My DAD My HERO
Its only with Awe and Admiration that I can think of my
Dad. I respected him so much that he is held in high esteem,
and assumed to be almost infallible for me. There are many
instances in my life, where I have put myself in his shoes and took decisions
based on what he would have done, under those circumstances
As a man of very high principles he instilled a sense of
honesty in us from the time we were toddlers . We were rewarded, if
we owned up to the naughty pranks we committed. If we broke something,
or was the one to pick up a fight, or lost something
valuable, admitting the same would be forgiven and not punished. He
had an uncanny knack of finding out when we lied and mind you, we would not be
spared for lying. So it was indeed very difficult, to even speak a white lie. I
still remember, how I lost Rs 100 (Roughly more than Rs 2500
today),given to me during the study tour of South India while doing
my Engineering. I was upset and in tears. However when I reported the same to
him after reaching back, he consoled me and asked me to forget it,
though I knew that it was quite invaluable during those times.
He instilled a sense of responsibility in me from
a very young age which stayed with me forever. Once when Dad and Mom had gone
for an official party leaving us in the care of the Orderly,
when we were very young, The orderly informed us that a movie “ Tere ghar
ke saamne “ was being screened on the big screen, in the Cantonment. They
used to screen movies on a 5 Ton truck, on some weekends to
entertain the family of the Officers and Jawaans. All of us were game ,
and left along with him to view the same. On return
from the Movie, I was taken to task, with the others being let off. I was
told that me being the eldest, should have been more responsible for the safety
and well being of my siblings and better sense should have
prevailed. Though I felt miserable then, I realized later,
that it was the stepping stone for me to shoulder responsibilities
We were introduced to reading from a very young age.
Dad had a good collection of books, stocked in a wooden
shelf, as he himself was a voracious reader. He was
particular about spending money on buying books rather than on buying jewelry
or other accessories for beautifying oneself. He was up-to-date, on all
current affairs reading newspapers beginning to end, and listening
to the NEWS on the Radio. (and later Transistor)
I am not too sure, if it is due to the Training in the
Army or not, he led a very disciplined life. We never found him idling in the
house. Either he would be reading, or busy doing
repairs to things found broken, fixing pipes, drilling
screws, fixing insulation tapes, hammering nails or painting the
doors / windows of the house, even mixing cement to lay the bricks in the
garden. Not only would he tend to the vegetable garden, but also
water the plantain and coconut trees, which he fondly planted
in the yard. After getting his posting to Calicut,
he even bought few cows and reared them in our
backyard. Being a vegetarian, he was particular that we get quality milk
, butter, ghee, curd and other milk products. May be some of these
qualities unknowingly rubbed on me too.
Doing a professional course meant, appearing for exams
every six months and studying for the same meant burning midnight oil. Dad
would sit up along with us, and check with us if we were ready to
go to sleep. We would be put at ease, knowing fully well,
that he would wake us up at the time specified by
us in the wee hours, to enable us to, complete
balance portion if any. As I was the one, who was never ever able to
complete sufficiently enough, I would shamelessly ask him to
wake me up at 3 or 4 Am as the case may be, and there he
would be up, with a warm cup of tea to energize me to
complete my revision.
We were very few girl students doing engineering in those
days and almost all of them were hostelites, barring me and my sister. At
times, due to special classes or extended Labs /Workshops , or some unforeseen
strikes, we used to be late to reach home. We could sense his
anxiety and care, as we would find him waiting in the Verandah looking
towards the gate waiting to see us get down from the Bus.
It is relevant to note that those days , it was quite risky
for the girls to be travelling late in the evenings. Despite that, when I got a
call from BPCL to attend the Interview in Mumbai, I asked him if he could
accompany me, to which he declined. As an add-on
he added, “ If I accompany you now, do you think
you will be able to manage, when you have to go on an out
station Tour or when you are transferred? Education should help you
in taking the right path and right decision” In simple ways,
he instilled a sense of self-confidence and fearlessness in me , which I
followed to the T, for my daughter too. Since he displayed complete
Trust in me, I was careful in not breaking his trust
10 years of my school education was spent in 5 schools, in 3
different states
I may have been about 6 years or so , when the
Indo Chinese war broke out in the 1962. Dad was
posted in Jorhat Assam, and we were packed off to Kerala to stay
with our grandparents, as he had to be at the Warfront and
families were expected to leave. My memories are very faint during this
stage , except that we walked to a govt school in our
village to learn the first letters in Malayalam.
Once the war got over, he was transferred
to Benares, and he took us to Benares where we started our
schooling in a Private school. But no sooner, India was again
waging a war with Pakistan in 1965, and he was asked to
report at the Border (Presumably Kashmir). There was no time to even tell us. Today I tend to think of such families, where their
near one left like this, never to return again. The memory which stays with me, is of my mother taking lots of
Vrathas and fasting for his wellbeing. When back, on a
short leave, we asked him to talk about the war, and he explained about
the Trenches and bunkers (where they took shelter from falling
bombs or other attacks), and about the Tanks and soldiers captured by the
Indian Army, his march into the enemy territory and so on. He soft played
the glamorous part by explaining that, when we were
playing Diwali with crackers, they were also hearing the crackers of gun shots
and bomb explosions every where.
These were the real stories of real heroes for a young
girl at an impressionable age of 8 or 9, when one starts hero
worshipping the real hero, her Dad. After watching the Hindi movie
‘Haqueeqat’ released in 1964 set in the backdrop of the Sino Indian War
of 1962, I had the desire to join Indian Army which never
materialized though, as they were not recruiting ladies
other than doctors in the Indian Army, when I
graduated , a reality to which I reconciled later .
After the 1965 war, he was transferred to Jammu,
and we left Benares to be with him . We stayed in Mud houses with
thatched roofs which enabled them to be camouflaged during wars or red alerts .
We got admission in the Presentation Convent Sr Secondary School at
Jammu. Faintly remember how on certain few red alerts, we were asked to go under the beds and switch off all
lights and so on. Even that stay was short lived, as he got transferred
to Abohar Punjab, another Posting on the Indo Pak border which had
no facility for education .
This was a conflicting period for dad, where the dream of
educating his children got pitted against his love of serving the
Nation. Each transfer implied a drop to a lower class for us, due to the change in the
curriculum / medium of instruction or standard of education. Fortunately a double promotion
helped me to gain one lost year. After discussing with us, and
convincing us, he decided to admit us in Boarding school (
Sacred Hearts Convent ) at Trichur (his native place) and keep
the 2 youngest of us with him at Abohar, as they were still in their lower primary
classes. I think the youngest 2 were at their
naughtiest best , after we left for Kerala. Naturally we
were upset with this arrangement, as there was no means of communicating,
other than with letters, which took its own sweet time, and
commuting by train which also meant 2 to 3 days of travel in those days
(1967 to 69). It was the longest period of separation and bitterness for us .
We begged Daddy to try for a Kerala
Posting, and though it meant some compromise and
setback in his career, Dad could manage a Transfer to the
NCC Wing, at Barracks Calicut , when I
was in studying in the 8th standard. To continue with the State board of Kerala ,we( me and
my sister ) got admission in Providence GHS , which also meant studying Malayalam as a first
language afresh from 8th standard ( after Half the year was over ) which was less painful than staying apart in the Boarding School. Dad was also the commanding officer at Providence School/ College, REC and many
other educational Institutions in Calicut. It was at this juncture , that
he took a decision, that we children would continue our education at Calicut
, and he would proceed alone on further transfers. As expected he was
soon to leave for the next Indo Pak War called
for liberating Bangladesh in 1971. Unconsciously, I
started taking (or may be I was entrusted with) more responsibility for my younger siblings.
After Engineering, I got a job with Bharat
Petroleum at Mumbai, and was soon married. Dad and Mom joined
us in Mumbai in the late 90s after he survived 2 cardiac arrests.
Physically he was sick, but relentlessly he continued his
disciplined life which were an example to be emulated by our
children in their lives. I don't want to speak more on this as my children have shared their memories
While at Mumbai to engage him, we took him for the movie
“Border” released in 1997, based on the 1971 Indo Pak war,
which he had participated in, and could relate to the
incidents and locations (Longewal) shown in the same. We
could also take him for an Outdoor Show at MMRDA grounds which replicated the
War scenes, and locations affected during the Kargil War, as
he could relate to them more than any one of us, even though he had not
participated in ‘The Kargil’ War. All though we are children of a Patriot, of a
very high order, we still don’t want wars to be
fought between nations (if it can be avoided), which leaves
indelible marks on the near and dear ones of both who had
survived, as well as of those who were Martyred .
I salute My Dad, My Hero , for inculcating a sense of
responsibility, Honesty, Integrity, Hard work, Tenacity, Sense of Fairness, Respect for the Seniors ( Be it in age or Rank ) and the Never Say Die Attitude, which stood me in good stead throughout my Academic/
Corporate/Personal and Domestic Life , as well as helped me in
bringing up my children who have imbibed these values though
unconsciously
Forever missing you Daddy .. Gita Ramachandran
