Dearest Saathi Amita,
In the aftermath of your unexpectedly cruel and shocking passing away during childbirth I struggled for days to find the appropriate words to express my condolences to the family and friends you left behind. Finally today after over a month I have managed to gather some memories of the limited time we shared together to hand over to your loved ones as they are surely yearning to capture every single memory of your precious time on earth to soothe their aching hearts.
Although we were together in high school, I shall not falsely claim to have been one of your "best friends", that coveted spot is cherished by others. However, meeting you after over a decade I was struck by how throughout all those years you had managed to preserve your warmth of nature and candidness. There wasn't a bitter cloud in sight to mar your sunny countenance and you shone through like bright sunshine. We did occasionally bump into each other as people in a small city like Kathmandu are bound to do and you were always bright and cheerful as usual.
Then one day you called me at work saying you were expecting your second child and wanted to get your ultrasound done by me. I couldn't have been more thrilled to hear from you. You walked in for the USG full of life, unrestrainedly sharing your joy and concerns and sweeping me up into the magnitude of your big heart. I shall always remember the look of awe and unadulterated love on your face as you stared at the grey and white images on screen while I introduced you to your unborn child. Once your son grows up enough to understand I hope that he shall know by this post of mine that his mother did indeed "see" him before he was born and loved him at first sight. She marvelled at your structure, laughed at your antics and was even worried you may be hungry when she saw you sucking your thumb, which I reassured her was probably more for comfort. She loved you with all her heart before you were even born. As for your elder sister, I could tell by the beaming look on your mother's face whenever she talked of her "chhori" that she was the center of her Universe.
After that 22 weeks scan, you disappeared from my radar and I suppose we both got busy with our own lives. I often wondered how your pregnancy was progressing and hoped to hear your chirpy voice again. Unfortunately, when you did eventually call me about a week before the unfortunate turn of events I was on sick leave with a bout of acute bronchitis. You were worried about your daughter's recurrent stomachaches and asked if I did ultrasounds of children and if I would do her ultrasound once I was back at work. Once I got better and texted you on the 27th, you wrote back saying your Cesarean operation was scheduled for the next morning."But will visit you for my daughter n let you know before coming," your last few words to me that I have still saved.
The whole of the next day I waited and waited for news of your delivery and even checked facebook a few times to see if anyone had posted anything as I wanted to come and visit you. Late at night I opened facebook once again and my heart pounded and my mind simply could not comprehend what I was reading. It still does not feel real. Dear Amita, you slipped through like grains of sand from our fingers. I wonder if only I hadn't been sick that week, if only I had questioned your choice of place of delivery more strongly when you told me, if only we could turn back time and somehow save your sparkling soul. Alas, it was not to be and you lived your life like a whirlwind and then were gone. I shall always always remember you my friend and hope your family and friends find the strength to carry on with you nestled warm in their hearts.
Hundreds of people walk in and out to get their ultrasounds done, but even the staff at the hospital were shocked to hear of your untimely demise, you were that special saathi, you touched the lives of everyone who ever had the good fortune to meet you. Once things settle down, I hope to see your chhori for her ultrasound to fulfil my last promise to you. Here is celebrating the life you led and cherishing the amazing memories you created along the way, till we meet again...