December 27, 2023
December 27, 2023
I miss beautiful Betty. It doesn’t seem it’s been almost 4 years. Betty and Frank, my best clients!
May 18, 2021
May 18, 2021
Mom, I pray you are now together with Frank now that he left us on Sunday.
September 1, 2020
September 1, 2020
Bettie was my first cousiin, her mom, was the sister of my father, Eldon G. Cook I am forever thankful I knew her and her husband Frank. I always admired their family and their lives in our nations service.
July 24, 2020
July 24, 2020
Bettie was a cheerful, intelligent, and dedicated person whom I met when I worked as a Research Assistant for Frank. Her personality was a shot of adrenaline for everyone.
March 2, 2020
March 2, 2020
Bettie and Frank moved to our neighborhood in Durham and immediately were interested in being a part of all the activities. They both helped me create a holiday pillow from a needlepoint kit, and Frank did much of the sewing. Bettie joined our Neighbors' Club and loved to hear everyone's news, adding her own stories of past and current adventures from her fascinating life. She was always curious about how we all were doing. We will miss her at our monthly meetings, and feel privileged to have had her company in our midst. I am adding a photo from our group in 2015. Rest well, dear friend. Frank, our prayers are with you.
February 11, 2020
February 11, 2020
I had the pleasure of being Betties Caregiver. She was a special person and I miss her dearly. I look forward to seeing her in a beautiful paradise.
January 28, 2020
January 28, 2020
It is wonderful to remember the good times with Bettie and Frank. Seeing the pictures that Lauren uploaded brought a wave of nostalgia, so I uploaded some of my own. We take the most pictures on trips, so they are overloaded. But it is remarkable the number of places we visited together. Mexico, Bolivia, Peru, Venice, Turkey, Arizona and lots of places in North Carolina. We especially enjoyed bicycling with them across NC and France. What a fabulous woman.
January 20, 2020
January 20, 2020
I met Frank and Bettie in Rwanda in 1976. I arrived in Kigali as the first Peace Corps volunteer there at the same time that Frank arrived in his first post as US ambassador. I had spent the previous year in Zaïre (now the Democratic Republic of Congo). I soon learned that Frank and Bettie had served heroically in Zaïre a few years earlier when they organized the safe departure of western citizens trapped in the middle of one of Zaïre's frequent civil wars. Frank had the job and all the responsibilities and accolades associated with his distinguished diplomatic career, but spouses share in those responsibilities and he and Bettie were always a team. Frank would be the first person to agree that he could not have accomplished all that he did without Bettie at his side every step of the way.
Anyway, perhaps our mutual experience in Zaïre made it easy for us to begin a conversation that has continued for over 40 years. Or maybe it was just their collie Missy, who accompanied them to Rwanda. Whenever Frank and Bettie were both away, they asked me to stay in the Ambassador's residence to keep Missy company. Although my own housing arrangements were quite satisfactory by Peace Corps standards, they were well below the level of an official US ambassador's residence. This arrangement had a few unintended consequences. One day a mid-level diplomat from some European country turned up in Kigali looking for Frank and Bettie who were not in Rwanda at the time. Instead of turning them away, I instructed the staff to prepare a lunch for this visitor and me as Bettie would do. Upon their return, Frank and Bettie might have decided that I should no longer be left alone in their official residence, but they just found it all very amusing and let it pass.
On several occasions when Frank was away and Bettie was in Rwanda, she and I managed to consume whole liters of Johnnie Walker just talking until it was time for me to go back to my own place a few blocks away. My freedom to enter and leave their residence did not go unnoticed by the Russian diplomats who lived near them. One night while out in a bar with my usual expatriate crowd, two Russians around our age showed up and expressed great interest in getting to know me. A few days later I ended up at their place where we managed to consume both a liter of Stoly and another of Jack Daniels. All this lubrication led to us agreeing that the Russian and US embassy staffs should play a volleyball match. Waking up hungover, it occurred to me that I might have really gotten out of line this time. Not wanting to vomit in the embassy, I went up to Frank's ground floor office window and told him what had transpired. With his usual good humor, he just told me that it was no accident that the Russians had sought me out because they were undoubtedly aware of my access to him and Bettie, but that I did have to document all my interactions with them. He agreed to host the volleyball game, and Bettie turned the event into a great garden party at their residence that made there Cold War a bit warmer for at least a few days.
Bettie also made it possible for me to meet Dian Fossey and to spend a lot of time with her Mountain gorillas. In December of 1977, she and Frank decided to give Dian a real bathtub as a Christmas present to replace the buckets Dian had used to bathe for the previous decade. Since my job included the full-time use of a Chevy Suburban, they enlisted me to deliver this steel bathtub up several thousand feet of mountain to Dian's Karaoke research center. I drove the tub to the base of her mountain, hired porters, and arrived just before noon one day in late December. Dian never allowed visitors who had no connection to her research, and she did not know me when I arrived, but the bathtub was a great icebreaker and she was so pleased to receive it that she allowed me to stay for a few days with her graduate students who soon became my friends. Bettie made all this happen without even being there. She knew how Dian would react and how I would handle it without even speaking directly about it to either one of us. I remained friendly with Dian and her students for the remainder of my time in Rwanda and was even able to bring my family to meet the gorillas long before it became a tourist destination. This would never have happened without Bettie.
After our 2 1/2 years together in Rwanda, we continued to stay in touch, albeit infrequently. Bettie wove a beautiful rug for me as a wedding gift in 1980 while she and Frank were in Columbia where, as Chargé d'Affaires ran US interests while the Diego Ascencio, the ambassador, was held hostage by Columbian rebels. The rug still hangs in the entrance to my home, and will remain there until it's time for me to give to her granddaughters whom I have the privilege of knowing.
In 2016 I attended Frank and Bettie's joint 80th birthday party. As a gift, I presented them with photographs of Dian Fossey with the bathtub I had delivered to her from them 39 years earlier. Never missing an opportunity to make a connection, Bettie then told me that a UK company producing a documentary about Dian had been in touch with her and Frank. Generous as always, Bettie immediately introduced me to the production company. Subsequently I digitized my photos of my visits with Dian and donated them too the company. A few of them made the final cut in the documentary.
I had no idea when I left Durham after their birthday party that I would never see or speak with Bettie again. Although I may not have seen it that way in my early 20's, Bettie was both a maternal figure who helped me to feel at ease being myself, and who helped me to mature when I first lived independently as an adult. I have always considered her a trusted friend, even in the past few decades when our contact has been limited to annual holiday cards and an occasional encounter, usually arranged by her son Jeremy and his wife Pam. I loved her from the moment we met. I an am stunned and saddened by her premature passing. I always thought that we had time to drain another bottle of scotch. RIP my friend. I love you and I miss you.
Anyway, perhaps our mutual experience in Zaïre made it easy for us to begin a conversation that has continued for over 40 years. Or maybe it was just their collie Missy, who accompanied them to Rwanda. Whenever Frank and Bettie were both away, they asked me to stay in the Ambassador's residence to keep Missy company. Although my own housing arrangements were quite satisfactory by Peace Corps standards, they were well below the level of an official US ambassador's residence. This arrangement had a few unintended consequences. One day a mid-level diplomat from some European country turned up in Kigali looking for Frank and Bettie who were not in Rwanda at the time. Instead of turning them away, I instructed the staff to prepare a lunch for this visitor and me as Bettie would do. Upon their return, Frank and Bettie might have decided that I should no longer be left alone in their official residence, but they just found it all very amusing and let it pass.
On several occasions when Frank was away and Bettie was in Rwanda, she and I managed to consume whole liters of Johnnie Walker just talking until it was time for me to go back to my own place a few blocks away. My freedom to enter and leave their residence did not go unnoticed by the Russian diplomats who lived near them. One night while out in a bar with my usual expatriate crowd, two Russians around our age showed up and expressed great interest in getting to know me. A few days later I ended up at their place where we managed to consume both a liter of Stoly and another of Jack Daniels. All this lubrication led to us agreeing that the Russian and US embassy staffs should play a volleyball match. Waking up hungover, it occurred to me that I might have really gotten out of line this time. Not wanting to vomit in the embassy, I went up to Frank's ground floor office window and told him what had transpired. With his usual good humor, he just told me that it was no accident that the Russians had sought me out because they were undoubtedly aware of my access to him and Bettie, but that I did have to document all my interactions with them. He agreed to host the volleyball game, and Bettie turned the event into a great garden party at their residence that made there Cold War a bit warmer for at least a few days.
Bettie also made it possible for me to meet Dian Fossey and to spend a lot of time with her Mountain gorillas. In December of 1977, she and Frank decided to give Dian a real bathtub as a Christmas present to replace the buckets Dian had used to bathe for the previous decade. Since my job included the full-time use of a Chevy Suburban, they enlisted me to deliver this steel bathtub up several thousand feet of mountain to Dian's Karaoke research center. I drove the tub to the base of her mountain, hired porters, and arrived just before noon one day in late December. Dian never allowed visitors who had no connection to her research, and she did not know me when I arrived, but the bathtub was a great icebreaker and she was so pleased to receive it that she allowed me to stay for a few days with her graduate students who soon became my friends. Bettie made all this happen without even being there. She knew how Dian would react and how I would handle it without even speaking directly about it to either one of us. I remained friendly with Dian and her students for the remainder of my time in Rwanda and was even able to bring my family to meet the gorillas long before it became a tourist destination. This would never have happened without Bettie.
After our 2 1/2 years together in Rwanda, we continued to stay in touch, albeit infrequently. Bettie wove a beautiful rug for me as a wedding gift in 1980 while she and Frank were in Columbia where, as Chargé d'Affaires ran US interests while the Diego Ascencio, the ambassador, was held hostage by Columbian rebels. The rug still hangs in the entrance to my home, and will remain there until it's time for me to give to her granddaughters whom I have the privilege of knowing.
In 2016 I attended Frank and Bettie's joint 80th birthday party. As a gift, I presented them with photographs of Dian Fossey with the bathtub I had delivered to her from them 39 years earlier. Never missing an opportunity to make a connection, Bettie then told me that a UK company producing a documentary about Dian had been in touch with her and Frank. Generous as always, Bettie immediately introduced me to the production company. Subsequently I digitized my photos of my visits with Dian and donated them too the company. A few of them made the final cut in the documentary.
I had no idea when I left Durham after their birthday party that I would never see or speak with Bettie again. Although I may not have seen it that way in my early 20's, Bettie was both a maternal figure who helped me to feel at ease being myself, and who helped me to mature when I first lived independently as an adult. I have always considered her a trusted friend, even in the past few decades when our contact has been limited to annual holiday cards and an occasional encounter, usually arranged by her son Jeremy and his wife Pam. I loved her from the moment we met. I an am stunned and saddened by her premature passing. I always thought that we had time to drain another bottle of scotch. RIP my friend. I love you and I miss you.
January 13, 2020
January 13, 2020
Bettie’s smile lit up a room. She was curious about everything. She was kind and funny. Listening to her and Frank embellish stories from their lives around the world was an adventure all its own. I am sorry she is gone. I hope for your peace and comfort.
January 8, 2020
January 8, 2020
I just smiled ear to ear and laughed when I realized how much Mom would have enjoyed the problem I just worked out. Undoubtedly she would have calculated the answer much faster.
I needed to figure out how much wood I would need for her burial urn...
What is the volume of a hexagonal pyramid 3.5 inches on the bottom and 6 inches at the top with a side angle of 70 degrees.? I had to get out my trigonometry and figure out it would be 6.8 inches high and the total volume would be about 150 cubic inches. Plenty big for mom. And then I remembered all the math problems she worked through calculating the amount of fabrics or pillow fill or ribbing for her countless projects. She had protractors, rulers and graph paper always at the ready when she started a project. I remember her working things out using geometry and trigonometry. It made me tear up!
I needed to figure out how much wood I would need for her burial urn...
What is the volume of a hexagonal pyramid 3.5 inches on the bottom and 6 inches at the top with a side angle of 70 degrees.? I had to get out my trigonometry and figure out it would be 6.8 inches high and the total volume would be about 150 cubic inches. Plenty big for mom. And then I remembered all the math problems she worked through calculating the amount of fabrics or pillow fill or ribbing for her countless projects. She had protractors, rulers and graph paper always at the ready when she started a project. I remember her working things out using geometry and trigonometry. It made me tear up!
January 4, 2020
January 4, 2020
When I was 18 Mrs. Crigler saved my butt at the Mexico City airport when one of the security officers there wanted to pull me aside for further questioning. For that moment she transformed from best friend's mom into American diplomat super-woman, that poor guy never knew what hit him. I had never seen her do that before, it was pretty cool. Thanks Bettie.
January 4, 2020
January 4, 2020
Lauren Crigler's Facebook post and replies:
My dearest mother passed away this Friday night, December 27, 2019 at her home in Durham NC. She was with my brother Jeff and her husband of 65 years, Frank Crigler. She lived a brave and dynamic life, and she was my best friend.
Bettie Ann Crigler died peacefully at the age of 83. Although the last several months were difficult for her and her family, it could not dampen her indomitable spirit. She led a life in pursuit of mastery, as a wife and mother; as a diplomat and hostess for the United States; as a weaver, jeweler, seamstress and fabric arts designer; as an entrepreneur; and as a passionate civic activist for progressive causes. She is survived by her husband of 65 years, their three children and three grandchildren.
May her memory be a constant joy and comfort Douglas Twigg
Delete or hide this
Hill Love to you ❤️ Tracy Quinones
(((((((((Long hugs without words)))))))$)
Oh, Lauren, I am so saddened. I thought your mum was just so interesting and generous. May you and your family feel peace. --- Lee Ann Smith Bravender
Oh Lauren, I am so very sorry for your loss. I love your mom. She was such an amazing person with whom I will always feel a special connection. Sending you all my deepest sympathies and lots of love. -- Heather Wilson
May her memory be a blessing for all who knew her. -- Jay Kingley
I remember riding bicycles in France with her and Frank Crigler and Judy Troy Eshelman. We were the Red Birds (or maybe it was Blue) who wanted to ride further than the other couples. I remember especially that she wanted to learn to ride "no-handed". Frank would say, "Don't do that!!" But of course she did. She lived a full life, it is a shock that she is gone. -- Curt Eshelman
She was amazing, and led an amazing and purposeful life. All my love to you and the family. Kristen Greenaway
Sending my condolences Lauren. She was an amazing woman. -- Valerie
Sad news. We are so glad we were welcomed into her home to meet her.
-- Lewis Wardell
Lauren I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. She was a very cool chic!
I’m so sorry for your loss. She was a lovely person.
Lovely tribute, Lauren. Thinking of you. -- Cathy Murphy
Oh no, Lauren. I am so sorry. -- Beth Dager Turesson
Lots of love to you, Lauren. Beautiful memories! -- Laura Hoemeke
Ka hotuhotu te manawa mou. The heart sobs with sadness for you. -- Moira Duff
Sending love to you dear Lauren. -- Lori Ramsey
I’ll always remember the story of her facing down a vengeful mob in the doorway of her home, saving several lives in the Congo at risk of her own. Tough lady. -- Toby Eshelman
Deep sympathies to you and the family at this difficult time. Please know that Rob and I are here for you if there is anything you need. Much love. -- Rebecca Kohler
Moira Duff Takoto mai e kuia Bettie
Pikia atu te ara
Ki te Rerenga Wairua…See More
Oh Lauren. I was so lucky to have met her and gotten a taste of the amazing person she was. Much love coming your way. -- Leah Ekbladh
My sympathies to you and your family, Lauren. -- Nicole Dupré
I am deeply sorry for your loss. May your memories continue to provide you with love and peace. -- Linda Ippolito
Oh Lauren I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Your Mom was indeed an indomitable spirit. Sending you and your family strength and courage for the days ahead. -- Sara Lewis
My condolences. Real passage in so many ways. -- Roxanne Henderson
My condolences Lauren -- Daniel Lopez-Acuna
Sending deepest sympathies, Lauren. I’m so very sorry for your loss. -- Mona Byrkit
My deepest sympathies for you and your family. Love to you! -- Cristina Ruden Bisson
I am so sorry. I know this past year has been a challenge. Bettie always brightened my day when I saw her. She is greatly missed❤️ --- Janene Swift Tompkins
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. You have my deepest sympathy. -- Sara Marcy
Que la terre soit légère sur elle. -- Lynne Franco
My condolences Lauren. -- Matthew O'Connell
Lauren, so sorry to hear this. Beautiful tribute. May her memory be a blessing in your lives. -- Cheryl Nicchitta
Lauren, your mother was truly an inspiration; may your memories bring comfort to you and your family. -- Lucy Harber
I’m so sorry, Lauren. I know how much you meant to one another. Dave and I send our condolences to you and your family. -- Katie Joyce
My condolences. May her soul rest in peace. -- Vishal S Shah
My condolences to you Lauren. I remember your mum coming up in a discussion we had and I admired the relationship the two of you had. She was clearly an exceptional person. - Geoff King
My condolences, Lauren. ❤️ Amanda Huber
My condolences Lauren to you and your family - Your mom was definitely a wonderful person - strong and creative and you have her amazing beauty as well! - Hope your healing is smooth and you can be a comfort to your father. LOVE!!! Teresa Polk Politi
I am so, so sorry, Lauren. Your Mom sounds like such an amazing person. Sending you hugs from across the pond. -- Ellen Clancy
So sorry to hear this Lauren - she seems to have been a wonderful warm and accomplished woman. Sending love and condolences to you and your family. Xx -- Barbara Stilwell
My condolences Lauren !
So sorry to hear this, Lauren. Thinking of you. -- Sara English Matson
I am so sorry for your loss, Lauren. I recall meeting your mom and dad on several occasions when we were all younger. I certainly remember what a special person she was. In addition to being so talented, she sparkled! Wishing you and your family peace and happy memories as you grieve Bettie's passing. ❤️ Nancy Kiplinger
Very sorry for your loss! -- Michael Huhn
I'm so sorry for your loss, Lauren. My condolences to you, your dad and the rest of the family. May your memories of the good times help you through this difficult period. -- Debbi
Your mother was a beautiful woman. I’m sorry for your loss. -- Diana
Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear this. Thank you for showing her to us. She was a beautiful and brave person. I remember seeing a picture of her by a pool — I think in Africa? I love hearing your memories about her.
-- Cathy Murphy
My dearest mother passed away this Friday night, December 27, 2019 at her home in Durham NC. She was with my brother Jeff and her husband of 65 years, Frank Crigler. She lived a brave and dynamic life, and she was my best friend.
Bettie Ann Crigler died peacefully at the age of 83. Although the last several months were difficult for her and her family, it could not dampen her indomitable spirit. She led a life in pursuit of mastery, as a wife and mother; as a diplomat and hostess for the United States; as a weaver, jeweler, seamstress and fabric arts designer; as an entrepreneur; and as a passionate civic activist for progressive causes. She is survived by her husband of 65 years, their three children and three grandchildren.
May her memory be a constant joy and comfort Douglas Twigg
Delete or hide this
Hill Love to you ❤️ Tracy Quinones
(((((((((Long hugs without words)))))))$)
Oh, Lauren, I am so saddened. I thought your mum was just so interesting and generous. May you and your family feel peace. --- Lee Ann Smith Bravender
Oh Lauren, I am so very sorry for your loss. I love your mom. She was such an amazing person with whom I will always feel a special connection. Sending you all my deepest sympathies and lots of love. -- Heather Wilson
May her memory be a blessing for all who knew her. -- Jay Kingley
I remember riding bicycles in France with her and Frank Crigler and Judy Troy Eshelman. We were the Red Birds (or maybe it was Blue) who wanted to ride further than the other couples. I remember especially that she wanted to learn to ride "no-handed". Frank would say, "Don't do that!!" But of course she did. She lived a full life, it is a shock that she is gone. -- Curt Eshelman
She was amazing, and led an amazing and purposeful life. All my love to you and the family. Kristen Greenaway
Sending my condolences Lauren. She was an amazing woman. -- Valerie
Sad news. We are so glad we were welcomed into her home to meet her.
-- Lewis Wardell
Lauren I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. She was a very cool chic!
I’m so sorry for your loss. She was a lovely person.
Lovely tribute, Lauren. Thinking of you. -- Cathy Murphy
Oh no, Lauren. I am so sorry. -- Beth Dager Turesson
Lots of love to you, Lauren. Beautiful memories! -- Laura Hoemeke
Ka hotuhotu te manawa mou. The heart sobs with sadness for you. -- Moira Duff
Sending love to you dear Lauren. -- Lori Ramsey
I’ll always remember the story of her facing down a vengeful mob in the doorway of her home, saving several lives in the Congo at risk of her own. Tough lady. -- Toby Eshelman
Deep sympathies to you and the family at this difficult time. Please know that Rob and I are here for you if there is anything you need. Much love. -- Rebecca Kohler
Moira Duff Takoto mai e kuia Bettie
Pikia atu te ara
Ki te Rerenga Wairua…See More
Oh Lauren. I was so lucky to have met her and gotten a taste of the amazing person she was. Much love coming your way. -- Leah Ekbladh
My sympathies to you and your family, Lauren. -- Nicole Dupré
I am deeply sorry for your loss. May your memories continue to provide you with love and peace. -- Linda Ippolito
Oh Lauren I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Your Mom was indeed an indomitable spirit. Sending you and your family strength and courage for the days ahead. -- Sara Lewis
My condolences. Real passage in so many ways. -- Roxanne Henderson
My condolences Lauren -- Daniel Lopez-Acuna
Sending deepest sympathies, Lauren. I’m so very sorry for your loss. -- Mona Byrkit
My deepest sympathies for you and your family. Love to you! -- Cristina Ruden Bisson
I am so sorry. I know this past year has been a challenge. Bettie always brightened my day when I saw her. She is greatly missed❤️ --- Janene Swift Tompkins
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. You have my deepest sympathy. -- Sara Marcy
Que la terre soit légère sur elle. -- Lynne Franco
My condolences Lauren. -- Matthew O'Connell
Lauren, so sorry to hear this. Beautiful tribute. May her memory be a blessing in your lives. -- Cheryl Nicchitta
Lauren, your mother was truly an inspiration; may your memories bring comfort to you and your family. -- Lucy Harber
I’m so sorry, Lauren. I know how much you meant to one another. Dave and I send our condolences to you and your family. -- Katie Joyce
My condolences. May her soul rest in peace. -- Vishal S Shah
My condolences to you Lauren. I remember your mum coming up in a discussion we had and I admired the relationship the two of you had. She was clearly an exceptional person. - Geoff King
My condolences, Lauren. ❤️ Amanda Huber
My condolences Lauren to you and your family - Your mom was definitely a wonderful person - strong and creative and you have her amazing beauty as well! - Hope your healing is smooth and you can be a comfort to your father. LOVE!!! Teresa Polk Politi
I am so, so sorry, Lauren. Your Mom sounds like such an amazing person. Sending you hugs from across the pond. -- Ellen Clancy
So sorry to hear this Lauren - she seems to have been a wonderful warm and accomplished woman. Sending love and condolences to you and your family. Xx -- Barbara Stilwell
My condolences Lauren !
So sorry to hear this, Lauren. Thinking of you. -- Sara English Matson
I am so sorry for your loss, Lauren. I recall meeting your mom and dad on several occasions when we were all younger. I certainly remember what a special person she was. In addition to being so talented, she sparkled! Wishing you and your family peace and happy memories as you grieve Bettie's passing. ❤️ Nancy Kiplinger
Very sorry for your loss! -- Michael Huhn
I'm so sorry for your loss, Lauren. My condolences to you, your dad and the rest of the family. May your memories of the good times help you through this difficult period. -- Debbi
Your mother was a beautiful woman. I’m sorry for your loss. -- Diana
Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear this. Thank you for showing her to us. She was a beautiful and brave person. I remember seeing a picture of her by a pool — I think in Africa? I love hearing your memories about her.
-- Cathy Murphy
January 2, 2020
January 2, 2020
Jeffrey Crigler's Facebook post and replies:
My mother, Bettie Ann Crigler died peacefully in her home in Durham, North Carolina, on Friday, December 27th at the age of 83. She led a life in pursuit of mastery, as a wife and mother; as a diplomat and hostess for the United States; as weaver, jeweler, seamstress and fabric arts designer; as an entrepreneur; and as a passionate civic activist for progressive causes. She is survived by her husband of 65 years, their three children and three grandchildren.
Arrangements are being made for a memorial for Bettie and I will post them shortly. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund https://gorillafund.org
Please share your thoughts, photos and remembrances of her on her memorial site here: Bettie-Ann-Crigler-Memorial https://www.forevermissed.com/bettie-ann-crigler/about
I was fortunate to be with Bettie when she died. I had arrived for a visit in Durham on Friday about 3 pm. I brought her an orchid and body cream for Christmas presents and she really appreciated them, perked up and was clearly engaged and happy. She had a last meal of soup and some ice cream.
Dad and I retired to have diner. During diner our caregiver said her breathing had become shallow. I went to her room and raised her bed. Her breathing was slow but steady. Then she took a big breath, as if diving into a pool.... and she was gone. It was about 7 pm.
In the Meditations, Marcus Aurelius thanks those he knew for what he inherited.
From my mother I received the desire to learn and acquire skills, with my hands, my senses and my mind. I learned to carefully practice skills in design, planning, construction and presentation. Just as she made beautiful weavings, jewelry, diplomatic receptions and civic organizations, so I have learned to build furniture, guitars, software systems, and business organizations by the grace of her gifts.
Mom: Rest in Peace and Rise in Glory!
Amen+
Kat Sarfati: I am sorry for your loss. I will pray for you all.
Fran Gardner-Smith: Jeff, your mom was beautiful! Thanks for sharing her story with us. Praying for you. And may she Rest In Peace.
Bryon Propst: I'm so sorry Jeff. Losing a Mother is heart-wrenching at any age. She sounded like a wonderful person.
Joni Jackson Langevoort: What a beautiful woman, and a lovely tribute. Sending hugs and prayers for peace to you and your family.
Jeffrey Crigler: Joni, You would have loved her. You kind of remind me of her... in you passions for doing what is right.
Joni Jackson Langevoort: No higher compliment. Peace, my friend.
Frederick Cox: So sorry for your loss
Randall Holbrook: I am so very sorry for your loss.
Barbara Everhart: Sending love to you and your family.
Nancy Homans: It sounds as though her memory is already a blessing. Thinking of you, Nellis and Robin as you grieve her passing.
Angela Lauria: Oh! I am so sorry to hear this. Your mom was such a lovely lady.
Kate Kominars: I’m truly sorry for your loss and glad that you were able to be with her.
Mary Ann Ritter Youn-Batten: My condolences for the loss of your dear mother.
Mike Brown: Lovely tribute, my deepest sympathies to you, Jeff.
Louise Armitage: A wonderful tribute, Jeff. I am so glad you were there with her.
Aastha Verma: Such an amazing life and so beautiful ❤️
David Aylward: Lovely tribute. I am sorry for your loss
Carol Colatrella: My sympathies on your loss. Your mother’s life is inspiring.
Dolly Mastrangelo: What a beautiful woman, Jeff. You are clearly her son.
William G. Salter: Jeffrey and Lauren, I am so sorry. She was a wonderful lady, and always very kind to me. My condolences to your whole family.
Skip Richards: A beautiful tribute Jeff. Thank you for these words and my sincerest condolences on your loss. I'm so glad we got to spend time with her during those final days, hearing her stories and seeing her perk up as she recounted stories of Diane Fossey. We will all miss her.
Art Bushnell: My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What a wonderful tribute and so special you got to be with her.
Jean Carroll Kemp: Amen- May she rest in the peace of the light everlasting, Jeff. She clearly shone a bright light in her life.
Shanti Bhusan Sharma: Sorry for your loss Jeff . May she rest In Peace
Linda Leonard Dohme: My sincerest sympathies. What a gift to be with her when she passed. You and your family are in my prayers.
Meg Hargreaves: Touching words from a loving and grateful son. I’m sure she was incredibly proud of you. I’m so sorry for your loss, Jeff.
Mojdeh Ghiaie Raznahan: My deepest condolences to you and your family. May she Rest In Peace.
Sue Sujansky: A loving tribute. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Douglas Twigg: Beautiful tribute Jeff May her memory be a joy
Sundar Lakshmanan: Nicely written tribute to your beloved Mom, Jeff! May her soul Rest In Peace. My deepest condolences.
Ed Richards: Such a thoughtful and beautiful tribute to your dear mother, Jeff! She did love her family so much and was so proud of each of you!!
Ed Richards: That comment was written by Alice Richards, but I agree , love and condolences.
Tuwenia Grebowsky: Jeff, what a great mom you had. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
Laura Horn: She left the finest kind of legacy, Jeff. I’m sorry for your loss and so glad that you had this woman of character and consequence in your life...and that she had you.
Deborah Luth Bedell: Our condolences, Jeff. She sounds like a lovely and very accomplished woman.
Kathy Kuhn Penny: What wonderful gifts your mother bestowed upon you. So very sorry for your loss
Michelle Marie Branigan: Jeff, this is one of the most beautiful tributes I've ever seen. My condolences on the loss of a remarkable woman.
Bevin Newman: I am sorry for your loss, Jeff. Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute. Many prayers for peace and comfort.
Nancy Shuster: While I am sorry for your loss, I am happy, impressed and inspired by what she leaves behind and the spirit she leaves in this world. My sympathies to you and your family.
Susan Burk: Jeff, lovely tribute to your mom. What great gifts she passed down to you. And my, she was a gorgeous woman!
I’m sorry she’s no longer with you but she is certainly in you!
Ann Holtz: Our condolences Jeff. What a loving tribute.
Jo McDermott She’s beautiful! I’m sorry for your loss.
Eric Koefoot: So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman. God bless her - and your family at this difficult time.
Dean McCall: I remember her as a gracious lady. Glad she was your mom.
Michael A Huhn: A very great tribute to your mother.. Very sorry for your loss..
My mother, Bettie Ann Crigler died peacefully in her home in Durham, North Carolina, on Friday, December 27th at the age of 83. She led a life in pursuit of mastery, as a wife and mother; as a diplomat and hostess for the United States; as weaver, jeweler, seamstress and fabric arts designer; as an entrepreneur; and as a passionate civic activist for progressive causes. She is survived by her husband of 65 years, their three children and three grandchildren.
Arrangements are being made for a memorial for Bettie and I will post them shortly. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund https://gorillafund.org
Please share your thoughts, photos and remembrances of her on her memorial site here: Bettie-Ann-Crigler-Memorial https://www.forevermissed.com/bettie-ann-crigler/about
I was fortunate to be with Bettie when she died. I had arrived for a visit in Durham on Friday about 3 pm. I brought her an orchid and body cream for Christmas presents and she really appreciated them, perked up and was clearly engaged and happy. She had a last meal of soup and some ice cream.
Dad and I retired to have diner. During diner our caregiver said her breathing had become shallow. I went to her room and raised her bed. Her breathing was slow but steady. Then she took a big breath, as if diving into a pool.... and she was gone. It was about 7 pm.
In the Meditations, Marcus Aurelius thanks those he knew for what he inherited.
From my mother I received the desire to learn and acquire skills, with my hands, my senses and my mind. I learned to carefully practice skills in design, planning, construction and presentation. Just as she made beautiful weavings, jewelry, diplomatic receptions and civic organizations, so I have learned to build furniture, guitars, software systems, and business organizations by the grace of her gifts.
Mom: Rest in Peace and Rise in Glory!
Amen+
Kat Sarfati: I am sorry for your loss. I will pray for you all.
Fran Gardner-Smith: Jeff, your mom was beautiful! Thanks for sharing her story with us. Praying for you. And may she Rest In Peace.
Bryon Propst: I'm so sorry Jeff. Losing a Mother is heart-wrenching at any age. She sounded like a wonderful person.
Joni Jackson Langevoort: What a beautiful woman, and a lovely tribute. Sending hugs and prayers for peace to you and your family.
Jeffrey Crigler: Joni, You would have loved her. You kind of remind me of her... in you passions for doing what is right.
Joni Jackson Langevoort: No higher compliment. Peace, my friend.
Frederick Cox: So sorry for your loss
Randall Holbrook: I am so very sorry for your loss.
Barbara Everhart: Sending love to you and your family.
Nancy Homans: It sounds as though her memory is already a blessing. Thinking of you, Nellis and Robin as you grieve her passing.
Angela Lauria: Oh! I am so sorry to hear this. Your mom was such a lovely lady.
Kate Kominars: I’m truly sorry for your loss and glad that you were able to be with her.
Mary Ann Ritter Youn-Batten: My condolences for the loss of your dear mother.
Mike Brown: Lovely tribute, my deepest sympathies to you, Jeff.
Louise Armitage: A wonderful tribute, Jeff. I am so glad you were there with her.
Aastha Verma: Such an amazing life and so beautiful ❤️
David Aylward: Lovely tribute. I am sorry for your loss
Carol Colatrella: My sympathies on your loss. Your mother’s life is inspiring.
Dolly Mastrangelo: What a beautiful woman, Jeff. You are clearly her son.
William G. Salter: Jeffrey and Lauren, I am so sorry. She was a wonderful lady, and always very kind to me. My condolences to your whole family.
Skip Richards: A beautiful tribute Jeff. Thank you for these words and my sincerest condolences on your loss. I'm so glad we got to spend time with her during those final days, hearing her stories and seeing her perk up as she recounted stories of Diane Fossey. We will all miss her.
Art Bushnell: My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What a wonderful tribute and so special you got to be with her.
Jean Carroll Kemp: Amen- May she rest in the peace of the light everlasting, Jeff. She clearly shone a bright light in her life.
Shanti Bhusan Sharma: Sorry for your loss Jeff . May she rest In Peace
Linda Leonard Dohme: My sincerest sympathies. What a gift to be with her when she passed. You and your family are in my prayers.
Meg Hargreaves: Touching words from a loving and grateful son. I’m sure she was incredibly proud of you. I’m so sorry for your loss, Jeff.
Mojdeh Ghiaie Raznahan: My deepest condolences to you and your family. May she Rest In Peace.
Sue Sujansky: A loving tribute. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Douglas Twigg: Beautiful tribute Jeff May her memory be a joy
Sundar Lakshmanan: Nicely written tribute to your beloved Mom, Jeff! May her soul Rest In Peace. My deepest condolences.
Ed Richards: Such a thoughtful and beautiful tribute to your dear mother, Jeff! She did love her family so much and was so proud of each of you!!
Ed Richards: That comment was written by Alice Richards, but I agree , love and condolences.
Tuwenia Grebowsky: Jeff, what a great mom you had. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
Laura Horn: She left the finest kind of legacy, Jeff. I’m sorry for your loss and so glad that you had this woman of character and consequence in your life...and that she had you.
Deborah Luth Bedell: Our condolences, Jeff. She sounds like a lovely and very accomplished woman.
Kathy Kuhn Penny: What wonderful gifts your mother bestowed upon you. So very sorry for your loss
Michelle Marie Branigan: Jeff, this is one of the most beautiful tributes I've ever seen. My condolences on the loss of a remarkable woman.
Bevin Newman: I am sorry for your loss, Jeff. Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute. Many prayers for peace and comfort.
Nancy Shuster: While I am sorry for your loss, I am happy, impressed and inspired by what she leaves behind and the spirit she leaves in this world. My sympathies to you and your family.
Susan Burk: Jeff, lovely tribute to your mom. What great gifts she passed down to you. And my, she was a gorgeous woman!
I’m sorry she’s no longer with you but she is certainly in you!
Ann Holtz: Our condolences Jeff. What a loving tribute.
Jo McDermott She’s beautiful! I’m sorry for your loss.
Eric Koefoot: So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman. God bless her - and your family at this difficult time.
Dean McCall: I remember her as a gracious lady. Glad she was your mom.
Michael A Huhn: A very great tribute to your mother.. Very sorry for your loss..
January 1, 2020
January 1, 2020
Sally and I are so sorry to hear this news. We were welcomed into her beautiful house several times and treated with warmth and hospitality. Such an engaging and caring woman. She will be missed!
December 31, 2019
December 31, 2019
We are so sorry for the loss of Bettie. She was a wonderful and caring woman, an adventurous wife and mother, and she will be missed by all of us. We pray for the comfort and encouragement of the family during this time of bereavement.
"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Math. 5:4
...Mark and Sheila Crigler
"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Math. 5:4
...Mark and Sheila Crigler