All my life, I’ve been depressed and anxious, yet those meds never helped me find relief. I tried so many different kinds and have continued therapy for years. I really believed this was as good as it was gonna get, and I wanted to give up so bad. I joined Fresh Hope because I didn’t know what else to do, so I drew closer to God, and that’s where I met Carl. Everyone loved when he sang and played guitar, it lit up the room. His willingness to be honest and vulnerable showed his strength. Listening to Carl share what he had to say really helped me during that time. I can’t believe it’s only been three years, but it feels like it’s been a lot longer.
It’s been nearly a whole year that I found a new doctor who spent much more time trying to help me figure out why I wasn’t getting any better. Turns out, it’s just really weird to catch ADHD in adult women if it was overlooked when you were a kid, but I have been taking the right meds. This made a massive difference in my life! Things aren’t perfect, but I don’t care… I’m so grateful and thankful to God for finally giving me an answer to the question I’ve been wondering my whole life: what’s wrong with me?
I finally know the answer- everything, and nothing at all. God made us exactly the way He wanted, we are perfectly imperfect. We ALL struggle to overcome the battles in our lives, some seem to struggle less or more than others but we never know exactly what someone else is battling.
Carl inspired me to keep turning to God even when I feel like I just don’t get it and my struggle seems cruel and pointless. Nevertheless I must keep going, because my pain will not disappear, it will be inherited by my loved ones and I can’t do that to them. I must be resilient. If I could go 30 years without the right kind of help, I can go 60 more because I was fortunate enough to be given an answer and a treatment that helps.
I cannot take this victory for granted. I can only be grateful for the beautiful husband God gave me. I will do whatever it takes to make something of my life, even if that means I have to go back to the hospital, or live in a residential treatment center, switch meds, or change my life again. Everything I try, I trust that God will see me through.
Thank you for stopping by my path during your journey, Carl. You made a difference.