My grandma Fern was one of a kind. As I sit and reflect on her influence on my life, the main themes that come to mind are the example she set and her love. Fern was practically perfect in every way--to steal a line from Mary Poppins. It came naturally to her, and yet she set such a lofty example for the rest of us for how to live and how to love others.
She was thoughtful. I never went a birthday or Christmas without a card, but it didn’t stop there. She noticed and celebrated all my big life events. I believe she did that for the rest of her loved ones as well. She kept a calendar in the kitchen and it was filled with everyone’s milestones so that she could reach out on each special day. When I would call, her voice showed her delight in hearing from me in the “Hi Golden!” she would exclaim. We would spend long stretches on the phone, catching up and trying to solve problems I needed help with. It is wonderful to have someone make you feel so loved. Every time we’d visit her, she would prepare our favorite dishes for us. Mine was her famous Swedish pancakes, and my mom’s was banana cream pie. I think we always left our visits a few pounds heavier and a great deal happier.
She worked extremely hard, even into her last year. She maintained her house and property with such care. After every storm she would be found picking up sticks that had fallen from her many beautiful trees. She got out on her John Deere mower and took care of her massive lawn herself. She kept beautiful gardens of flowers and vegetables. She was a wonderful seamstress, could probably fix almost anything around the house, and never left a problem or chore abandoned for long. She was proactive. She also kept a busy schedule between social groups, her church, and her family. She handled her own affairs and finances, but she was also entrusted to do that for others. I can only aspire to be as capable and as disciplined as Fern now, let alone in advanced age.
She was also well-respected and liked by those who crossed paths with her. It was due to her grace and charm, but also to the notion that she truly cared about people. She was active in her church and found great comfort and meaning in that community. She tried to help wherever she could. Her no-nonsense approach to life was also tempered with the ability to slow down, see the beauty in things, and enjoy herself. She loved to laugh. In fact, there was often a twinkle in her eye as she would listen to you tell a joke or a funny story. She was not uptight or overly reserved. She clearly appreciated humor. She was also never the center of attention. Yet, she was truly someone you wanted to spend time with because it was pleasant to be around her. For a lady so small in stature, Fern had a giant influence in my heart and I am lucky to have known her.
As the years went by and I had to stoop ever lower to give her a hug and kiss, I knew this day would come eventually. I knew it would be extremely hard to let such a wonderful person go. I don’t know how to fill this hole in my heart that she occupied, so I will have to find ways to remember and honor her. I will forever be grateful for Fern’s love and example and I will cherish my memories of our time together.