Durron, hi. You were such an integral part of my life. I had known, but had not appreciated how valuable you are in my and everyone's life you know. It is harder now then it was when I first heard, on valentine's day (I'll never have another one). I guess it's the ice from the shock of that lie finally melting. I was mad at the sun the day after, I couldn't believe it had the audacity to shine. Didn't it know you weren't here to see it! Now that I actually realize I have to live. I can't give up on myself, because I see the devastation it does to others, no matter how long they have known you. My tomorrows are only in GOD, and even though I have more family than I can count right now, all of them together can't amount up to you. I remember your kiss on my cheek when you saw me at the bus stop on 63rd and Troost. Boy, if I could just hold you a little longer, fix you another meal, play another game of dominoes, smoke another blunt with you, have another drink. LORD, if YOU could make it February 9th again, so I could say another prayer for him. Durron, I apologize for having had judged you, maybe if I wouldn't had asked you so many times to get a job and a place, you would've just kept doing your thang, and be here today, even if it were in jail or prison. I don't know. I do know that I called you on the 9th and thought you would get back with me eventually. Durron, I am sorry for whatever I did to you, said to you or thought about you that made you not trust, love or know that I had your back enough for you to come to me when all that stuff happened. I still feel guilty. And although I cannot make a pledge to you in your death, I have made a pledge to GOD to be a better person. I hope that I #always will be. I love you, I miss you and I hate that I cannot hold you. ps - I thought GOD stopped loving me when HE took you. Again, I apologize for not loving you how HE loved and loves, so graciously and kind, me. Luke 1:37