My brother

Shared by Loren Green on August 11, 2019
Its been  a Good  while  since  you left  me bud but the tears I have wiped since you left we could  swim In like we use to at Tilliery  I think about  you almost  every  day i have lost almost everything  since you  left  your suicide  hurt me to the core and I looked up to you like big brother  and you just left poof god dam it !!!! It hurt me made me do things that effected me in some of the worst  possible ways .   but I would not  change  my time with you  for nothing  in the world  I still think of the Christmas  we spent together on the island  at Tillery  with our lightning up the sky burning  Christmas  Tree  and both of us feeling at peace with the world  but losing  you really affected  me in the worst possible  ways and took me years to  get  things back on track anyone  reading  this please  know that suicide  is not the answer the effect  on your family  and friends  is horrific and it's real in the here and now .I see how older people  know when things happen  like when persimmons  are ripe cause I will  forever forever know that it's about a week and half before  Todd left  .I hated you for a while cause I felt like you took the easy route  out but  ......now I'm just glad to have  been  so close  and  that  will last me a life time  The last time we talked you said hey you remember  that song put a candle  in the window  by CCR and you know I did  but it means so much more to me now and just to let you know bud I'm still here still your  friend  not going no place  I wanna  take you back 1990 something  who really cares cause it was you that taught  me to live in the moment  we was walking  on the beach  just drank a pitcher at Swells of long island ice tea and stopped Burrhead from getting his ass kicked by a college  student  cause he was talking shit to a lady we left walked up the beach you threw your arm around  me and said shut your eyes man listen to the seagulls  hear the ocean  feel the sand in your toes feel the wind  smell the suntan  lotion  feel the hair on our backs............you learnt me to live in the moment  and I love you for that  I miss you and I'm forever mad you left me  I have a beautiful 4 year old that will never meet you  and that hurt I'm Myron L.Green I'm Todd W.Horbers friend and  that will never change Last thing  you  ever said to me was love ya brother  and it's still  there friend  I love ya bud ..........

I Miss My FriEND

Shared by Penny Kennedy on November 27, 2018

I miss Todd so very much this time of year and not a day goes by when he doesn't cross my mind.  I get so mad at him...b/c...so many people loved him and would have helped him!  Ironically enough my brother in law (Randy W. Baxter) had rode his H-D to Albemarle to check on Todd and was knocking on his door at approximately the same time of his death.  Randy, had felt inclined to go because Todd had went by to see him and called him the day before to confide in Randy and Randy knew he didn't sound like his usual self and had a gut-feeling to go check on him. Todd was so strong mentally and physically and had overcame so many obstacles and barriers.  He confided and cried to me a lot about events that had transpired in his life and like most of us didn't have a traditional family life.  However, he rose above it all and put his self through college and earned his degree.  He was a very determined individual when he set his mind on something...like loving me.  When I saw him for the first time & our eyes met...there was this mesmerizing attraction...i guess could be described by the lyrics of a song..." &, i want to sleep with you in the dessert tonight with a billion stars all around,"...or...another song..."the first time i ever saw you...you had a smile that would light up the room and those far away eyes that first drew me in...well, could you just see right through me then & I don't care who's wrong or who's right or if it's too late to stay up all night."  I saw right through his beautiful brown eyes and right into his beautiful heart & I loved what i saw...inside and out.  He was so loving and genuinely good-hearted.  He wanted to take care of me and protect me.  Even after we broke up, he was constantly checking on me & if he heard something about me that worried him...I'd be getting a phone call or a knock on my door to be informed of his concerns.  He was my soulmate & part of me died with him.  I catch myself crying often (like I am now)  when he pops in my mind & he stays on it a lot (the last cd he made me had the song "You were always on my mind," by:  Willie Nelson on it) like all my other friends and family (Laurie Martindale & Sherry Greene Horner) who all made my life and this world a happier and better place.  We are going to the sweet by and by but we are in the bitter now and now.  I am so grateful to have known and loved them all.  Todd was my very first boyfriend and endless love and of all the times I was mad at him especially one Farmer's Day when he was dancing with other girls...I could slap him then...but...I can't now...but...if I could get my hands on him...lol...I would hug him and apologize for all the arguments we had over nothing in the big scope of things.  One of my best friends told me one time...there are probably more people that love each other that are not together than there are people who love each other and are together.  I thought how sad and true.  I miss my Christmas card he never neglected to mail me and him...I just miss him.  I loved you Todd and still do.  


Shared by Ellen Kennedy Rogers on May 23, 2013
Todd was the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on .He had the most beautiful black hair that had a shine you could see yourself in his eyes had sparkle that could that made you smile lift your spirit when you needed it. Todd liked to play all the time As a infant he would set for long periods of time playing with his little feet and twirling his fingers through his curly black hair while he watched his favorite cartons. Todd was the baby you did not want to leave when it was time for him to go home and you could hardly Waite for him to come back . I only knew as a baby but those memories with him will always be in my heart .when I was informed of Todd's passing my memories of him as a baby raced through my mind and my heart sank to my feet. Todd when I get to heaven I will know you by the smile you wear on your face and those and the sparkle in those big brown eyes. For ever in my heart you aunt Ellen kennedy rogers

where you going

Shared by Myron Green on August 27, 2011

no  words can explain how hard this hits me he use to say just listen, listen ,where you gonna be Myron ?he'd say  really where we gonna be ?still at the crossroads not me he'd say .........................I will always remember our time .As I said earlier I have had a very hard time with this. I heard a quote today that touched me to tears cause it is what I have got to do .........................Remembering your going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to loose . We are all already naked before and in the end ,there is no reason not to follow your heart.each and everyday if only to see a little boy smile it's your heart follow it trust it.it's you.. ..........................the rivers always meets the sea .............................love ya brother

Time

Shared by Myron Green on August 27, 2011

I want to share,and talk about our good times .But  just being honest I have almost lost it, over the past months it's not been good.I looked up to you more than you knew .I have went over every conversation we ever had in my sleep, driving, working whatever I was doing on the outside people who knew me, knew I was hurting and hiding it.I had a tornado going on in side.From being mad, to lost, to just hurt .Time will heal wounds I know but you will always be close to my heart.Joy ,Matthew ,Daniel if you ever want to hear some of our crazy stories call me come see me .Daniel I hugged your Mama's neck and made her a promise and I plan on keeping it ,But it's so amazing how much Todd rubbed off on you ,me and you have got to show Matthew how special he is just being Todd Horners son .I can see him in you so much ,don't ever forget his laugh, his walk,don't ever forget how hard he worked for you to have a better life and just be a kid and play,He told me one time when, him and your mama had just started dating  well ya'll had moved in Tom's old place he said I wish Daniel had somewhere to run and not worry about cars or Neighbors shooting,and trash,and  the gas in the water he always thought the old gas tanks was leaking into the  well  .I mean he just wanted you to have better .And you was probley tickled pink and happy  .That was a defining time for Todd and me with a newborn we knew we could better ourselves and we would . We had some serious talks in the Garage/workshop in front of the house ,he told me months before ya'll moved he had to .He really just wanted you to have better than he did.Do you realize the love that all these moves, and changes to his life took  and he didn't think twice remember remember remember and share everything you can with your brother .As we sat out in the garage/shack one evening he played a song and ask me where would I be Ten years after where would he be .We was both still  trying to make things better for our family's that's just one way Todd Horner made me a better man and still is.........love ya brother ..call me Daniel

Happy Birthday Todd

Shared by Cathy Brown on August 10, 2011

Remembering you on your birthday! You will NEVER be forgotten. We loved you so much and really miss you any time the family is together. You were always such a joy to be around.  Happy Birthday in Heaven Todd!

 

Happy Birthday

Shared by Joy Horner on August 9, 2011

40 this year...I miss you.

Matthew can play the Birthday song on the piano this yr.

Holidays

Shared by Joy Horner on December 18, 2010

Well, my dear Thanksgiving has come and gone and it is now Christmas time. It is hard to think without you. I miss you so much! I have a million memories that I could share with the kids.

You were the one that always carved the turkey and said the Thanksgiving Day prayer. This year without you was hard. I told Daniel about our first Thanksgiving Day together when you said we should just do whatever. You decided we would go to a restaurant to eat and we drove around for hours. It was such a pretty day out and we had a great time. In the end, we went home and cooked a canned ham, which we did not know that even though they are pre-cooked they take several hours to recook so our mac-n-cheese was cold by the time the ham was partly warm. We all just laughed, ate, and were so happy. 

I will never forget my first big turkey I cooked. It was partially frozen when I stuffed him and although I thought there were more inside parts bagged inside it I got what I found, stuffed, and cooked him. It was when you started to carve it that you found the rest of the bagged gizzards,heart,etc..in the neck with the stuffing. You and Mema laughed at me and I was so embarrassed. I will never forget and you never forget to pick on me. We always laughed about that.  We sure have enjoyed our family cookouts and holiday meals.

I think back to our first Christmas together..We were living with Kerry B. at the time and you and Daniel went out and cut down a tree so that we would have one.(It was more of a branch than a tree)We decorated it and went shopping together (Like we did every Christmas after.) You had really started to enjoy the holidays and the last three years we all went outside and decorated. You always made everything outside look nice and it would hold up throughout the cold and windy holiday time. What I miss the most is how we were always together; shopping, decorating, reading the Christmas Story every year, and the prayers for our family that you always prayed.

I can feel you here and I know with all my heart that you loved me and the boys. We put up the Christmas Tree and I can just see you sitting there in your recliner drinking your glass of tea and telling us how pretty it is........

Shared by Myron Green on November 28, 2010

I wish I knew how many times we listened to this

The last thing you said to me was

Shared by Myron Green on November 27, 2010

I lived with you,Made music with you,I was fourteen years old when I met you everybody was drinking nasty cheap Vodka at the little trailer on a normal Friday night 12 to 15  people .The next morning you found me on the couch and I was a little scared of this guy I mean you didn't know me  I didn't know  you You ask me did I sleep good I said yeah ,and with the look only you could give you said " yeah I bet so" .I got on up walked outside thinking I might need to get  my ass back to Jocko's and you came out the door and said come on let's go just get in, so I did we talked a little I don't remember where we even went to but I ended up staying all weekend  with you that Sunday you said something to me I will never forget.In your James Comer impression you did so well you said "I don't understand you ,when we got stuff (as in beer liquor and ect.ect.)your here. but then your here when we don't got nothing either splitting cigarettes and counting change YOU MIGHT JUST BE ALRIGHT "Hell I didn't want anybody to see me smile at what he said but I was smiling on the inside I mean it didn't get any cooler than Todd Horner Over the years since that we had some of the greatest times of my life I really could right a book .I mean when will I ever in my lifetime ride to the beach in a 19 foot Buick sitting beside a dog name Dozer that's wearing a Led Zeppelin Shirt and Sunglasses and loving it............. I was there when you had your son and in turn you was there for me .I could go on and on and I will but I'm writing these things down to hopefully help me with this . Nothing has ever hurt me like this I am also writing to you Matthew I realize there is alot of things I can't help you with. But telling you about my REAL friend TODD W HORNER ain't one of them I looked up to him ,I loved him,And the last thing HE said to me was" I love ya brother" and he meant it So kept checking here buddy all I can do is tell you the crazy times we had and it helps me to let out .............love ya brother......

ALWAYS GLAD TO SEE HIM

Shared by Penny Kennedy on November 27, 2010

I (Penny), posted this "on behalf" of My Daddy, "Phillip I. Kennedy"  (Phil).

 

"Todd", used to "go with"  my "Middle Girl", Penny Lynn.  But, He was like "Family", to us ALL!!! 

"Todd", was a "Good-Hearted" person. . . He'd help you out, if you got in a "Tough Spot"!

. . ."I",   was out "drinking" a little. . . and ran my "ole' Nova" in "a ditch" ,  "oh somewheres"  around 3 or 4 in the morning.  I had to go and get Todd, to drive the "ole' wrecker" , from the "junk yard", and pull me out of the ditch.

"Yea", . . . "Todd" was "ALWAYS" the "Same", every time I saw him.  He'd stop by every "now and again",  (even after, Penny & Him)  had "Parted Ways".  " I " ,  was "ALWAYS GLAD TO SEE HIM".

"Todd", will always be "Special" to ME, and now, I'll just leave it BE.

 

This is what my daddy, "Phillip I. Kennedy" (Phil), wanted to say about "Todd".  Daddy, can't read or write to good, and asked me (Penny) to post this for him.  I have typed exactly, "Word for Word". . .what he said.

 

Good Times With Matthew & Dad

Shared by Joy Horner on November 18, 2010

Each night dad would say, "Brush your teeth and say a prayer.."

Friday 10/29- We went over to Mike and Lucy's to eat. They feed us chicken stew and it was good. Matthew played the keyboard for Mike and dad. We had a good day.

Thursday 10/28- Dad, mom, and Matthew rode the golf cart to pick persimons. Dad would shake them off the tree and we would pick them up and put them in a bag. Matthew and Todd even threw a few at each other. That was a really orange mess!!We had fun.

Wednesday 10/27- Dad and Matthew went for a bike ride around the dirt bike track behind the house. We had a great time riding up and down the hilly jumps. Our bikes got so muddy. (One time before Dad & Matthew rode bikes all the way to Walmart/ Lowes and back.)

Daddy was so good at so many things, but one of our favorites was snuggle time at night. We would get in the snuggler, watch a movie, and fall asleep.

Written by Joy for Matthew..

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Todd is always Todd

Shared by Tara Maness Ritter on November 14, 2010

Well i went to school with Todd from K to Graduation. Lots of memories, of him always being himself. The most memorable one is in high school going through drivers ed together. Well it was my turn to drive and nervous as a bat but Todd was like a pro. Probably been driving for 10 yrs. lol. I was driving and Todd in the back, we can to a bridge and all of a sudden, the drivers ed teacher took the wheel and swivered on the other side of the road. Todd jumps up toward the front seat and looked at the teacher and said, "What the ____ are you doing, trying to kill us."  Oh the teacher was not too happy about that, but Todd was not going to take any junk off him or anybody else. By the way we both passed drivers ed. After that i gained lots of respect for him, was scared of him for a long time, just the bad boy image, but inside the sweetest person. Music he loved music. AC/DC and Kiss were two that i remember that he loved. When he passed he took a lil piece of each one of the class of 89 with him. He touched each one of us in a different way and he will be missed by the entire class.

Shared by Wendy Lambert on November 10, 2010

This is me and my big brother. We had so much fun that day at the B-day party. We even got caught in a rainstorm on the way home. We where both soaked from riding the bike. I miss him so much.

Shared by Cathy Brown on November 9, 2010

This picture was taken at Holden Beach. The boys with Todd are Michael Brown, Phillip Brown, Daniel Kennedy and Ryan Brown on Todd's shoulders. These boys are all grown now but  will always remember that beach trip. Todd's Memaw "May Kennedy" carried this group of boys to the beach for a week.

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