Brian was incrediably intelligent.  His IQ was above average.  I was very proud of this gifted child.  If people didn't know him and understand him they naturally thought of him as a problem and a bomb about to exploded any moment.  We had many ups and downs because of his intelligence.  Because he was so smart, most of his educational life was boring to him because he was always way ahead of the other classmates.  This boredom cause him to act out a lot and misunderstanding teachers wanted him on ridlin which caused him to be lethargic most of the time.  He just was not the same boy.  Teachers and the Board of Education and I went round and round but never came to an understanding.  Unfortunately the Board of Education back in those years wanted him out of the regular school system, and if I didn't co-operate with them I could be taken to court.  The worst mistake I ever made with Brian was allowing him to go into a Special Education program.  Instead of helping him it degraded him and didn't help his self-estem.  I'm so sorry my son, I'll never be able to make that up to you.  Please understand my hand was forced.
   As far back as I can remember Brian was a tuff one to handle.  At four years of age I use to take him to Tiny Tots Gym at the local elementry school across the street form where we lived in Hamilton, Ont., Canada.  The parents always had to wait outside while the little ones played, painted, did crafts and were suppose to socialize.
The first couple of times we went to play time everything seemed to be going well.  As time went by the Instructors came out of the session and told me that Brian is very disrupting and they can't conduct the play time appropriately.  So, I tried to inform him that he couldn't go if he didn't behave.  As expected Brian continued to act out (the class clown).  God bless those instructors they continued to let him have the play time, probably because it was only an eight week course.  
Can you imagine how Brian's educational life was from a young age on?
I don't care what anyone says.  You were not a disturbed child you were my shining star.  You were very wise beyond your years and your artistic ablities were just  amazing.  I didn't understand you at first but as the years went on only those who knew you understood you.  Your visions, compassion, and personality can't compare to most people your age.  
The love you can gave, especially to your children, out shines any I have know.  I miss all of your abilities, your love and your presence.            
Always know how much you meant to me then and still do.    xoxoxoxo  MOM

On Juy 24, 1976 a beautiful 7lb 6oz baby boy was born to a very young boyfiend and girlfriend at McMaster University Hospital, in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.  Luckily for me and my husband, this young couple was mature enough to know they could not provide a good life for this baby.  Brian was placed in my arms by an adoption agency at five weeks of age.  Finally after many miscarriages, we were parents. 

Brian was a very hyper, active and a naturally born daredevil from the start.  We experienced many happy times as well as trials and tribulations.  Although I said he gave me every gray hair on my head honestly, in the latter part of his life we achieved a very unusually loving and close Mother and Son relationship.  I wouldn't take back any moment of the past 34 years.  I can't tell you how much I miss him and love him.  My heart aches beyond any pain that I have experieced.  I loved you from the moment I first held you and I always will.  The only thing that keeps me sane, is knowing you are not depressed and suffering any more and that the Great Creator is keeping you safe until we see one another again.    I LOVE YOU SO MUCH  BRI BRI.  XOXOXO