Well it's been three years now. So here is what you missed. Evan has grown taller than Morgan. And he is a natural athlete yet we can't figure out what sport to put him in. Madison is an artist and loves to draw and create anything she sees on YouTube. Morgan graduated from high school and is college bound at msu in Bozeman Montana. She's going into the medical field of some sort. Holly got a job last year and is climbing the ladder and doing very well. Everyone loves her there. I told her in five years she will be running the company, she laughs and said no way. As for me, I'm still log scaling and still trying to find that perfect job with no luck yet.
I'm really missing you and I wish I would have made amends with you when you were still alive. It tortures me everyday wondering if you ever knew that I was actually very proud of you. I wish I had just one more day to tell you everything I needed to tell you. I love you brother and I'm sorry the way I treated you I hope when we see eachother in heaven you will be able to forgive me. Forever missed brother

Chad you are so ever on my mind. My hand presses against your picture so many times throughout the day; sometimes in sadness, sometimes in gratitude; sometimes in fear; sometimes in loneliness-always in love. I love you Chad Mitchell Mercer. I miss you.

Chad, week to week is still the same; I go through each day with you on my mind; ever wishing ever hoping that you were here. I don't think there can be an ending to the desire to share life with you. I don't think these things can be healed. Thank you for loving me as well as you did. Thank you, I am so grateful to have known that you were my friend.

Mercer, I would give anything to bring you back to me and Ayden. I stood in your spot the other evening and watched the sunset as you would sometimes do; I felt your hand against the nape of my neck. Missing you just doesn't seem to end...

Happy Birthday, Chad. If there be a reward system in heaven for a job well done on Earth, may you stand tall among the mightiest of Arch Angels and be received into their fold, their kind. Say a blessing to your God for allowing Ayden and me to know you. To have loved and been allowed to show our appreciation each and every day.

Chad, a friend asked me today what I had liked most about you. I told her it was your gentle, steadfast hands. Hands of someone that you could put your entire life into and know that it would be well tended. Eight weeks I'm counting from your passing. This...life...without you doesn't seem real. Seems so empty, without you. I miss you terribly.

Week seven. Light glimmered thru the shadows a bit. My precious Chad. I KNOW that you are with me. I KNOW that you are with Ayden. I KNOW that you didn't want to leave us and we gotta make the best of this...but I'd sure like to tug on your goattee one more time and brush my finger against your brow.

Chad, my relationship with you completed everything that I needed from any other human being. You were my friend, my partner, my competitor, my champion, and my inspiration. Six weeks, six very, very long weeks without you. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful that I am to have experienced your kindness, your companionship, your love. I know that when I cry, you cry as well. We miss us.

Five weeks. I jinxed myself last week. Today I missed you whole whole bad. I miss the way that your blue eyes sparkled. I missed how safe I always felt with you.I miss pinching you when you say something that I don't like. I miss being in your space...intentionally. I miss cleaning out the sink after you shaved because you never could seem to do it yourself. :)

Four weeks. Today was the first Tuesday that I woke up without expecting you home. Without reliving the homicide detectives at the door and everything else that came after that. Four weeks hasn't changed how much I love you, Chad Mercer. It hasn't stopped me from missing you. It hasn't stopped me from crying for you. I still like you more than OTHER people. :) Blessed be, my love.

Chad Mercer was my friend. I knew I could tell Chad absolutely anything without reprisal or condemnation, or judgment. He loved to be teased, and returned in kind very proficiently. I appreciated Chad Mercer. I respected Chad Mercer. I love Chad Mercer. May the memories and the appreciation of your friendship with Chad be with you all the rest of your days.