September 21, 2014
September 21, 2014
澄碧, so that's your Chinese name, I just learned it on this day, when we celebrate your life, and say goodbye. But how beautiful, how perfect! Betty, your eyes are just like your name, so clear, deep, sparkly, and when you smile, they shine ever so brightly. You are always so full of energy and laughter. Your smiling eyes have tiny little wrinkles from laughing so hard...
I came to say goodbye, feeling so lucky that I've learned so much more about you as a person today. When I last saw you in April, I was confused and in disbelief about your diagnosis. I am an oncologist - nothing about your clinical course correlates to it. I listened to you telling the story, with your laughter threading through here and there the many silly and miraculous details. Disarmingly, you told the story without any pain, when I should have known how much pain and struggles you must have gone through. You made it so light, you lifted the weight off our shoulders. You only had tears briefly in your eyes when mentioning your beloved son Brian, that you'd prepared audios and letters and so much more so that you would always be with him after you were gone. You said that Kai would be okay too. I was in awe of the power and wisdom of your mind, while at the same time the most gentle, profound, of your love. How extraordinary!
Betty, you are a beautiful soul. I have thought of you often since I last saw you that April afternoon. Today, with tears in my eyes, I say goodbye. My dear, there is no more pain where you are now. I will forever remember your clear, deep, sparkly eyes that smile loudly to form wrinkles around them. I smile. And I carry on.
Love, Fei
9/20/2014
I came to say goodbye, feeling so lucky that I've learned so much more about you as a person today. When I last saw you in April, I was confused and in disbelief about your diagnosis. I am an oncologist - nothing about your clinical course correlates to it. I listened to you telling the story, with your laughter threading through here and there the many silly and miraculous details. Disarmingly, you told the story without any pain, when I should have known how much pain and struggles you must have gone through. You made it so light, you lifted the weight off our shoulders. You only had tears briefly in your eyes when mentioning your beloved son Brian, that you'd prepared audios and letters and so much more so that you would always be with him after you were gone. You said that Kai would be okay too. I was in awe of the power and wisdom of your mind, while at the same time the most gentle, profound, of your love. How extraordinary!
Betty, you are a beautiful soul. I have thought of you often since I last saw you that April afternoon. Today, with tears in my eyes, I say goodbye. My dear, there is no more pain where you are now. I will forever remember your clear, deep, sparkly eyes that smile loudly to form wrinkles around them. I smile. And I carry on.
Love, Fei
9/20/2014