Since Buky’s passing, I have heard from so many friends and family members, many of whom I have not talked to in years. All the messages that I received and the messages on this site, have reminded me that Buky was truly loved by her extended family, her friends, her friends’ children, and even by her siblings’ friends. One of my friends wrote, “I always admired Buky from the first day I met her and that respect and admiration only increased as I got to know her better.” Another friend wrote: “she was no doubt a beautiful soul that was very well respected and she will be greatly missed.”
One of the first people I heard from was a cousin that lost a parent some years back. What he said really resonated with me. He said when you lose someone you’re close to, you should expect to go through cycles of emotion; times when you will be filled with sadness and times when a memory brings a smile to your face. He also said, take the time with family and friends to remember and celebrate all the things that made Buky a special part of your life.
In the spirit of celebrating Buky, I want to write about “Strength” and “Love”, two traits that Buky showed throughout her life and even more so after she became ill.
I once read that whenever you face a difficult or even frightening decision/situation, your response can either be based on fear or it can be based on love and strength/courage. When Buky got her diagnosis, and throughout her illness, she faced several incredibly difficult decisions. I thought she always faced those decisions with strength and courage, as well as with love. Love for her daughter (before and after she was born), love for her husband and love for her whole family. She always wanted to make the decision that was best for all concerned. And even though these situations were frightening and I know that she was scared, she did not allow the fear to control her. I think that is the true measure of strength: being able to be courageous even in the face of fear. She approached the illness with dignity the entire time; mustering the energy when she had very little to take care of herself and even take care of her family, still cooking and cleaning whenever she had the energy to do so.
Buky always cared and worried about what was happening in the lives of her friends and family. She shared the load of their burdens or challenges like they were her own and she genuinely celebrated their victories like they were hers.
In addition to her strength and the love she always showed me, I will miss her advice, her sense of humor, and how she always helped me to maintain perspective and focus on the things that were truly important.
