Can't believe it's been 10 years since you left. You and Dad are always on my thought. Your pictures on my desk so I see you everyday. I know you and Dad always watching over us. Miss you alot. Love always.

اين دهمين سالگرد جدايي ماست. تقريبا هم بيست سال از فوت بابا ميگذره. ماهم كه ديگه ميريم ايران. جا و مكان مشخصي هم كه ديگه نداريم. خلاصه همه چي با رفتتنتون خالي شد. نميدونم ديگه چي بگم. وقت ماهم بزودي ميرسه. ميبوسمت.

Maman Joon Salam another year without being able to talk and see your smile. Miss your voice. Glad that I still have your voice message on my phone and time to time I listen to it. Last spring I was in Iran and I was happy to be able to make it where you rest and visit you. Things are different now we don't have a home there anymore and feels very strange going there and not having a home. I miss the old house and even the apartments you lived for few years. Even our old neighborhood is different LAL sharghi. Not sure when I get to come back and visit you but you are always on my mind and think about you and dad. Watch over us I know you are and till next year. Love you

مامان جون سلام. ميگن نه سال شده ولي انگار ديروز بود. مثل اينكه ديگه ابدي شده بي خود منتظر نباشيم. از وقتي كه شما وقتي همه فاميل هم از هم پاشيد و كسي همديگه رو نميبينه. امسال هم يكي از اخرين يادگاري شما رو كه همون اپارتمان باشه فروختيم. چه فايده. كسي نيست ديگه. زرند هنوز هست ولي تا كي هنوز معلوم نيست.  اون هم لابد ميره. وضع كشور هم از اون سال ها بدتر شده و ماهم اميدي به برگشت نداريم. لابد بابا رو ميبيني سلام برسون. چند روز ديگه تولدمه و پسر كوچولوتون ميشه هفتاد سالش. هميشه ٢٦ دي زنگ ميزدي. تا سال بعد عزيزم❤️

مامان عزيز سلام. چند سال شده؟ حسابش ديگه از دستم دررفته. سطوري كه پارسال نوشتم هنوز پابرجاست. ولي يواش يواش داريم زندگي رو جمع ميكنيم. هرچي منتظر شديم كه نيمومدي. ديگه داريم نا اميد ميشيم. امسال اپارتمان و فروختيم. از زندگي شما ديگه چيزي نمونده. فقط زرنده كه اونجاهم كسي ديگه نميره و چندسال ديگه لابد اونهم از دست ميره. چكار كنيم. كسي ديگه نمونده. لعل شرقي رو هم از توش رد شديم و جلوي در خونه وايساديم. اين ديگه اون كوچه نيست. امسال سرنوشت مارو به همون بيمارستااني كه روزهاي اخر عمر تو گذراندي برد. حالا ما مريض بوديم. بالاخره ميرسيم بهم. دوستت دارم

بيژن

Salam maman. Another year without you and not being able to talk to you. You are always on my mind. I listen to your voicemails you left me often. I wish I could give you a big hug. I want you to know everything is good and having a happy life. Wish you were around. I know you and dad watching over us. love you always.

مامان جون اين روزي نيست كه ما هرگز فراموش كنيم. هميشه با علي صحبتتون هست. زندگيمون عوض شد و ديگه به حال قبلش برنگشت. كي ميگه زمان همه زخم هارو التيام ميده. هرگز. بدتر هم ميكنه. كاش يكروز ديگه پيش ما مونده بوديد. چه عجله اي بود. . زتدگي كه كه پيش ما گذاشتند حفظ شده. فقط دلخوشي ما اينه. به اميد ديدار

Salam maman joon. Another year gone but feels like yesterday. Miss you very much like always. unfortunately wasn't able to come visit you these past years hopefully this year. Your memories are always with me and I know you and dad looking out for us from heaven. Love you always.

Miss you more every year. It's been 3 years since I made a visit last. The only thing that makes me come to Iran is to visit where you rest. This year if everything goes as plan will visit you and dad.

مامان جون وعده ملاقاتمون دو مرتبه رسيد. همش فكر ميكنم زندگي ات چطور ميبرد تو اين شش ساله. اپارتمان كه شش ساله خاليه. فقط حظورت تو اون خونه زندگي اورده بود. حميد ديروز رفت سر خاك چندتا عكس برامون فرستاد. هرسال همين كارو ميكنه. دستش درد نكنه. اوضاع ايران هم از سالي كه مارو گذاشتي رفتي خيلي بد تر شده. بعيد نيست ماهم نتونيم بياييم يواش يواش. تا خدا چي بخواد

Miss you maman...

Salam maman 5 years has passed since you left us. Not a day goes by that you and baba are not on my mind. I was looking at one of my favorite picture of yours in our old house and I realized how much I miss you and everything in that house. Everything changed since we sold that house. Anyway I just want to tell you I m doing good and am happy. I know you were worried about me with all the stuff that was going on in my life at the time. Everything worked out for the better. I only wish you still were around so all of us be together. Yadet hamishe zendeh hast. You will never be forgotten. Love you

Salam Maman joon, the world keeps turning and doesn't stop for any of us. It's now 5 years since that fateful day in January. The 11th day of every month is a special day for me, not just January. Last year we lost a lot of friends and family. Many who you knew and loved greatly have passed. Nobody from your generation is now living. Everything that you and Baba left behind is still here. One of these days we'll figure out what to do with them. Last year was the first year in a long time that I didn't go back. It's beginning. Without you and Baba there are fewer and fewer reasons to go back. Love you Maman.

I was going to say it's like yesterday, but it isn't. It feels sooo long ago. Every once in a while I come across something you had; a pair of shoes, a piece of paper, a cellphone, or pictures that randomly pop up on the computer. Not much else has changed. I am just 4 years closer to being with you again.

This is the 4th year since you left us. I m still heart broken that I didn't get to say goodbye. Everyday I wish I could talk to you and get your advice and opinions on things happening in my life like I used to do. But I feel you are watching over me. Also I wish you had met Mojgan I m sure you would love her. Love you always

Three years have passed and there is not a day that I don't think of you. It now looks like the emptiness you left in my life will never be filled. I just have to wait to see you again. I am sure that day will come. Rest in peace, mother.

It's been 3 years to the day since you left us. I miss you everyday and wish I could talk to you about everything. I used to call you everyday on my way to work and that was my best time of the day. I know you and dad looking over us. I really miss you.

Its been two years to the day that she left us. It feels like an eternity and just yesterday at the same time. I am still hoping this is all just a bad dream and she will walk in through the door.

Here is a link to the slide show honoring and remembering her life. We showed it at her anniversary.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/415093/Maman-Display.m4v

Today marks exactly one year and one month since her passing. For her anniversary, I, Ali and Shervin traveled to Iran. I got a lot of support by Shervin being there with us. We held her anniversary at her home in Tehran exactly one month ago today. We invited everyone who knew her and cared for her. I made every effort to find former friends whom we had lost track of. It was sad that I had to use her own phone book to invite people to her anniversary. More than 45 people showed up. It was a memorable night. This was perhaps the last event we will ever hold for her. There is nothing I can do for her anymore. All we are left with are some pictures, and memories. All I can say is Rest in Peace Mom. Just know that I still can't believe you are gone.

I am at a loss for words to describe how I felt over the last week of my mother’s life at the hospital. When I came across this passage I knew I could not do better.
 
I held her hand, I stroked her hair and wiped her eyes, wanting so much for them to open and see, that I was alone there in the world, one last time I kissed your face and held your hand to touch my cheek. I wanted to carry you away from there. Whispered her goodbye, and the last breath as I watched her die…..And I walked away - my heart now broken. How could they know that I was dying inside?