Today is the first anniversary of the passing of my beloved Barbara. I have come to the point of dreading firsts. First wedding anniversary, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, and now the painful first of being a year without Barb. They say that time heals wounds, but i find time is just a recurring reminder of what I have lost.
I spent two thirds of my adult life with this incredible woman. She was the yin to my yang. She kept me grounded in a semi-fractious life. No matter the stresses and adverse tests that life threw at us, she was always there, side-by-side to create with me a synergy of emotional strength to deal with the negative issues of life.
The pain has changed to a numbness, but every day there are triggers and cues that constantly remind me of my loss. Morning coffee for one, glancing at the front door in the afternoons expecting her to come home from work, watching T.V. and commenting on the show to an empty room, and worst of all, retiring at night to an empty bed.
I know in time I will adapt and try to get on with life. I have solid supports from our children and a small circle of friends. I know this posting is dark and negative, but today of all days is not a milestone, but a continuing reminder of loss.
Never, ever take life for granted. Take measure of every moment of every day. Create the memories of life together, because in time that is all you will have left as a personal measure of your own life.
Barbara A. Mozingo
"Gone, But Never Forgotten"
The Love of my Life.
Bill