ForeverMissed
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His Life

Tribute to Alex - Rob Redcay

August 11, 2020
Alex lived according to the simple rule: he wasn’t going to spend any time doing something he didn’t want to do. This sounds like a pithy goal many of us would espouse but, when push comes to shove, most of us will choose what is expected of us instead of what we want. Not Alex. To a degree, this rule was at work his whole life but it crystallized into a nearly religious ethos about 10 years ago. Alex was fully committed to this and arranged his life around this concept. It required him to become extraordinarily handy, clever, and adaptable. Fortunately, these were his fortes.


For all of Alex’s life, he indulged his curiosities and interests like nobody else. He built terrariums and filled them with plants, insects and reptiles. He obsessed over every minor and major release or Apple hardware and software. He dug through thrift stores to discover old records, ironic t-shirts, and useful gadgets. He turned in every homework assignment designed as if it were the feature of a hip magazine -- spending hours on the layout and graphics to accompany the otherwise drab assignment. In New York, he turned his mother’s old Volvo wagon into an unrecognizable, matte orange european custom. He did all the work (even some painting) himself parked on 15th st. in front of his co-op in Chelsea. He resurrected cheap mopeds and turned them into his primary mode of transit in New York winters. He taught himself to code and configure network systems and configured all manner of funny software, VOIP systems, animations, electronic music, spoof websites, and the list goes on and on.


Alex’s other great interest was people. He cared and thought deeply about the people in his life. He had surprisingly-strong advice to offer his friends on their careers, love lives, and family matters. “You really shouldn’t put her in the public school” he might say in his best aristocratic impression. Even beyond his close friends, Alex was fascinated by all the minor players on his stage too. Before reality TV shows were popular, Alex saw his whole world as a reality show on which he was offering the juiciest commentary. Alex would even imagine details about the family and personal life of anybody who caught his interest. “He’s probably at home with that German father doing math tutoring 12 hours a day” he might comment about a quiet German student. “She’s been the prettiest and most popular cheerleader and now has no idea what she’s doing here” he might imagine about a glum looking young woman in a cafe. Alex even invented his own characters. There was “Amber” who wore “sody pop braces” and was always battling her overbearing mother who’d shout, “Amber! Git over here!”


Alex was gifted beyond comparison in intelligence, creativity, and the enigmatic qualities of leadership and charisma. His longtime friend, Megan Healy said, “I would have happily followed Alex off a cliff. He was my whole world for years.” There were dozens of others who felt the same way. Alex was a force of nature and those around him were along for the ride. Had he wanted to, Alex could have been a star in any creative field. Alex was a strong student who sailed through highschool at Poly and then graduated a year early from NYU thanks to the advanced placement credits he had picked up at Poly. After college, Alex worked as the manager of an architecture firm, in the tech wing of an advertising agency, and, most recently, in marketing and events for an outdoor apparel company. All the while, Alex collected more friends and interests.

Above all else, Alex was fun. To be around Alex was to be smiling and laughing -- sometimes sheepishly, but laughing nonetheless. Alex would make trips to the hardware store feel like an exciting journey to a distant land. One of Alex’s friends, Joseph Janus, said, “I had to involve Alex in everything I did in my life because his genius always made it better.” Alex’s very close friends, Todd and Candice Barker, said “We invited Alex to every major social event in our lives because he made every one of them better. We can’t imagine him not being there in the future.”