Dear Pat,
Margie joins me, on behalf of our class, in expressing our sincere condolences and deepest sympathy to you, Khoi, and actually, to all of us as well, the Class of ’65, since we’re part of Tony’s family. We all feel a deep sense of loss of our dear classmate and friend, Tony. It was Tony and Pat who held our class together for so many years; they initiated the tradition of our yearly get-togethers, a tradition we will carry on in Tony’s name. He would be really ticked if we didn’t continue to meet.
How does one describe Tony: caring; selfless; enthusiastic; inquisitive; generous; uncommonly humble; really, really smart. If we had to describe Tony in one word, it would be mensch; Tony was a real mensch.
Tony had a heck of an academic career, and was a real big shot in his field. He was a member of distinguished professional societies, including being elected to the American Society of Clinical Investigation while only in his 30’s. That’s a big deal. I’m pretty certain no one else in our class is a member, since our class was considered by the faculty to be………..well……….you know.
Among his many awards, Tony received the Belding Scribner Award from the American Society of Nephrology (that’s kidney, for you retirees who forgot everything from med school), the highest honor of that Society. That’s like the Academy Award for kidneys. Big stuff. In addition, Tony published zillions of scientific articles, and continued to publish until now—yes, now!! I actually tried to read a few of them, and they seemed like a bunch of hocus-pocus. He used words I never heard of, like “transport mechanisms,’ or “chloride channels,”….whatever. Seemed like a lot of silliness. I guess the reviewers didn’t think so. When I asked Tony if all of those articles were really necessary, he smiled. Oh, classmates, how we loved to see Tony smile in recent years. He couldn’t move or breathe, but he could, and would, smile. And that sure would make us smile along with him. How we’ll miss that.
Tony received the UCSF Alumnus of the Year award about 15 years ago. In our minds who should have received it for every year.
Tony and I, along with Stu Davidson and The Falcon (Jerry Levenson) were roommates in our second year; we paid $35/each, and each of us had our own room. Tony studied constantly, and his ash tray was always filled with cigarette butts from unfiltered Pell Mells. The rest of us smoked filtered cigarettes. Unfiltered cigarettes! Tony was a stud! Going into his room was like walking through a smoke screen. I went into his room a lot, since I needed help so often; and Tony would interrupt whatever he was doing, and help me. He did that with everyone. He was so generous with his time. Always patient, and never, ever cross.
We played softball at Funston that 2nd year. We occasionally double-dated, until he met Pat, and then we didn’t see much of him after that. I think Pat was rooming with Willa, and then added Tony. They got married in 1964 ( I was privileged to be able to attend) and Pat has provided continual loving care and support of Tony for 54 years.
Sometime during our 2nd year Tony approached me and told me he liked the way I tied my necktie (yep, students wore ties in the early 60’s, and in the late 60’s brought their dogs to class), and asked me to tie his. That was the beginning, and you know the rest.
How did Tony manage all these years? It was Pat; and Khoi Nguyen and other caregivers and physicians, including Tung Nguyen and Tony’s indefatigueable (is that a word?) determination and spirit. I’d like to think he also felt the love from all of us; I know he did, since it was obvious how much we loved Tony, and of course Pat.
I know Pat is grateful to our honorary classmate Khoi, and all of Tony’s other caregivers, as are we, the Class of ’65. Pat and Khoi, and to all of us, please accept our sincere condolences. See you in May, at our yearly reunion.
Pete
PS: I’m so sorry for not being here today. On the other hand, I don’t think I could have gotten thru this without stumbling (that means crying).
***Written by Peter Singer, MD and Leopold Avallone, MD
--posted by Pat Sebastian