Goodbye Debbie!
How do you say goodbye? How do you move on from someone who had been a part of your life for over 20 years. Hmmmm you left precisely two days shy of our 22nd wedding anniversary.
It happened so suddenly, without any anticipation. Definitely, unexpectedly. So saying goodbye was kinda forced....mechanical .... Spontaneous.
I still can remember it so vividly, as if it was last week. I came a bit late to the hospital that morning cos I over slept...a peaceful, deep sleep...from the Lord I guess. Lol.
The look in your eyes when I came in was like...I have been waiting for you...!!! Less than an hour later, you had left.
How can someone say goodbye at such dramatic exit. The next week was like a dream...so many activities, so many tears, so many fears...plenty drama...lol. How can I say goodbye to such a private person like you Debbie. You loved and cherished your privacy. Yes, you were public in your service but very private in your person. So here was I joining in this great celebration of life...with multitudes each mourning you in their own different ways...Thanks for friends and family.
Well, the realities of your departure have stared me in the face for the past 3 years. Life changed. I can't even describe it..but most of it is for good woo...I now can do many things on my own...things I took for granted because you were there...my helpmate...my wingman. But some aspects are hard. Like that nagging feeling of loss...separation...amputation.
I know that you have gone to a better place, I have no doubt you are very happy and contented. Am happy for you....all of us are...but we still think and talk about you with nostalgia. Sweet and sour. You were indeed an enigma, that silent but powerful force that can chip away at a mountain without notice, till the impact is felt only by the result produced. I miss you, I love you, we miss you so much.
Gladys, Richy and Immanuel are growing in amazing ways. I can't fathom the strength that Gladys exhibits...just reminds me of you. Rachel is growing into this beautiful lady and doing so well in school...and Imma is surprisingly becoming a man ...lol. There are struggles we are facing with your absence...but the Holy Spirit has been a strong tower. He has proved himself faithful and we are grateful.
Many of our family, friends, relations, colleagues and members find it difficult to come to terms with your departure...I hear it in their voice...I see it in their eyes. Death is a mystery indeed. A transition to glory...yet embedded with pain. I guess we, here on earth must also in a way learn to appropriate the glory you are enjoying. We must leave the pain and look at the gain in your transition. That way, we can enjoy the glory you are enjoying even here on earth. A woman in labour cannot hold on to the pain of childbirth after the child has been born! We must learn to embrace the joy, the glory, the peace and the presence of God you are enjoying and partake of it by letting you go.
Today, 3 years on I want to say goodbye Debbie. I choose to embrace your glory. I decide to say a proper goodbye fully understanding that there's a joy that is set before us, when we will all see him face to face. I choose to see you as the evidence that that glory is real...you are not late...you have only gone ahead of us. We partake in the glory of the inheritance promised us here on earth for which you are enjoying the fulness.
Bye Debbie