I've dreamt of Carmen more than a few times since her passing but last night's dream I felt to share.
I was housesitting for someone, a familiar house. Then Carmen arrived and we talked. I said I had saved something for her. We walked outside and I said 'there'. It was her horse, a white with some black speckles on it. She was elated and rushed over. She paused for a moment and looked absolutely beautiful, radiant. She got on her horse and I watched as they galloped through the hills. It was a loving sight. All I can guess is that the house I was tending, was Carmen's. Thanks old friend for such a lovely dream. See you soon, in another dreamworld adventure.

Dearest Carmen,

When we met, it was such a beautiful and heartfelt conversation along with the deep knowing of a renewed friendship from lifetimes ago. 

I am deeply grateful for how our friendship wove into what is next for me. Thinking I would join you in the Great Pyramid once we exited the Twilight Zone" of the Pandemic, I never imagined it would be with you in Spirit rather than your beautiful and spirited earthly form. 

The door to my heart is open, and I look foward to being with you in that Great Pyramid Egypt this next March.  

Thank you for opening your heart to me and sharing your Love!

Much Love & Thanksgiving, 
Astara B

In a small town of 800,000 called Chung Hua, there was a foreigner in line at a Japanese Grocery store and the second she saw me she introduced herself and asked if I knew anything about MP3 players. From that chance start began 20 years of Carmeeee adventures. 

When she came back to Canada and was rescuing some of her things from here and there, I helped her to move a giant potted tree, but I had little faith it was going to fit in my van. "Jason, you just have to do the impossible, every day, and let the universe take care of the rest." One of my favorite Carmen quotes. 

"The Doorknob Epiphany" whereby people would find their own solutions when she set hour appointments to "expire" at 50 minutes, was another valuable lesson Carmen shared.

Carmen always had that an incredible knack of knowing when to move or relocate and I'm sure this is just another example of that instinct.  

I'll forever miss you, Carmen. Thanks for always caring and always sharing and being so daring. And it goes without saying you were such a great hostess! (Chung Hua, Calgary, Esquimalt.) Say hello to Galen, too.  

** Thanks to those that shared stories on this site!! Your words and memories helped and for that I am grateful. 

780.Jason@gmail.com

Carmen I remember us, 'women with wings', young and filled with so much potential. Koodos to you for realizing yours. May you always fly higher and higher, ever more. Ciao for now, Deborah. 

I too remember noticing the tall regal woman with the bald crown at the U of A S.U.B. theatre for the showing of the film Sunseed 1976.
Carmen and I got to know each gradually after that initial meeting and spent much more time together through 1982 and 1983 when we were both newlyweds living in Edmonton and either pregnant or with young child. We played grown up and had dinner parties where the women talked in the kitchen and the men smoked outside.
When we moved to other places our relationship continued through the mail or with random visits.
In 1992 Carmen moved to our farm on Denman Island with Calibar her horse, her knitting machine and of course her piano. Upon her arrival my daughter Shani who was nine at the time announced "Mom she has 27 pairs of shoes!" After a few months of living together Shani said "Mom is there anything you can do better than Carmen?" to which I replied "Yes I make a better pie crust" :)
How could anyone compete or compare with Carmen's brilliance in so many different arenas?
Yet I felt she loved and accepted me despite my "inadequacies".
She was not long on Denman Island before galloping off towards further adventures.
Our paths didn't cross directly again until Galen's funeral and a few times afterwards before she moved to Spain. 
I feel blessed to have known her and witnessed her indomitable spirit which carried her through many ups and downs. I also appreciate being part of this web of friends who have been touched by her grand presence and the chance to reconnect with old friends who share this big grief.
Ya salaam Carmen

I could write a book about how Carmen and I knew each and how much she meant to me, and will say it  all in as a few words as possible!

We enjoyed doing so many girlfriend things together. Sharing Cooking recipes, home decorating, health and beauty tips, watching figure skating and long chats about life and beyond.
We shared so many loving and joyous times together.
We supported each other with our life goals and challenges, in our unique work choices, spirituality and being single moms.
Carmen helped my girls with learning french. Helped Nikki with  riding.
In my home in Calgary we had a Celebration of life for Galen.

We can all Celebrate together Carmen’s life for all the wonderful gifts she gave use and the world.

CarmenI’m so blessed that you came to see me in my new home in Kelowna and I got to see you the last time you were in Calgary.

I will always remember you and love you in this life and beyond. Carmen you will always be my BFF ❤️

We’re All Going Home

When I met Carmen, it was Edmonton, 1976. I had returned from New Zealand with my wife and  daughter to have time with our families and to be with my tai chi master.
Carmen was friends with some of my friends, who recognized that we shared many interests. Carmen was still very high after her intensive Arica training, which Laurie mentioned in her story. Her passion was the inner work, expressing her artistic self and studying life, understanding what the heck we were all doing here??? Carmen, of course went on to many levels of study, in every area of her interest, including a Doctorate.
And my friends were right. There was an immediate resonance and recognition, that I am sure Carmen felt with many other travellers, in many countries throughout her life.

This was the beginning of a 46 year friendship of fellow adventurers on the inner and outer journey. There were periods when we wouldn’t see each other for years, yet we always stayed in touch and wanted to know how the other was doing, and be supportive of each other…especially if we lost a dear one or anything really big was happening for one of us. Surprisingly, although even my daughters went down the Nile with her, I never made it on a trip to Egypt.


Carmen and Kyla, Banff, 1993

Carmen had known my daughter Kyla since she was two years old, so when at nineteen, Kyla felt like an adventure away from home, of course, Carmen invited her to her place in Alberta for a few months. Carmen was naturally and easily generous with those she cared for. We met in NZ, India, USA, the east and west of Canada…but mostly we met in our heart connection. 




Denman Island, Canada, mid 90’s with our friend Marilyn and child

I had long talks with Carmen in mid-December last year around our birthdays and just before Christmas. I am so grateful that we shared that time. She was really unwell, exhausted and puzzled by her unwellness. Aside from talking about our projects and the many details of our lives, we were brainstorming what she may do to get well. Of course neither of us knew she was dealing with cancer. 
Carmen had finally found her dream home, closer to Egypt than Canada, and so much warmer. She was almost finished her Atlantis movie project. She was really frustrated with the limitations she was feeling with her physical body.

Carmen had an endless list of projects to share her visions with the world, and I am sure nothing has changed now that she is in the heavens and free of her physical body. Her inspirations and her vision lives on in those who shared with her.
Here are some verses from a song the younger Carmen wrote in 1976 and copied into my ancient journal. In her many moments, over the years, feeling the light of Life moving her, Carmen could have also written this song last week.

We’re All Going Home

Anytime, anywhere,
In the moments that we’ve shared, 
I feel the sun shine,
I see the pure light within your eyes.

God’s grace has reached us.
It tangibly surrounds us.
Our only lesson is to love, serve 
and remember this.

So now we’re together.
We can laugh and play and share our songs
And rejoice in our incarnation,
Be free and know we’re all going home.

See you on the other side, dear friend Carmen.

I met Carmen in Edmonton in  the summer of 1975.  She had just completed the Arica 40 day Intensive Training at Shawnigan Lake, B.C., along with several friends of mine, and she came to my house for a gathering.  Her head was shaved bald at the time.  Apparently several of the women at the training had shaved their heads to see what it was like to be a person in the world without the usual expectations for how one is supposed to look.


That made it so much easier for me to relate to this tall and elegant woman who, at 21, was almost four years younger than me, and yet had already experienced so much adventure in her life.  She had done sky diving- dropping out of airplanes.  And helicopter skiing - being left at the top of a mountain to ski down in the pristine snow (she was a ski instructor).  Shortly after we found ourselves living in a large house full of people near the University of Alberta, she headed out on a trip around the world.  All by herself. Her trip included Iran, Turkey, India- countries I could not even imagine visiting. She sent me air mail letters every week with details of her adventures.  After her return, I gave her back all the letters to keep for herself.  I don’t know if  she kept them.


From there, Carmen and I always joked about how our relationship was like ships passing in the night.  We sometimes lived in the same cities, but usually not.  We visited.  We talked for hours on the phone. We kept in touch and cheered each other on through relationships, parenthood, and projects.  She called me at 6:00 am the morning after her son Galen died.


“Galen is dead,” she said.  “What?” I replied.  It seemed so final.  She felt his presence in the flowers and in the sparkle in the air when she scattered his ashes into the ocean.  She saw his orb - cobalt blue- as it appeared in photographs, and she saw it at other times as well.  Carmen always seemed to have such a connection with the other side, I thought that losing Galen might be a bit easier for her because of that, but I think I was wrong.


It is very strange for me to wake up in the morning in a world where Carmen is no longer a part of my life.  Where I can’t just text “Got a minute to chat?” and end up with a couple of hours of sharing and inspiration and years of knowing and loving one another just as we were.  I kind of expected a sign from the other side.  That hasn’t really happened.  Not yet. 

The night after Carmen’s son Galen died in a car accident, I couldn’t sleep.  There was an electric  piano in my room that had been neglected for quite some time, and I felt an urge to plug in the headphones and plunk out a melody that was stuck in my head.  I imagined that Galen was instructing me on what the notes to play, and the phrasing of the music. I made a rudimentary recording of the song Galen inspired.  The name came to me in the same way as the music.  It was to be called “Angel Wings”.  This song takes me to another world, and now it reminds me of Carmen.