Clifton grew to be an amazing child, but as I became a single parent when he was not even 2, our lives became difficult. At the time I became a single mom until they were pre-terns, I ffound myself in competition for their affections
Sadly we feared separation our whole lives together after that. My husband remarried the woman he dated while we were together, and that is what tore the e psychological fabric of out next 10 years. The kids new stepmom insisted that I not be a part of their lives even coersing my x to offer me $1000 per month to me if I would abandon my children to them
Clifton loved me like he would eventuality love all women in his life.( our promise to each other was that we would love each other up to the moon. Now the moon is my talisman.
In that I was pleased, but he had an obsession with females before he could walk, one time causing an adult man to get chewex out becausr the woman didnt belirve a child was touchong her, but skirt and nylons eerePrior to that, in his young years, we got lost on our love of animals. He should have grown to be a vet, not a baseball player, and certainly not the you g man he be ame, what a waste of a brittiant . HeH loved everything living, especially reptiles and bugs. To the point where we kept a tank in his room for "found friends", and we adopted many animals between the three of us, including sister. The cutest thing about me and my kids was our love of animals. The three of us could take off and find anything. Including in Big Bear, where we once foud where the dadybugs met in droves. That was really special. The cutest thing about my kids was that they called each other sister and bother. A tribute to how close they were ( more in that later).
Once Cliff learned to walk and talk, his absence from his dad was arranged so that the kids spent three months with each of us. Being with their Dad was like a playground. I cried each time they left, he cried each time they came home, because I knew I could never measure pp the the money and fun, and big house..
It was shockingly safe for them theme, and scary when I brought them home the the Tacoma hood. But I loved them, I wanted them, and they loved and wanted me..
And what a waste. I'm sorry my x fell in love with someone else, not for me, but for what it cost our kids. But, we did what we though was right, the two of us. If there had not been a selfish, paraniod extra person, we would have been OK.
The one thing about divorse with kids is not to think you are a better parent than each other, and men, don't find a surrogate for you missing wife, it can Only turn out badly..
More later. Many mes to go before I sleep. The
The story must be told, but I'm not sure I have time left to tell it all. Fortune tells me Cliffy and I will be reunited soon, or at least I won't be in pain and guilt any longer. So, I'm trying to put this down for posterity.