At Thanksgiving we are asked to count our blessings. And on this, her birthday day, we are absolutely blessed to have had Bette in our lives. I know I am. She was the dearest, kindest and most super fun friend ever. She will always be remembered and will always be missed. 
Love, Annie

Oh Bette....I am missing you so very much. Happy birthday!!So many birthdays shared...and all the wonderful Christmases shared....You were the sweetest godmother ever..Brooks loves you so much and You know that!! You helped raise that boy!!!I hope you hear me when I am talking to you...yes..I talk to you a lot dear friend!! I am lighting a candle for you and singing happy birthday..You are so loved!!

Bette, I have been thinking about you sooo much. You were my dearest friend and godmother to Brooks, who also loved you deeply. We both miss you ..There are so many times when I want to talk with you, tell you something, ask your advice....or just hear you wonderful laugh. I am so very thankful for our friendship..having you in my life and always there for Brooks. You would love seeing Jack these days..I'm so glad you got to see him as a baby.He is in kindergarten now!!! He has several of the books you left for Brooks.oh, dear Bette..you are so loved and always will hold a special place in my heart and in Brooks' heart.

As December 2021 approaches, it would have been Bette’s 74th birthday. And then sadly, later in the month, it will be the one year anniversary of her way too early death.
We celebrated a wonderful tribute to her, shared by so many on Zoom. Bette was a beautiful person inside and out. She lived, loved and laughed fully and with joy. Her countless friends were all blessed recipients of her large, inclusive heart. She is missed continually; sometimes with tears, sometimes with laughter. But Bette will always be remembered with a deep and abiding love.

I feel truly blessed to have had the privilege of meeting Bette through my sister Cathy. She truly was a light in a world sometimes filled with darkness. So descriptive of Bette to learn something new and make friends when she was lost on one of her journeys. My only regret was I didn't get to spend enough time with her. I know Cathy and Bette were very close and that Cathy is deeply grieving her loss.

Oh Bette, Bette, Bette! What can I say about you that hasn't already been said? Your love and compassion and friendship have touched so many and we all thank you.
I'm now realizing how fortunate I was to have shared special time with you, Gail and Cheryl during our Univ. of Redlands 50th Reunion. Being that our lives had been separated for years since our Salzburg experience, I wasn't aware of your battle with cancer. I obviously didn't have to ask a question seeing you that weekend with a scarf on your head. But you battled on and had many more months giving your love and compassion to others. We'll miss you!
And Gail, thanks for sharing the sheet folding video. I'm still wiping tears from my eyes.

Pepper Tree Colleagues by Lori Sortino

As we gather to share stories, memories and meaningful experiences of our dear friend Bette, I would like to give you a glimpse into who Bette was in her professional capacity as a speech and language specialist for more than 30 years, and what it was like to work alongside her. We were brought together to open Pepper Tree, a brand new school under the leadership of Sandy Hughes. I met Bette at our first Student Study Team meeting. She exuded friendliness, competence, and had contagious laugh that augmented her sense of humor. As a second year school psychologist, I was energized about being a part of the opening of a new school under Sandy’s leadership who is one of the most extraordinary educators I have ever worked with. Along with Bette, who served as our speech and language specialist, Marcia, worked as our Resource Specialist, completing our intervention team. Working with these extraordinary women taught me what is really meant by teamwork. Our team embodied cooperation, collaboration, communication, a deep capacity to listen and an innate respect for each other’s expertise. As I reflect back on this time, I have never worked with such a group of quintessential professionals…I have never worked harder… nor had more fun in the process.

For those of us who have had the privilege to work with Bette or have been one of the children who have had the good fortune to be helped by her, I will tell you that she brought her craft to an entirely new level. I say this because Bette brought not only expertise and professional competence to the table, she also brought a passion for helping kids, a curiosity as to why a student was struggling and a commitment to create programs that met her students’ unique learning needs. When we had a particularly challenging case, we would schedule time to discuss our assessments from each of our vantage points to see collectively what we were missing individually. There were no egos, just good work. Bette was a wonder to watch and inspired me to grow, learn and expand my competencies. She committed herself to fulfill whatever was necessary to better meet the needs of her students. When she experienced a language barrier with her Hispanic children and families, Bette took it upon herself to learn Spanish studying abroad in both Mexico and Costa Rica. This is just who Bette was.

No one worked harder than Bette or was more committed to her students. I recall a time when her caseload ballooned to more than 95 students which was an impossible workload even for Bette. She never resorted to the temptation to dismiss students before they were ready or to stop assessing or qualifying students in need for lack of space. Rather, Bette continued in her capacity as the exemplary professional she was. She never cut corners at the expense of her students, and was always prepared and thoughtful, as she met with parents, students and staff in more IEP meetings than one could count.

It is hard to imagine how many students lives Bette touched and the transforming impact that she had on their future. Brayden Harrrington, the13 year old boy who gave a powerful speech at the Democratic Convention in spite of his severe stutter, as well as Amanda Gorman, the new inaugural poet laureate who, despite having articulation challenges growing up, moved us with her words, confidence and grace, both came to mind. I envisioned the faces of the thousands upon thousands of students with whom Bette worked…those who stuttered, had tongue thrusts, those with articulation difficulties that couldn’t be understood and those who could not understand what was being spoken to them. She literally gave them their voices so that they could have the confidence to speak and understand what was being spoken. I wonder how these kids would have fared without Bette.

While there are many qualities I loved and admired in Bette, the one that inspired me the most is that she was always a “yes.” A yes to travel, a yes to new experiences, a yes to new people and relationships and a yes to what is possible in meeting the needs of kids. We each knew how special this team was and how fortunate we were work together. I remember Bette telling with me, that she shared how our collaborative team worked with her University of Redlands speech and language students so that they could create a collegial team of their own in their work environment. I am forever grateful to have worked alongside Bette and to have been a part of this dream team. It has been the privilege of my life.

Words of Love For Bette From Her Magnolia Sisters

Our work drew us together, but our love for one another kept us friends for over 30 years. We know we were not unique--- Bette collected many groups of friends, but we all know that she had the ability to make everyone feel like they were the only group in her life! She has achieved something special by joining us all together by the similarity of our journeys with her. We are here bound together by Bette’s love. The narrative of her life lives within the various friendship circles represented here---and what a beautiful story it is!

The Magnolia Circle came to be because we all worked for the San Bernardino County Superintendent of Schools -Linda Benson, Carolyn Tarris, Pauline Miles and myself, Amy Duncan. I was the only one who was not a Speech and Language Pathologist but, thank God, they let me in any way!  It is hard to remember all of the firsts in our relationship---we started out by just enjoying one another’s company. We began celebrating birthdays and holidays together and then, ended up as all of Bette’s groups did, focusing on even deeper friendship and, of course, traveling together. We made trips up and down the west coast and Pacific Northwest, Chicago, Canada and Mexico ---all made possible by monthly donations that “Bette Banker” would meticulously manage for us. Bette was one of two in our group who had a limited sense of direction. Some of our greatest memories are being lost and finding our way to our destination---laughing all the way.

Laughing together was, indeed, what we did. And, oh, how we laughed! With Bette at the lead, we laughed at ourselves, at one another, at current events and growing older. You could bet that within 5 minutes of gathering we would all be close to wetting our pants---and as we got older that became more problematic. We liked to say that we could only go to places one time because our riotous reputations would precede us. This was only a joke, because when you traveled with Bette you always made friends along the way. We even had wait staff at our hotel in Seattle invite us to their home! 

We took our group’s name from the movie the Steel Magnolias, because we navigated life’s ups and downs together. There was not a surgery, funeral, wedding or birth that we were not present for----our friendship certainly tells the story of our lives! Our bond matured as we did, and as a dynamic group, we would talk about things essential to our lives. Bette helped us navigate those conversations with love, gentleness and honesty. She would listen with an open heart and share herself with an open heart. 
Our children will tell you that they learned a great deal about the power of friendship by watching us.

To her core Bette was a teacher. She was a little person who held an enormous spirit, and we were fortunate enough to have her walk among us with such grace and love, showing us how to deal with all facets of life with wisdom and courage. In her, we beheld the gift of a life well lived and at the end of her life, we watched her show us the way home.

As her light dimmed on earth, it immediately began to shine brighter in the next. We know our memories of joyous times will help us see it. We can always tune into the “Bette Channel” and hear her words and see her beautiful face.  We can be connected to her spirit at any time—feeling her strength and love for us.
.
As we all joined one another in supporting her in her last days, we decided that Bette was indeed our Anam Cara---our soul friend. A soul friend helps you understand who you are, whose heart is always a home for you. Because this relationship exists at such a deep level, we can know that we are joined forever, and will continue to flow together no matter the distance. This is the promise of such a spirit as Bette’s---we can remain connected to her for all time. We get to keep the memories, we get to keep her wisdom, we get to keep her love.

Bette and I became friends when we were roommates at a B&B in France in 2010. When the owner who lived above our room heard us laughing loudly so often, she asked us what was so funny. Neither of us could explain what was so hysterical about discussing our various moisturizers, using an OCD approach to arrange our one closet, and scheduling times for our shared bathroom.

Bette’s love of people and her keen sense of seeing goodness in everyone was a gift to all who knew her. She had the endearing quality of listening with her heart in a way that always made me feel special. Her loyal friendship to many, the way she embraced life, her infectious laugh-- such an inspiration. What a bright star she will always be to us all!

May God hold you in his loving arms and give you peace.
Mary

As mentioned on Sunday, I want to share a favorite video of Bette. It is in the gallery section of this website. Here is the background:

In 2010, Bette went to Southern France with a group of friends. She roomed with my dear friend Mary, who lives in North Carolina. They hit it off amazingly well, and after that, Bette, Mary, and I gathered together in Healdsburg once a year. One of the reasons they liked each other so much, is that they realized quickly that they shared their “OCD” tendencies (as they described them) - Extremely organized, packing for trips several days in advance, a major focus on cleanliness (always having their “wet wipes” on hand), and much more. They teased me constantly about my more “laissez faire” approach to things (e.g. packing the night before for a month-long trip.).  They both have a fantastic sense of humor. 

One time when they visited me in Healdsburg, we were changing the sheets on one of the beds. Bette and Mary started folding the sheets, and Mary expressed her dismay in no uncertain terms that Bette did not know how to fold a fitted sheet properly. So this is Mary’s lesson to Bette on how to fold a fitted sheet.

Hello everyone: Thank you all for attending the celebration of Bette's life on Sunday. The video (with photos and music - 12 minutes) and the video of the entire memorial (1 hours 45 minutes) are in the gallery section on this website. 
Love to all of you!

I feel blessed to have been a small part of Bette's life and friends.
I am still finding it hard to see a picture of her and but know that at our next book club, she won't be there. I am the least read person in our small book club, but no matter how I struggled with some of our choices Bette always made me feel ok about it. It is so hard to believe someone so beautiful and so giving has been taken so soon. I will never forget her.

Bette's obituary published in The Claremont Courier, Claremont California, ran online January 22, 2021, in print January 29, 2021


Elizabeth (Bette) Bass passed away at home on December 21, 2020 after bravely fighting cancer. She was surrounded by the love of her many friends near and far. She is survived by dear friends Joanne Dierdorff and Gary Overstreet, godson Brooks Dierdorff, wife Melissa and their son, Jack, her many Clymer cousins and godson Michael T. Lisano. She is predeceased by her parents Elizabeth Clymer Bass and Thomas David Bass, and close friend Maury Durall. Bette and Maury shared a home in Redlands, and then Claremont for many years.

Born December 2, 1947 in El Paso, Texas, Bette went to elementary school in Albuquerque, New Mexico, She lived for a time with her grandparents in Steelville, Missouri, while her mother received treatment for cancer. Bette attended high school in San Mateo, California, graduating in 1965, and was chosen “Most Likely to Succeed” in her high school class.

Bette attended the University of Redlands, California, majoring in Communicative Disorders, graduating in 1969. She continued her studies at U of R earning her Master's Degree, and later becoming an adjunct professor. During her Junior year she spent one semester studying abroad in Salzburg, Austria, developing her love of travel. She had a variety of jobs to help pay for college and travel, including being a bartender at Jolly Roger in Riverside. Bette was employed by Riverside City Schools, but spent the majority of her career as a Speech and Language Pathologist for San Bernardino County Schools. She worked in many local schools, including Upland Elementary, Valencia and Pepper Tree in Upland. One of her favorite assignments was at the end of her career, working in Chino with preschool students with speech and language needs.

Bette was a lifelong learner. She saw the need to speak Spanish to help students and parents, so she studied here then immersed herself in language learning in Mexico and Costa Rica.  She spoke Spanish as she traveled with friends to Spain, Mexico and Cuba, always working to improve vocabulary and accent. She fully embraced the life and culture of every country she traveled. 

An amazing friend to many, Bette had a way of seeing through the eyes of love, the good, the positive, the best in everyone. Her generosity of spirit, her respect for all, her warmth and laughter made her a very special friend. She was a wonderful listener and was always honest, thoughtful and articulate in her interactions with others. She would light up a room with her smile and warmth. Bette had an unwavering positive attitude about life. She was an inspiration to many. As her friend, Amy, said, “Once you were her friend, you were tied together by heartstrings.” 

Bette enjoyed all of the arts, and was an avid reader of all genres of literature. She could discuss with clarity and depth the books she had read. She also loved all types of music, especially Opera, attending performances in Venice, Madrid, Santa Fe, and Los Angeles. She enjoyed summer evenings at the Hollywood Bowl, listening to a variety of music with friends. She also loved plays, holding season tickets to the Taper and Geffen for many years. She collected beautiful art.

Her favorite thing was travel. It was not uncommon for Bette to be packing for two trips at once. She would return from one trip just long enough to catch up on mail, before she was off on another adventure with a different group of friends. She traveled with cousins, friends from high school, college, and her teaching world. She was a traveler, not a mere tourist, and her beauty and eloquence opened doors and hearts around the world. Bette truly cherished and enjoyed adventure, discovering favorite places while lost, interacting with people, uncovering treasures, sharing good food, wine, music, art, history and most importantly, laughter. Bette's curiosity, knowledge, generosity, love of life, and warmth made her a wonderful friend and travel companion. She will forever be missed.

In lieu of flowers or other remembrances, if you wish, consider a donation to: Elizabeth Bass Student Travel Fund, University of Redlands Advancement Office PO Box 3080 Redlands, CA 92373-0999

An online memorial site is available to add your remembrances and stories of Bette at: elizabeth-bass.forevermissed.com

Hello friends, Here is the information about how to make a contribution in honor of Bette:

As an expression of sympathy, the family has suggested that contributions be sent in Bette’s memory to support travel grants for students who wish to study abroad in the University of Redlands Salzburg Semester Program and demonstrate financial need; these gifts may be made online at www.redlands.edu/givenow

Once you have filled out your information, simply direct your gift to the Elizabeth Bass Fund under Other Designations, and your gift will be directed to this fund.

OR you may mail your gift to:
University of Redlands
1200 E. Colton Avenue
P.O. Box 3080
Redlands, CA 92374
Please note, Elizabeth Bass Fund on the memo line of your check.

If you have any questions, please contact Char Burgess: Char_Burgess@redlands.edu

Anam Bette Cara



Vast world of words

Attempt to convey

Our love to you

At end of day



Words, the fabric

Of life so great

You helped us

All to share



With our words

Still searching

Our hearts now full,

So much more to say



Words forming

The mere surface

Of special times

Together



Reflecting your spirit

In memories held

Of days of wonder

And hearty laughter



Traveled companions

And college mates

All cherished gifts

All here



‘Anam Bette Cara’

God’s Promise

Dear Soul-friend,

Forever held within



For one so loved,

Beautiful,

Vibrant,

Bette Bass



Sweet travel now

Upon Angel wings

Our glistening tears

Shall light the way,

For you, God’s gift,

True and treasured

Friend

composed by Phil Lovelady