Ashi boo, today makes it exactly four years since I saw you last. I cried so much that day, I guess subconsciously I knew that i wasn't gonna see you again. I miss you udim...things have changed so much but you know this already. I really wish this wasn't reality...stay good udim. I love you always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, udim!!!!!!!! I'm home and everything is beginning to seem real. It's been 51 weeks already. I chilled with Mark in Abuja and I know the effort I put in just so I wouldn't kill the mood. I miss you udim. I'm going to see Oz today and God knows I'm scared. How do I see Unimke Agiang without remembering you? Udim you're such a huge part of our lives and it's obvious you're missing...help us here udim. Love always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 49 weeks without you. You know, with all the bad in this world, I've been kind of relieved knowing that you don't have to worry about all these things anymore. I'd still give anything to have you here though. You make everything better, you had a smile for everyday and knew just the best things to say. I mean, we got close when I was fighting my own demons and to think that I've been fighting this without you is scary. I know you're home brother...I know you're happy and your happiness is my happiness...rest on brother....I love you always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 11 scary months you know... In a month, people are gonna say this has been a year already. There's really no waking up from this yeah? I'm trying to look on the bright side, you must be an OG in heaven now... typical Ashi who knows everyone or (whom everyone knows...lol) we always talked about that. I know your heart has always been big enough for us all so there's no way you'd ever forget us here. By the way, our big day is coming... I'm more confused than ever but I know you've got me... you won't let me fall... let's do this udim... I love and miss you brother...always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Its your graduation day today
Your friends graduated today Ashi
You weren't there
You couldn't graduate alongside them
But congratulations for all the hardwork you put in
All the sleepless nights
All the times you got mad cause you did an assignment and the lecturer didn't ask for it
The times you had impromptum test and complained later
The times you go through your test questions to give your self more stress
The times i had to give you space cause you had exams to get ready for
The times you wished you were in my uni writing just 3 exams a semester instead of 9
Congratulations darling
I still celebrate you
Congrats Conrad
Love Ekam...

Ashi boo, for the past week I've been having issues logging in and I began to wonder if that was a way of making me stay away but then I was even more depressed, so I'm happy to be back. I miss you so much udim. Tomorrow will make it 48 weeks since our lives changed...udim I don't think I'll ever get used to this. The project's drawing closer though and I've found friends in some amazing people and Ashi boo, it's all because of you. I look around me and I realize that I'm blessed and you are constantly looking out for me. Ashi boo, I know you have found peace and may God bless you with a hundred times the amount of joy you brought to me. We will meet again udim and when we do, there'll be no fear of death, there'll be no fear of never being friends or the time difference. We will still have our mansions next to each other and talk about our spouses from our balconies. We will do all of these....I believe it in my heart. I love you always udim....I'm forever your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Hey darling
Its been a while since i wrote on here
This weekend made it 5 years since i met you
I miss you
Its my birthday tomorrow
I had a party yesterday
Woke up this morning and all i could think of was us last year
You started wishing me a happy birthday immediately after yours
You did a countdown for me and complained about how i made you apologise for 2weeks on my previous birthday... I miss you
I really wish you'll just come around... you'll be around me the whole day
I really want to hear you say the words happy birthday again
I Love you Conrad...

Ashi boo, it's been 46 weeks udim. I've decided not to talk about me today. So how are you udim? Which celebrities are you friends with now? How's your mansion? I hope you're saving everything pink for me? Keep doing great things baby brother....love you always....Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Conrad Iklaki. The words Ild rather express are personal, answers only you can give me, things I wish you knew before you left. I had to clean up a big mess we both created.For a really long time after you left, I felt a bit of guilt. I understand better now but I felt that somehow a little part of this might have been my fault. Maybe if we didn't have to lie to everyone about a wedding to be together, then just maybe you would have lived a while longer. You won't have had to even travel anywhere.And somehow that feeling of I got back to Lagos safely but you never made it home used to sting so much. We both left and you went halfway with me to the airport before we dropped you off at citec. Its scary the conversation we jokingly had that money before we left fo the airport, the conversations we also had a day before about death and the things you told me...didn't even know I was spending your last days with you conrad. This whole thing and those conversations scared me so much when you left. Playing the whole thing in my head gives me chills. Sometimes I don't even know if we were so much in a hurry. We were both coming back on Monday and the plan was to come back to Lagos together. Yunno on my plane back to Lagos the second time I was literally so scared. I barely even stayed long. I was there for just a day and I had to fly back that day cus I was so scared and I used to feel that maybe God was going to punish me too for what we did. Your death threw me into a confusion. The only thing I had to physically hold on to was your zara shirt you gave me and those shorts. But I burnt them . My pain was way too extreme, maybe I was trying to not remember so much? My questions of if those three days never happened, would you still be here haven't been answered, but I know you might have lived a little bit longer. I also still carried alot of guilt because I had this dream but never told you about it, you just told me you lost someone so I didn't want to put you in that position. Twas just this very very deep feeling the morning you called me and I swear I was going to tell you but I just brushed it off and never even prayed about it, and then you were going to call me once you got home but it just never happened. I don't still know if I am totally fine now and no longer upset. I know I am no longer that mad at you but maybe the little part is just the things we should have sorted out yunno, You have a lot of things to tell me. There was too much unresolved things, like you were supposed to call me back, you were supposed to apologize. But its all good. Maybe if I had not come back to Nigeria or delayed my trip? You wont have had to travel for thise days? Idk. Kind of had some nostalgic feeling thats why I am here, remember this was the month we talked alot about meeting in Nigeria and all our plans, going to uk, etc. remember how frustrated you were waiting for your passport to come back . I really just genuinely wish you are okay. I always wish you are doing well there. Life on this end has been okay. Stay awesome C, we all miss you so much.

Ashi boo, we are in the month of July. The last full month where I last felt happier than I had been in a long while, August 27th stole that. A year ago was when you were still undecided about going home....10 months ago you left and I'm not sure what angers me the most, the fact that you went home at all or the fact that I didn't get to see you...of course top on the list is the accident happening! I miss you brother...stay fly...love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, your Benyin is a graduate!!! This morning I lay there in disbelief, mainly because we talked about this so many times but I couldn't share this moment with you...44 weeks and I'm still hoping for a miracle. Keep loving your wings baby brother...love you always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, happy birthday baby brother... I can't stop thinking about how turnt you would have been today well you probably are making heaven turn up for you right now...Today has been hard and I won't even lie....I've cried so much already but now I just need the strength to get through today and then we can all say we've made it through your first birthday without you here....turn up for us all udim coz we all know no one does birthdays better than you do...love you always brother...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Happy Birthday bro, Wish you could reply all our Birthday shout awd today, I Miss You Man big time, I know that wherever you are now, you're in a good place free from all the hardship that is filled in life...Conrad Iklaki... That name sure rings a Bell and forever will..... I still gat you bro, Today just tend to bring back those mixed memories...But who are We... But just Pencils in the hands of the Creator.... Live on Boss, Live on Sexy ears...that you were fondly called #Smiles... Live on Bro... GABBY says Happy +1

I know your smiling down from heaven..
Happy birthday to you brotherly..
I guess we won't have to ever forget your birthday here on earth would we!!
Live on bro

Hey love,
I remember one of those birthdays of yours some years back when we would all gather in ur compound and play green red and get to eat cake.. big sister Priscilla baked. I miss you so much and tears drop down each time I get to see ur picture, each time I get to remember u calling me amazing b, each time I listen to Charlie putts one call away...
I would call u but u are definitely no longer one call away...
Udim, I know you are in a perfect place and you have already mastered your flying with the awesome wings and halo God has given you.
I love you and I miss you.
Happy bday some boysis.
Happy bday Conrad
Till we meet again..
Here are a few roses to know I am always thinking about you.

Hey darling
You turned 21 today
The days before this day i went through alot
I didnt know how this day was going to go
I prayed for strength
I made it to the end of the day
but without you
Ashi i could only imagine the turnup in heaven
The 19th of june will never be the same for me
Soar...
Happy birthday my handsome Angel
And for everything and with everything in me i wish you happiness and more smiles
I made it through your first birthday without you
I will always have that lovely space in my heart reserved for just you darling
That space where i cherish every time and every memory you gave me
and forever make a continual wish that they never change.
You shine so bright even with the time you had. You made it impossible to forget you. You made the simplest of things mean the world. You made the simplest moments this girls happiest. Thank you
Happy birthday my shooting star i will always Love you babe.

Ashi boo, it's been 43 weeks and all I can think of is the fact that you'd have turned 21 on Monday. How is this real udim??? I miss you brother.... Your Benyin   ❤️❤️❤️

Hey b
How are you doing love
I thought I was doing okay
Last week and this week haven't been the best
The few okay days gave me the wrong idea
My habits are coming back
Am starting to cut important people off again
It's really hard and am trying not to
I just feel really tired and everything gives me aches
But it's okay it's life now anyways
It's your birthday in a few days darlings
So many thoughts are going on in my head
What you would have done
I guess all I can do now is imagine
There's a new song by banky W it's called heaven
It gets to me everytime
I just miss you so much
Pls keep smiling darling
I love you always

Ashi boo, it's been 42 weeks and there's so much I want to tell you but I feel so sick right now. My throat hurts so much and all I wanna do is sleep so I don't feel the pain. I'll be back soon udim. Love always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 41 weeks without you. I've been doing a countdown to your birthday as it's a norm, except that now I ask myself why I'm doing it. I'm not sure how the 19th will be, happy or frustrating, but I know that I'll thank God for your life on earth as always. Turn up for two udim...I miss you. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, can you believe it's been 9 months already? I know I can't. You should be fully settled in heaven now and I'm sure you have your true G's. I miss you brother but I trust that you're happy and that's all that counts. No tears today baby boy....just promise to never truly leave our side. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, I'm here to say thank you. I made it through my first birthday without you...we both know it started very rough but it became so beautiful. It would have been a perfect day except that there was nothing from you...I miss you udim. I realized yesterday that so many amazing people are in my life now and that's all because of you...you are still looking out for me...there's no greater love udim...thank you baby brother. I love you always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Hey baby
It's oby's birthday today (your Benyin) I know you already know that but I want to say happy birthday to her for both of us but don't know how to feel about this. I cried today even when I told her not to cry. It's sad babe... It's bad enough your not here to say it yourself. She has gone on and on how you wee meant to do a countdown for her birthday like you promise...it's heartbreaking are we meant to get through our birthdays without you?? We miss you baby...so much... Even though she tries to hide it I know a big part of her wants to hear you say the words happy birthday to her( please do if there's a way). Then again knowing you I am certain yout turning-up up there for her. I miss you saying tell my Benyin I said hi and me frowning caus I found out it means my love but then again you never stopped you kept letting me get jealous lol. Please keep watching us and please look after oby (yout Benyin) I love you always babe. Ekam.

Ashi boo, it's been 39 weeks. Today, your big sis walked down the aisle and I believe you're there right now smiling from ear to ear. I wish you could send me pictures like every other time...but oh well that's what life has become. My birthday's on Tuesday and I've been crying so much lately, the thought of not getting any form of notification from you is frightening and I don't even get to be mad at you. Same time last year, you were doing a countdown....how did we get here brother? Pop a bottle for me....love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 37 weeks. I've been working on our thing and now I remember why we had said we'll wait till we succeed in life. But I'm going to keep pushing though...God will make a way, He always does. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 36 weeks baby boy. You know with all that's happened this week, I'm surprised i haven't been here already. Thursday was just a nightmare and you know why. I hope you can make her see things our way. I'm really trying baby brother, you know it. I have so much to do but I'll do it all....I promise. Love you baby brother....forever and a day more....Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

A lot is happening recently
I really need you to talk to
I really need to rant
To get it all out of my head
Everything is too much for me to take
I get more irritated each day
Am starting to hate someone I shouldn't
Am too sensitive
I want to scream but I can't
I want to cry really loud but can't
I have to hold it all in
But then again there's you who has been gone 8months
I really miss you babe
I really need you here
Can't we really just wake up
Why does this have to be our reality
Why don't we have a say in this
I just really wish this wasn't our lives now Conrad
I really do miss you
Ekam loves you

Ashi boo, it's been 35 weeks baby brother. My week was alright, I started work, well it's just a summer contract. It's the same place I worked last year but a different position. It brought back memories of last summer, my happiest days and my saddest moments are all there. I talked to and about you there all through the summer and mourned you there towards the end of the summer. It's all good baby brother....that's what they say. But Mama said no one should say that because that's a lie, so no it's not all good but we will keep pushing through. I love you always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 8 months! 8 months! I'm sitting here in disbelief, not sure if it's been longer or shorter in my head but as usual, it just doesn't feel right. I started my new job on Monday and I'm still trying to get used to the whole new schedule thing but it's been good though...I miss you udim and I'm trying so hard to do great things. I know I've let you down but just give me a bit of time, I'll redeem myself....love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 34 weeks without you. You know I spent the longest time today wondering whether or not time exists in heaven. I was chatting with someone and then it got too late where he was and it reminded me of all the times we missed each other's calls because of the time difference. I also realized that I still do not believe this whole thing but like I know it's true, I don't know if that makes any sense but I know you understand me...enjoy life on the other side baby brother. Save everything pink for me....we miss you udim...we all do. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Hey there,
Only God knows how much Ive fought laying this flower, but I don't know how to ignore for such a long time.
I hope heaven is everything and more, and I hope you are staying Lit, it's not easy down here and I think heaven is the real deal. But you are greatly missed.
Just keep praying for us.
Too much love
Iye!

Ashi boo, I've made a decision. I know I should've done so a long time ago as you continuously advised but I have made one now. So I'm going to stick to the original plan and do this our way...coz this is what we do best! So watch me make you proud! Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo!!! Happy Easter baby boy!!! Heaven is where the real thing happens and you get to enjoy all of it and that gladdens my heart ❤️ Have fun for us all coz we will be missing you all through...no Easter message from you today baby brother but God's got us! Happy Easter again baby boy....love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 33 weeks without you. There's so much I want to say to you. You know Kendrick dropped an album and it's LIIIT! I'd give anything to hear you disturb my ears about how Kendrick is everything and all, I even feel guilty listening to the songs without you. I found words that kind of express how I feel and I personalized the words a bit, here goes nothing...

"I pray every night I could see you one last time
I look in the clouds as if for a sign
I go to sleep crying, I wish you were here
But there in my dreams you often appear
That beautiful smile I see on your face
Assures my heart you're in a better place
I knew you were special but not just to me
How so many people loved you was clear to see
The day you were taken my heart was so broken
I knew there were words I shouldn't have left unspoken
I miss you so much but I know you understand
I can't wait for the day I get to hold your hand
As we walk down the road that is paved with gold
We will hear all the stories we were once told
And there we will see Him, so beautiful and strong
And we will know this is where we finally belong
So soon I will be there and I know you will wait
As you take my arm through the pearly gates
But till then I will keep my head high and know it will be OK
Until we can be together again one day."

Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

The thoughts that hunt me always
the regrets
the answers I will never get
I keep thinking Conrad
What if I was given longer time with you?
Will we have worked out
Will we have been together forever?
The sad truth about this is i'll never find out
and this hurts me deeply
I wasn't given a chance
I will never know
what would it have been like?
what kind of cruel fate is this?
this thoughts keep going on and on
for me its never
I feel like my life is all about my opportunities being taken away from me
I can't proof myself
Am starting to have weird ideas
I feel am not good enough
I feel I can do better but am not being given a chance
No one seems to listen
No one seems to care what I can do
and even life babe
Life didn't give me a chance with you
I MISS YOU.

There are days when I try so hard not to be sad
I try to seem happy but fail
This is one of those
Am trying my best to smile today
Am looking for distractions
Am trying to concentrate on my work
Am trying not to think
But nothing is working
I just really miss you
I just don't want to feel alone
I am tired
Everything that made me happy doesn't make me come close to happiness
The worst is I still keep trying and failing
Am hurting and can't deal
Does the heart really heal cause mine keeps breaking
Am really tied of fake smile.

Ashi boo, it's been 32 weeks. My life has been such a struggle lately, school is killing your girl. I miss you telling me not to let myself get ill due to stress. I miss you worrying about everything I do. I miss you udim.. your girl is finishing exams next week...can you believe it coz I still cannot especially because of how crazy this past year has been. Well baby brother, I have so much gist for you, you know I'm your most reliable amebo source and I hope you have gist for me too because I can't tell you how I miss our gossip. Sleep on baby boy, love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, 31 weeks ago you left us. Today is April fool's day and I can think of so many pranks I would have tried on you, tried because I know I would've failed. Like everyday else, I miss you brother and I miss you more as days go by. I had a long conversation today with another friend that is dear to my heart, he made me realize that to a large extent, you are lucky. Ashi, everything in me trusts that you made heaven and isn't that what we all want...stay happy baby boy. I'm living for you so please have fun for me too because you deserve it. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

It's April fools day babe
Exactly a year ago today I woke up in tears cause we were not talking
I woke the two Obys' up and the initially thought I was joking
I couldn't stand not talking to you for that long
It was the longest problem we ever had and took ages to solve
I hated the idea of us not communicating and was so messed up and this was what I thought was a long time
But you beat that record everyday now babe. Everyday is a day more of not talking to you and I don't even know how am making it through.

I miss you bro and it is in a time like this, a time like this in my life when i'm beginning to fear and feel that I might join you soon.

Hey stranger
It's been a long time...i miss you
My week hasn't been the best...so much has happened...I got told am not good enough without being given a chance...it really broke me but it's fine I won't let that define me I'll just keep going for us..back to us babe it's been a while 7 whole months...don't you see my tears I feel like am losing it...I feel like there's so much going on in my head I don't even understand anymore...I know we will be together again soon but what breaks me more is don't know when. There's a new Kendrick song out and I know for sure you would love it. I played it to the photo of you on my wall but that ain't you...am in tears cause the pictures aren't you they just some of the memories you left me.. I love you always

Ashi boo, 7 months ago you left us...your family, friends and even Instagram stalkers. I miss you udim, I wish I could say it in another way....I'll be back later...I have a test now...Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

It's 7 months Conrad

Ashi boo, 30 weeks ago my life changed and I wish it never did. This past week was very tough. I feel like I cried at least three times a day, I spoke to one of your amazing friends and she's also just getting by and she misses you so much. I really can't wait to touch your face and know we have eternal life and I don't need to be scared of losing you ever again.As for now, let's keep talking...love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Your watching right?
Your seeing everything happen
Everything go on without you
It's more than 6 months...your loved ones need you
You are meant to be the support..the one to lean on.
Just like every day but some days more I miss you
Am still scared of being alone Conrad
It's crazy when I think of everything but you remain an unforgettable part of my life.
I love you ❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 29 weeks without you. I feel like that's what Saturdays are to me, just another week gone by without you. Yesterday was our African show at school. The weird thing is the first year I went for it, I told you about a group of boys that danced so well, they danced yesterday. Their performance was so good that I wish I could tell you all I did so you could tell me, "I'm sure they ain't that good" I actually just heard you say that in my head...lol. I miss you udim... Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"

Ashi boo, I'm crying soooo much right now and i can't explain it...I guess there'll always be days like this where i cry more than usual. I miss you udim...I miss you so much. I keep doing things for us hoping they'll feel the same as they did, the thing I'm working on is beginning to scare me. What if I don't feel even a bit of what i ought to feel? I mean there's no you...Ashi boo am I being stupid???? Please say something to me baby brother....Your Benyin misses you udim...forever your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 28 weeks since you left ...28 baby brother. I actually had a very interesting week. There was a bomb threat on my campus and some racist guy also claims he's gonna kill one black person everyday. All of these had me thinking what our lives are truly worth. Anyway, school is also killing your girl but I'll make it through. Still working on that thing udim, God will make it a beautiful thing. I saw you two days ago but we didn't talk so I really do hope you're good...I know you are though coz that smile I saw could not have been fake. We haven't talked in a while though, I know I've been getting very little sleep but all of these will soon be over, Your friend will get this degree for both of us, so please udim just bare with me a little. Maybe just miss me half as much as I miss you....love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, it's been 27 weeks baby boy. Someone told me I'm holding on too much and that's stopping me from moving on...truth is, i wanna be happy and people need to understand that you are a major part of that. Death cannot tear us apart! I miss you more everyday but I console myself by the fact that you have found true happiness. We constantly rejoiced in each other's joy and so I am happy that you're happy, and you know I mean it, I still wish we could rejoice together though. One of our projects is actualizing Ashi boo...we are forever Ashi and Oby. But udim don't you miss my gossip???? My mouth is itching from not pouring it to you sef...forever Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️

Ashi boo, 6 months have gone by without you! I'm crying so much right now and I can't even explain it. I've had the craziest week but you know that already. Udim I miss you so much, I'm taking my grad photos today and I can't stop crying, I would have sent you snaps, chatted all day after that but I can't have any of that and it's killing me! I've tried this new normal without you and it's not working....I miss my brother...I want to hear your epic replies to my non-stop gossip, I want to be able to tell people I can't tell them stuff coz it's our secret, I want to chat with you in a crowded room and make people around me jealous coz they can feel my joy. I went to make my hair and the hair dresser remembers you from two years ago...she asked about you, said some pretty scary stuff and you already know the rest. I love you baby brother... I should be consoled by the fact that you said you're always beside me, but sometimes it's just not enough. You saved my life baby boy and I won't let you down, it becomes clearer by the day that I'm living for us both...you live as long as I live..we will conquer the world udim...every breath I take, you take too...love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️