman, but I was only strong because I knew you had my back. Now I'm just going thru life by myself I hate pity parties, but lately I've been having these private pity parties

Hi Honey just wanted to talk a little bit with you. Knees are better. Redd I miss you so much. Not a day goes by, or an hour that you are not on my mind and heart ♥ now I'm crying again I try so hard to be norm but it's difficult 

Well darling another day without you I changed the sink pipes couldn't get anyone's help .. made 3 trips to Menard, I know if you were here you would help me. No one but mickey and punkin truly care. I cried so much yesterday because my knees were hurting bad from getting under the sink had a very bad leak. But you know what darling I could hear you telling me take your time and stop crying you can do this so I prayed and ask JESUS to guide me and he did just that I gave him so much praise and thanks. I'm a little under the weather today but I'll be okay as long as you keep whispering in my ear. Love you darling

I just been thinking about the way we treat each other and we suppose to be family and you all claimed my dad showed you all how to take care of family then why can't you all help the 1st lady out at 6833 south Honre people y'all ain't no good my dad Theodric Redd didn't raise us like that to turn our backs on each other I don't want to get to preaching because tears is coming down my eyes as I write this it just sad how we do each other

Yesterday was one year without you I only made it thru the GRACE OF GOD I prayed for his DIVINE COMFORT and he gave it to me, GOD put me in a peaceful nap for a couple hours of much needed rest. Haven't slept well at all. When I awaken yesterday my heart was so heavy  but I cried out loud for GOD TO strengthen me and he answered my prayers and I thank and praise GOD ❤ I even slept for about 5hrs that's the GOD we serve isn't it? Redd I love and miss you so badly that sometimes I struggle just to put one feet in front of the other. I try harder every day because I know you would tell me DIANE YOU'RE A STRONG WOMAN. ILOVE LOVE LOVE YOU DARLING

JESUS give me STRENGTH. Redd Redd help me please my heart is crumbling. I have no one, no one tell me what to do.

Wednesday will be one year that you left me now I must do something that will break my heart ❤  I have tried darling but I can't do this without you  my soul is tired and my spirit is fading rapidly I can hardly see the key board because of these tears 

The 1st year is approaching fast baby boy. I don't know how I'm going to make it but I know that GOD IS MY COMFORT, I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face. No one cares anymore, no one but our mickey, she has been there for me thru all of these sad days. She has helped me financially many times. My GRIEF is overwhelming today. I hope you're happy darling David moved and in a way its a blessing, because he no longer can use and abuse our kindness. But I know GOD is gonna fix it. I can hear you telling me EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT!! I can't believe it will be a year without you I'm so very depressed tears come down my face sometimes unknowingly. I'm going to try to keep pushing til GOD gives me enternal death. But until that day just know you are the best thing next to GOD that ever happen to me ❤❤❤

Why can't we find more men in this world like you dad you where a stand up man and I will tell anybody that just listening to dance with my father it's just like I see you everytime I listen to that song I can't write to much because I will start to cry but I will love you until the day we meet again and dad keep watching over mom please never let her go love you for a life time until we meet again

I miss the talks we use to have and when the basketball games would come on and you would get mad when I would pick the wrong team I miss those days

REDD I AM A HORRIBLE MESS TODAY. WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO??!!

This is my first birthday without you and I'm missing you honey, I'm so incomplete because of you. I don't enjoy holidays anymore. Redd, Redd I'm so miserable. JESUS give me comfort 

Yes baby the tears are flowing this morning I try so hard to hold back the tears but sometimes they creep out the corners of my eyes unknown. I put on a good face to everyone because what I don't want is their pity and tell me it will be better, yes perhaps someday it may get better, but for now I can only take one day at a time

Here i am again honey, I need to talk to you my life has been so upside down, more problems than I dare to handle, how am I suppose to live without you, we didn't make plans on this. GOD really has his hands full wiping my weeping eyes. I cry happy tears sometimes thinking of our fantastic memories and you laughing at me saying Diane you're something to tell the captain about I will always forever and ever love you my darling ❤

I'm having a YOU day. I can't describe my hurt feelings lm doing my best darling but I so confused. I miss and love you so much darling  you're on my mind 24/7 . The tears will never stop flowing. I hope you're happy darling. I dreamed of you but I can't ever remember the dream  

Just thinking about my dad how you would be sitting on the porch in the summer time waiting for your lottery to get played you got me playing scratch off I wish you where still here so we can have our talks o I wish I could turn back the hands of time you will always be in my heart and soul until the good Lord calls me home

My soul is hurting could not sleep at all last nite. I don't know what to do honey, im so bewildered and lost I want to leave and not look back I'm sick of family  they still try to use me. I am going in prayer with GOD and pray that he guide and show me the way.I thank GOD for his comfort and divine LOVE. GOD is the only one who truly loves me and understands I THANK GOD for blessing me with a awesome husband and friend.

Well darling another 1st holiday without you I'm trying so hard to live without you LORD JESUS HAVE MERCY ON ME. GOD wrap me in loving arms of comfort in JESUS NAME I pray. I'M having a major tidal wave no one understands 

My heart is broken, I have no one in my corner, people are trying to take advantage of me using me. I'm so tired every thing we spoke about has manifested itself to me, especially David im at the end of my rope with him, yes darling you were right my brother used us in his selfish way of life. Today I stood up and declare no more free rides. I hope you will be proud of me. It was hard making this decision without you  I think will be ready when GOD give me my external sleep and heavenly peace from GOD the FATHER

You have been on my mind and heart all day I'm so lost, so very lost

I found myself listening to the blues and I don't even like that kind of music I said that ain't nothing but my dad got me listening to that music and one day I was taking out the trash and a butter fly land on my shoulder I said that's my dad if I ever had a son I would want him to be just like my dad I want to get a tattoo but I am scared it's going to hurt I want to get my dad and my brother name on my right arm