"I loved Brian very much! We had many dreams and plans together. I considered him my soul mate. In West VA, he helped me pick a piece property we were going to build a retirement home on. He was planning to take a motorcycle class and we were saving to buy him a bike so we could ride together this summer. We knew Dale wanted grand kids so he developed a fertility plan we could use; after all he was a fine Biologist. Clearly, we were becoming life partners.
I met Brian at a group gathering in a personal growth group. He was very strong and confident then, a man of great faculty, stamina, dreams, and aspirations. After all, he could fearlessly control fire and safety was always top on his mind. He had a certain beautiful smile I called a smolder in recognition of the fire inside him. His enthusiasm for life was contagious. It brought me and many others up. He also operated only from the heart, always honest, loving, and concerned for me and his friends. He had many friends who adored him. He was, you might say, adorable. He was on top of his life game. He owned my heart almost immediately.
But he struggled with his job as a biology lab technician. I spent many night consoling him. When he would tell me he felt outcast at work, I would tell him, "Show them your beauty, let them see your heart, and they will adore you as I do"! When he became depressed after losing that job around Xmas time, I would hold him and tell him, "Just hang on to me as tightly as you can baby. This will pass and we will get through it together, you and I!" Every night, I would hold him in bed, and I would tell him, "You are my beauty. You make me beautiful. You make the world beautiful. I love you!".
Ultimately, in his death, I believe he felt comforted at my house and he knew I would be there to comfort him. In some odd but loving way, I am honored he died at home with me. I was raised Christian so the notions of heaven and hell were ground into me. But with Brian, the Christian teaching were turned on their head. Though Brian did not believe in heaven, I know in my heart god took him there quickly. I have a sixth sense in matters of this sort and I am 100% convinced. I also have some sense for reincarnation though I do not know the teachings of the Budda. I believe that it is the evolved souls that over time choose the hardest life incarnations. When I looked into Brian's soul, I saw one of the most evolved, kindest, and loving souls I have ever known. If he is reincarnated, he is bringing beauty and happiness to the world and those he touches as he did to me.
Rest in piece my beauty, my sweet love. I know we will meet again in heaven or on earth. I will know your soul when I see it. It will stand out as a shining light of beauty, grace, and love."