Time, they say heal all wounds. That's a big lie! At least in this case. It's 366days since you left us. Till now, I'm not sure I've gotten close to being healed. I still wet my pillow often. I still get that minor heart attack each time your thoughts run through my mind. Actually, I think of you everyday. I never imagined you won't be here by now. Seeing you lying lifeless was the cruelest thing ever! I was forced to accept you are gone. Time has not healed me yet, I've only learnt to pretend to be strong. I'm learning to accommodate the painful fact that you are gone.
4th of April 2015 was the worst day for us all. I woke very early feeling so uneasy. I felt this strong urge to call home. I called my Dad to ask of you and he told me they are on their way to see you at the hospital that things aren't so okay. I called my kid brother immediately and he broke the news of your demise. I couldn't hold myself. Chai Daannem! You? You couldn't even stay to get to 70. It's so hard to move on. Two Sundays after your demise was Mothers' Sunday. I unconsciously scrolled to your number to wish you Happy Mothers's day after I got off the phone with my mum. I broke down again at the thoughts of you in the morgue.
We all still feel the pains of the vacuum your death created. For everyone who knew you, you touched our lives s lovingly. Your father died very early and you carried the burden of his dreams. You went through a lot to see your younger ones through school. They didn't let you down. They are now Professors, Doctors and a Nurse. You still extended that love to us your children, nieces, nephews, cousins etc. I can't count the number of times you gave me pocket money and food stuffs when I was still in school. You never seized to encourage me. You celebrated me so greatly each time I achieve something new and even when there's nothing to celebrate, you blew my trumpets.
There should be a gap between your generation and ours but with you, one won't notice that gap. You understood us so well. You'd use our own slangs and flow with us while skillfully instilling moral values in us. How did you do that?
You hated trouble. You were known as a Peace-Maker.
Most times I still wish you are here, I'll still gladly massage your legs everyday and make noodles for you. No, I won't make fried ripe plantain for you. You didn't need it. G
I still wonder what afterlife is like. I really hope it's beautiful there. I'm sure you've met Nwajam - our granny? Tell her I miss her too. Have you met Papa Mejeha? Greet him for me. Tell him I've heard so much about him and the good seeds he planted germinated bountifully. Aunt Christy joined you 7months after you left. I'm sure you've received her? Her demise too broke our hearts. Tell her I love her. Do you people still pray there? If you do, please don't stop praying for us.
You redefined motherhood to me. I never felt I was only a niece to you. I miss you Daannem. I celebrate you always! Rest on!
