Finding Joy While Grieving

Have you done something since someone you love is no longer alive that made you smile, or made you feel like you were having a good time? Did the good feelings last?

John writes:

I went to a baseball game last week with some of my friends. I was surprised to find myself acting a lot like I did in the old days when my son was right here with me holding out his mitt hoping to catch a ball. I ate hot dogs and drank beer and my team even won. But after the game was over and I went home I started to cry. (Yeah – men cry too.) Does this happen to anyone else?

Me:

I have a lot of what I call accidental good times. I was out with a friend and next to a restaurant where I eat often there is a gelatin place I didn’t even know was there. You don’t go into a shop – a really nice man opens a window and the gelato is hand made and super yum. Then the next night I went out with different friends and we had a truly fun evening.

I didn’t think I could manage to go to either things but I forced myself. My granddaughter even texted me after her trip to Washington D.C. that I tell better history stories than any of the teachers or guides on the trip.

When Happy Moments Don’t Last

My problem is none of this sticks. It’s not like in the beginning when I couldn’t do anything. It’s different. I can have fun and share things with people. First I have to find the determination to go. Then in the moment I have learned to be present with them and if it is enjoyable, enjoy myself. After that I’m back home by myself facing the same challenges, the same loneliness. I know people who say they have been released from grief. I admire that but it’s not something I seem to be able to achieve. I’m going to make bold choices and have good times because I know if there is an after life my husband loves watching me smile and laugh but the older I get the more challenges I have. I can forget the sadness for a bit but it never goes away. Sigh
What about you?