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April 26
April 26
Poojya Babaji
44 years! 44 years without you...
You are still with me, I know. I dreamt of you last week after a year and 20 days. I don't see you often; though I think of you all the time.
Even now it doesn't seem real that all of you are gone. And I have so many things to ask and talk about!
Thank you for helping me show one way that I can pay tribute to you and do what Ammaji once suggested; one say to honour your memory; one way to try to repay a small part of debt I owe to all those who looked out for you when we left. It is not enough as I could never repay it but it is something. And yesterday's conversation while delivering meals shows me again how you are lighting my path forward. It did my heart good and gave me some peace.
Oh, how I wish... but it is all too late. I just hope that if there is a God, he has given you peace now. I will never know why he hurts people who are as devoted as you all were and who never lost faith even when there were reasons to. And I won't give him a pass thinking that he is testing or whatever else people say. I am to blame for a lot of your tears and pain and I am the only one I can try to ask for punishment for. God will have to do what he can to recompense for what he did.
On this day, and always -- I love you and miss you terribly.
Aapki Gudya
44 years! 44 years without you...
You are still with me, I know. I dreamt of you last week after a year and 20 days. I don't see you often; though I think of you all the time.
Even now it doesn't seem real that all of you are gone. And I have so many things to ask and talk about!
Thank you for helping me show one way that I can pay tribute to you and do what Ammaji once suggested; one say to honour your memory; one way to try to repay a small part of debt I owe to all those who looked out for you when we left. It is not enough as I could never repay it but it is something. And yesterday's conversation while delivering meals shows me again how you are lighting my path forward. It did my heart good and gave me some peace.
Oh, how I wish... but it is all too late. I just hope that if there is a God, he has given you peace now. I will never know why he hurts people who are as devoted as you all were and who never lost faith even when there were reasons to. And I won't give him a pass thinking that he is testing or whatever else people say. I am to blame for a lot of your tears and pain and I am the only one I can try to ask for punishment for. God will have to do what he can to recompense for what he did.
On this day, and always -- I love you and miss you terribly.
Aapki Gudya