August 21, 2023
August 21, 2023
And here we are, another year down this road on a trip no one wants to take. I can't believe we haven't seen you or spoken to you, in 12 years. Twelve fucking years, Artie.
They say it get easier - no it doesn't. You are still gone. The feeling of loss does not decrease with time, and it actually gets enhanced from the distance since you were last alive. One of life's special fuckerys is how bad I want to talk to you about your own death. Same with Matt. I just think finally knowing your death date would be mindblowing, as well as your cause of death. Just to trip on all of it with you is something I've wanted so badly since the day you died, but have to live with knowing it will never be possible. Like I said, a life fuckery.
I spend a lot of time in my head, with many hours sitting in utter silence. I would hear you if you tried to talk to me, Artie. I truly don't believe there is anything beyond death, and if there is, we will wish there wasn't. I hope I'm wrong. Talk to me, Arthur.
I love you.
They say it get easier - no it doesn't. You are still gone. The feeling of loss does not decrease with time, and it actually gets enhanced from the distance since you were last alive. One of life's special fuckerys is how bad I want to talk to you about your own death. Same with Matt. I just think finally knowing your death date would be mindblowing, as well as your cause of death. Just to trip on all of it with you is something I've wanted so badly since the day you died, but have to live with knowing it will never be possible. Like I said, a life fuckery.
I spend a lot of time in my head, with many hours sitting in utter silence. I would hear you if you tried to talk to me, Artie. I truly don't believe there is anything beyond death, and if there is, we will wish there wasn't. I hope I'm wrong. Talk to me, Arthur.
I love you.