ForeverMissed
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Letting go

April 27, 2014
Texd Adams Brother, today, the eve of my Birthday.
Pain and tears today, then received a tex, Adam or at least a part of his Ashes were set free to the Sea in Dorset along with his Fathers, who passed away June 2013, same year. God Bless you dearest Gabby.xxx John.., Well done to Mark ,Adams, brother. he kept to what Adam wanted. Spring to be set free, our Birthdays, and memories .   Adam never leaves me,  maybe he will now?
I hate this pain, but i wouldn't have it any other way, because our love was real, two minds over 300 miles away , connected. wow. They say shit happens... Yes ... in love and couldn't bare to be apart, yet phone kept us together, from opening our eyes, to sleeping. When we were together Adam  was   so happy. It wasn't always easy, life isn't !  and my mans illness was always there , yet he hid it so well. Anyway this is a good day...Adams final wish was his ashes come to my house , and he's coming home..
I understand  you need to be free of your illness...im so sad that i couldn't fight that demon in his head, the most beautiful human being i have ever met, your bravery, selflessness towards me and my kids. Adam  you fought so hard, yes the illness won...but did it <>????  you said..i have no choice, you did what you felt was right, that's courage, sadness, desperation xxx but the illness got you,   now it counts for nothing because your  your at peace. XX     we will always remember you and that love in our hearts remains Karen,  Taylor and Adam  .xxxx   .I know you adored your daughter , I am so sorry you felt let down by your family , the services I called , let you down, they left you at the worst possible time , My fight for mental health support begins , awareness needed ,   Gone too soon, always remembered , love forever Karen and Family xxx (killed self _whilst mentally unbalanced >>>> Government help Mental  Health awareness needed ....etc ...now my battle begins !.

 

March 28, 2014
Adam was born in the Isle of White, the middle child, he had two brothers, and fineally grew up in Kent, he went to catering college and qualified, age 28 he had a daughter, sadley he didnt get to see much of her, but stayed in her life for 21 years..  Adam moved with his parents to Dorset, he had worked in variouse establishments as Head Chef, a very stressful job which contributed to Adams ill health, Adam did get married after a 7 year relationship, but this was very short lived. Adam met my father, and was very kind to him, when my dad passed away Adam was a great source of comfort to me, even though his life was very sad and humble. I met Adam in 2010, we had spoken on the phone during 2008, when my father and brother had passed away , after spending well over a year on the phone, it became clear we had feelings for each other. Our romance was long distant, thankfully we managed free calls and was together day and night , we commuted, he took the train and we had so many happy simple moments. Our love of music and having a dance, our love of cooking, animals, fishing, simple pleasures that created so much laughter. Adam was amazing for telling jokes, he was loud vibrant, funny, yet quite shy, yet he had to be strong to the rest of the world.   Adam would talk to anybody, he loved elderly people, and anyone who met Adam felt so loved. The day he took me fishing, i caught more than him on my first try !!  the Valentines meal he cooked was so amazing, expensive and very creative, i had never seen so much of the ocean on one plate !! The bundles of flowers he would buy me, the things he planted for me, the times at the pub when we just held hands. Adams illness struck, and help was too slow. This gentle gient will never be forgotten, his music is a reminder, he described his youth as amazing, he had no regrets, he loved to party and go to bike shows, and gigs. Adam was a calmer person when i met him, we shared so much together, he said. I have been smashed up mate, and so have you, but i will put us back together again,   he wanted to marry me, it was just hard to move so soon when you have children in Exams and education, but that  was the plan.. Adams love for me was real, i miss him   and feeling safe with my very tall man. My heart is broken, but his love is still with me. Adam had so much to cope with in one year, emotional pain from years ago, then he lost his dear Father,  sadly Adams illness came back,  his letter to me is so loving, and i am glad we had the chance to say...I love you a couple of days prior, i will never understand why his medication got stopped ? , seeing the empty flat that i decorated for him, seeing his things, our little flat so empty, coming home on my own,  missing my man, i don't think that will ever go,   just want to say Thank you Adam, you Faught your illness well, a man of courage and determination, a broken man, yet we had a lot of life crammed into almost 6 years....We were inseparable on the phone , he would phone me from the minute he opened his eyes, even during the night.  That is True special Love.   God bless you always  I  love you ,Miss you, and pray we meet again in heaven or anywhere,  thats what you said to me... two days before you died....  well Adam.... DITTO !! , love your  Karen xxxxxxx

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