I was fortunate to volunteer with Alfred in the boatbuilding shop at Norwalk Maritime Aquarium for a few years before the shop was closed.  One day, we were painting a very old boat that we had restored, and Alfred said something to the effect that "I don't think I'll bother with the undersides of the seats".  I said "You can't not paint the undersides, just because they will not be seen."  Whereupon Alfred said "You remind me of my Dad!  Many years ago, I (Alfred) was helping my father paint a closet, and I did not paint the bottoms of the shelves.  My father remonstrated with me, saying that the bottoms still needed to be painted, as the wood had to be protected."

Tim White, who ran the boat shop, overheard this exchange and would from henceforth introduce Alfred to people as "Alfred" and me as "Alfred's Dad", despite that fact that I trailed Alfred by about 21 years! 

Over the last 20+ years that Malvina and I have been married, Celine and Alfred had come to visit us at least once a year.  And for me every visit brought surprises in one way or another - fortunately almost always good.  And along with every visit came 'the request'!  - Now normally, a request from your father-in-law would be dreaded.  Thoughts in the back of your mind would think, what have I done wrong now!  But 'the request' was always the same.  "What can I do" to help?  Really!  That's it!  Normally the request would be channeled through Malvina - sometimes she'd have knives to sharpen, or a door knob to adjust but if she couldn' t think of anything she'd have him ask me.  Now in reality, it was a lot of work for me to find the appropriate tools that he requested to do the job - and he'd remind me of what tools he needed if he thought I'd forgotten about them or took too long to get them.  Sometimes it would be inconvenient for me to put everything else aside to gather the tools.  But  always, always, always, I'd remember his intentions.  And for me, intentions are all that matters in this world. And for that I'll always thank him and miss him..  

In 1984, I was a very young and inexperienced lawyer. For reasons only known to Alfred and Celine, they asked me to take a look at some of their planning needs. That first meeting developed into a 30 year friendship of love and admiration for a couple who I often think of as poster children for that special bond that only a few marriages cultivate to perfection. And their kids are pretty neat, too.

When Celine passed, Alfred found some comfort in their Rowayton garden. My husband, Magnus ("Bud")  and I offered to help a bit with clean up as we fancied ourselves as gardeners and we enjoyed being with Alfred. There was always something life-affirming about being with Alfred. We always left Pennoyer Street feeling as if we were getting the best end of the visit!  I will never forget the look on Alfred's face when I "pruned" the clematis growing alongside the shed. I checked with "organic gardening.com" to make sure that I was doing what was appropriate to clear the flowering vine for its Spring visit. The article said : "It's the confusing advice about pruning that deters so many people from growing clematis. But take heart: "You cannot kill a clematis by pruning it, and there is no wrong time," says Linda Beutler, curator of the Rogerson Clematis Collection in West Linn, Oregon, and author of Gardening with Clematis. "The worst that will happen is that your clematis will bloom later than normal." No, Ms. Beutler, the worst thing that will happen is that you manage to KILL Alfred and Celine's 50 year old clematis. Alfred still spoke with me, but enlisted others to aid with the garden.

Just before Alfred moved to be with Malvina and Tom in Indiana, he permitted a garden raid unlike any other. We took whatever our helpers could carry in their pick up truck. I dug up everything imaginable and transplanted all to our New Canaan home and our Catskill farm. Alfred and Celine will always be with us, and I have a special smile reserved for the alliums that Alfred brought to me to brighten my office day one September, years ago. Those alliums bloom now in my garden, and are pictured this site. Before Alfred came along, the allium were called "purple spikey things".  I miss my friend. I am honored to have the opportunity to try to keep his garden legacy.