It has been exactly five years today that my mama transitioned, on December 14, 2018. A lot of stuff has gone down in those five years, but I, my brother Marshall, and little Ollie (whom my folks never knew) are all still here. I feel as though I am taped together with Scotch tape, but your strength inspires me, Mama. You did so much. You never appreciated how much you accomplished here on earth, but I hope you, and Pa, know now. I will visit you and Pa at Forest Lawn soon. In God's own time, I will rest right next to you. This is not necessarily a sad anniversary. It marks your ascendance to chrysalis and your entry into the other realm. I am sorry that I have no pictures of you and Marshall to share, but Marshall is camera shy. I don't think that a picture of you and him exists. Aunt Phyllis misses you, too. Five whole years without you. It seems impossible. I love you, Mama. I know that you and Pa are happy, and I know that you guys are looking after me.

Hi, Mama!

Well, honey, today is your 88th Heavenly birthday. I love and miss you so very much, as does Marshall. The house is very empty without you and Dad. I think of you both each and every day. I have your picture hung proudly on my wall. It is the photo that the inept photographer in Northridge took. Do you remember that, Mama? Going to that photography studio that day -- I think it was in 1997? -- is a fond memory, one of thousands I have of you. Mama, when you were unconscious in hospice care that last week, I was out of my mind. I regret that I did not come and talk to you or smooth your hair. I was not myself, Mama. I hope you can forgive me. On your last night, I sat next to you and your bed and watched "Midsomer Murders," the show that you and I used to watch together. I hope that you and Dad, and all the gang including Doug and grandma Opal, are enjoying the realm where I will join you in time. Oh, Mama, I did receive the gorgeous message that you left for me on the back of your Christmas painting. I cherish it. Dad, bless his heart, found it. I speak to Aunt Phyllis, and we talk about you, Dad, and Grandma Goose a great deal. You are loved so much, sweetie, and your absence is incredibly felt. On your birthday today, please always remember how much I love you. One other thing, Mama. Thank you for being in that car with me and little Ollie on this last August 14, when we were hit by the gas tanker. Just as you protected me when I was born, I know that you protected me in that terrible accident. You saved me life. I know you are there for me. I send you great, great love. Dance with Dad today. Be happy, Mama.

Hi, Mama,

Here we are -- December 14, 2021. It has been three years now since we lost you, and the pain is always there. It always will be, I guess. But, hey, isn't it fantastic that Dad is with you now? As you know, he skipped off to join his beloved Billie Girl this past July 13. Doug's passing in February broke his heart more than he'd ever let on, but he was thankful that you were in Heaven with Doug instead of being down here with us mourning Doug. I still cannot believe that this has all happened, Mama. You and Pa were big, larger-than-life heroes to almost everybody who knew you, especially your adoring children. Heroes don't die. Except that they do, along with everybody else. Marshall and I are looking towards Christmas. I know you hated me, Mama, but I had to make sure that he and I would be able to keep the house. It's all we know. It's practically all that we have left of you and Pa. It is so empty and lonely around here, though. But I know that you guys visit us. I can sense when you are paying a visit. Please come as often as you like. Marshall and I love ❤️ when you and Pa appear to us. Mama, I've been feeling just awful about that terrible day when you came home to a hospice and called out for me but I was too afraid to come to you. I regret it so much, Mama. I am so deeply sorry. I was terrified in a way I'd never been before. It was only recently that I have been able to put words to what it was that so frightened me. But why dwell on that, my goodness, other than to humbly ask your forgiveness for a very bad wrong that I did to you at a very weak moment. Mama, I'd give anything to have you with us again in human form. Losing you was profound and very, very deep. Well, Mama, hopefully they'll have the plaque for our niche all ready with Dad's name soon, so that we can come and visit in person. You are in my thoughts every day, honey. I love you so much. As you once wrote to me, I am bereft without you. Please tell Dad that he'll get a letter, too. I miss him so much that it hurts my body. Well, we will all be reunited in time, if you guys still want to see us. I am always here for you, Mama. The years are going to start rushing by as I get closer to my own transcendent moment, but no matter how many years pass, you will always be my greatly, greatly beloved Mama. Come say hi, Billie Joan Buller. I would sure appreciate the company. I love ❤️ you. From Richard

It has been two years ago that you left us, Mama. We miss you and love you so much.

Happy 85th Birthday, Mama. We all love and miss you so very much. Your chair in the corner should not be empty, but it is, and we are finding ways to live with that each and every day. Losing you was the worst experience any of us have had. But I know, Mama, that you are still here with us. I see how you tilt your picture on the wall to communicate with me. You are with us, yes, and we are with you. We will be together again, all of us in our family, unbreakable then as now. We are sending you our great love at this moment, on your birthday, as well as at all other moments of this realm we your family are still in. You were and are the best of us, Mama. We love you more than I, your son, can express with words.