I am Buky’s younger sister and though she was only 17 months older than me, she really felt like a big sister. She was my only sister and my best friend for as long as I can remember.
If anyone had told me a couple of years ago that I would be giving a tribute at Buky’s funeral, I would not have believed it. Where do I begin?

As a little girl, I really admired Buky, I admired everything about her. Her looks, how well she did at school, the fact that she had so many friends. As a matter of fact, not only did I really want to be like her, I wanted to be her.

Buky was always very generous to me. When she was about 13 years old, she had her first job at a photocopy and print shop own by our mum’s friend in Old Bodija, Ibadan. Whenever she got her N20 salary every other Friday, she would count out N10 and give it to me. Even when we grew older, she would never hesitate to give me nice gifts. Whenever I had a major expense coming up, she would consider it her expense too and would often offer to split the expense with me. She was especially generous to my children with her time, her money and everything she had. This generosity was not just with me but with a lot of her friends and other family too.

Buky was fiercely loyal to her loved ones. Any friend of mine was a friend of hers and she was very clear about that……and woe betide anyone who tried to take advantage of me or treat me unfairly. She would face them head on and stand up for me….always.

Buky had a kind and simple heart. She was pretty easy to read once you got to know her. She wore her heart on her sleeve and there were no airs about her. When she was worried, you knew, when she was happy, you knew, when she was sad, you knew. And no matter how times she was hurt by someone, she always forgave them and never put up walls around her heat. Buky was not afraid to be vulnerable, she did not hide her feelings or pretend to be someone she was not.

Like Lanre said during his tribute, Buky carried the burdens of her loved ones as if they were her own. No matter what she was going through, she cared so much about others and what they were going through. I’ll give you an example: Buky’s daughter Oluwadara and my son Iremide were born 10 days apart in the spring of 2015. I was in California, Buky was in Seattle and my parents were with her. Buky worried constantly about how I was coping with my baby and older son without my mum there to help me. At the same time, Buky herself was dealing with her illness, the treatment and its devastating side effects and of course a newborn baby of her own. Another example that comes to mind is when we were growing up in Nigeria and my parents would go out of town to Lagos or Ijebu or any town or city a couple of hours drive away. If they were not back home before dark, Buky would go and sit outside by the gate and wait for them and no one could convince her to come inside or have dinner until they came back home.

I could go on and on about how wonderful, kind, generous and loving Buky was but instead let me say a few things I will miss about her:
I’ll miss her frequent face time calls with me and my boys. We would often face time with her when I came home from work and my older son would say “ lets call Abiki” (that’s what he called her).
I’ll miss her sense of humor – Buky was very sharp and witty
I’ll miss the great advice she gave me about everything from career to fashion to family life
I’ll miss having her to talk with and sound things off of – she was a great listener
I’ll miss her sense of style I’ll miss her warmth and caring spirit
I’ll miss our long telephone conversations
I’ll miss her medical advice for my boys – she was not only their Aunt and my first son’s godmother she was also their honorary pediatrician
I’ll miss our little get-aways: I remember Puerto Rico, Las Vegas, London, Lagos and oh-so-many weekends in New York City to see broadway shows
Lastly, I’ll miss just knowing she’s there for me to reach out to.

As younger women, we often talked about raising our children together, how our husbands would be good friends and how our kids would grow up together. She often joked that she would send her kids over to my house for lunch or dinner whenever she did not feel like cooking.

When I first met my husband, Buky was so excited. Whenever he and I were to go on a date, she would insist that I got all dressed up and looked really really nice. I on the other hand figured its was alright to go on a date in my natural, everyday look, afterall, if we ended up together he would see a lot more of my day to day look than my dressed up look, right? I’m glad I took her advice though, I might not be married to my husband today if I hadn’t.

When we were in medical school, she let me walk in her footsteps. At the beginning of each rotation or before any examination, she would tell me exactly what and how I needed to study to do well based on her own experience the previous year.She always wanted things to be easier for me than they were for her and for me to do better than she did.

So today, my heart is heavy, no I should say my heart is broken. Someone close to me said “Kemi, don’t worry, I’ll be your Buky from now on”. Another person said to me “ now you have to be both Buky and Kemi to your parents”. But they don’t understand, Buky was one of a kind so no one else can be my Buky and I can’t be Buky for Mummy and Daddy, I can only try.

I know things can never be the same again but I do know that Buky is in a better place and that things will get better for those of us she left behind as time goes by.

I love you Buky, I always will. I believed till the very end, even as you took your last breath that you would miraculously be healed. I guess it was not meant to be. I do know, however, that someday we will meet again to part no more.

Bukola, caring sister and daughter, loving wife and devoted mother.

Olubukola mi, Oluremi mi, Agbeke mi…..
Omo alakatanpo
T’o se bi obo o gbon
Obo gbon t’inu obo l’obo n se
Omo t’ibi t’inu omo Aderonke
Omo elesin meta ni ‘Jebu Ode
Omo r’epo omo t’epo
Omo olori se se se Sun re O….. Buky Sun re O