Travis, I am thinking of you today and praying for you my dear friend. It doesn't seem so long ago that we would go out, have fun and you would crash out on my couch. There are alot of memories I cherish. God bless you my friend. I miss you and love you...I am sure you are making people laugh up in Heaven and you are with your Mom. ❣

I am still in shock Trav... everyday I think about you and my breath catches in my chest and I feel like I am suffocating then my heart drops into my stomach at what feels like 200 mph. And I am taken back by the overwhelming emotion I am feeling.
   A year ago about this time, you were helping me move (as you always had, the only person who was there through all my moves... including the one when my entire underwear drawer full of panties landed on I-25 North Bound right passed the 38th Ave/Park on ramp and I70 interchange. Panties just flying everywhere out the dresser drawers from the bed of my Ford Ranger... and you, in your Camero trying to dodge the UFOs that were soaring at you. We both couldnt help but laugh our ass' off at the situation. And 13 years later, we would still double over in laughter at the mention of it. We really learned which way you want a loaded dresser facing when moving it thanks to that event. :) 
  As with all my moves, you were also my only constant in my life since I was 17. I was only a kid when we met. Fresh outta my little, sheltered, gymnastics engulfed world and I decided you were the one for me. You were the one i wanted to be around ALL the time. Day n Night, Night n Day. I wanted to marry you Trav. I really did. I had many dreams where I saw our children... I had named them already... And life working out the way it did, that didn't end up happening. 
  BUT in all those years of me running away to do my exploring, our paths ALWAYS came back to each other. We always found our way back to one another with some pretty awesome stories to share. And even our time apart seemed like a sheer blink of an eye, we always picked up where we left off. The only true longest friendship I have ever had with the added benefit of having my best friend as my lover as well. You and I were connected Trav, on a level very few people will ever understand.
   I cried when I miscarried our baby Travis, I cried for you, because I knew how much you wanted to be a Dad and how good of a Dad you would have made. Im sorry I didn't tell you until years after it happened. I was so afraid it would hurt you too much but I also knew that it would hurt you more if I never told you. That is one gift I always wanted to share with you and it broke my heart when it slipped away so quickly. 
  A year ago, you had helped me move yet again and 2 weeks later it was my birthday. You came over and you and I spent my 30th Birthday together, just us two. Again, the only constant in my life. We played our guitars and sang songs in my garage and downed wine and Bud Lights until we passed out. It was a great birthday and Im so happy and thankful I got to spend it with you. I had imagined it happening that way... I had it in my head that on your 40th, I was gonna throw an AWESOME Over The Hill party in your honor. **Sigh**.
   Travis... thank you for always excepting me for who I was, who I am and who I am striving to be. Throughout my life you are one of the only people who was able to do that. Who didn't try to smash me into a mold of what they think I should be like, or act like or do with my life. You let me grow and figure out who I am and then let me be who I am with no judgement. I adored that about you. You just loved me. You are such a beautiful person and I miss you so. 
  I had a nightmare last week, I shot awake sweating and crying and hyper ventilating. I dreamt I had lost you, I got up and went to the bathroom and calmed myself down, thanking God it was just a dream and as I climbed back into bed, the realization that it wasn't a nightmare swallowed me whole and I just lost it. I had a friend staying the night and she came in and held me as I sobbed and felt so confused on what was reality at that moment. 
  As my birthday comes around again this year... I think about you and I and our life that we were able to spend together, the smiles, the laughter, the tears and the hurt. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. All of it. 
  I am not dealing well with your absences... I am not too sure how too. I am working through things as well as I can, This is the most I have uttered a word about my feelings or whats been going on in my head about this... And I know you are where you are supposed to be and you will always be in my heart. And everytime I hear Tracy Chapman's 'Baby, Can I Hold You Tonight' I will forever be taken back to Kenny and Kristens livingroom with you singing it to me as you learned the chords on the guitar. You were absolutely adorable that day ;) 
  Image forever burned in my memory.

XOXO
Kar

I have so many memories with Travis....I first met Travis in 2005 at a Dart Bar in Aurora.  He was playing on a team with my friend Esperanza.  She invited me to watch her team. That was the first time I met him.  We talked that night, exchanged numbers and made a "date" to go eat at P.F. Changs downtown Denver a couple weeks later.  I remember sitting at the bar, ordering some wine. Well the bartender accidentally spilled wine on my white shirt. I was like, "Oh no!" That was the start of a fun night.   We then sat at our table and ordered our food.  We had some funny conversations going and right in the middle of a bite, Travis looked up at me and said, " We are never going to blank, blank are we?" I looked up at him and said, "No, we aren't".  He shrugged his shoulders and said, "ok".  That was Travis!  We both laughed and became great friends from that moment on.  I will never forget the times we spent together! He was always so soft spoken, loved his music and always wanted to go to the movies! I remember he always had his Ipod, well Nano, for years. He carried that thing with him everywhere.  I first heard the expression, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" from Travis.  We would talk at times and when I asked a dumb question, he would say, "Does a bear shit in the woods, Dahling That was our friend word for eachother.  We were always laughing. He spent many nights, as he did with many of his friends and family, on my couch.  He said to me, Out of all the couches I have slept on, yours is the most comfortable" He always made me feel good inside.  He loved his family and his friends.  You could always count on Travis to make times with him "fun" :) My heart is so sad right now.  I miss his smile, laughter, knowledge, funny sayings and so many things. I will always keep him near.  I love you Travee, may God keep you laughing in Heaven...I'll see you again some day.............................One of your BFF's, Anita