Hey jus.
I know it’s been a while I’ve been avoiding come on here. So much has been going on and so much has changed. I really think you’d be proud of me. Our kid is amazing and idk what I would do without him. I put on this front like I’m ok for everyone but I’m truly struggling with you not being here. I talked to your mom today and she told
Me uncle Kenny was in an accident.. I knew as much as I didn’t want to I had to throw myself together and be there with your dad. I did & it was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a while. Walking into the same hospital and seeing him like that triggered the day I lost you all over again. I’ve been laying in bed for hours replaying that morning over and over again. Questioning myself if i made the right decision.. I really need you right now to hear your voice or feel you kiss my forehead just to have your arms around me telling me
It’s ok. Jordan’s tries so hard to comfort me which makes me feel even worse. I don’t understand why you, why did you have to leave us like this. I need you, Jordan needs you. Please give me the strength to push thru this and continue to watch over us. I love you Justin always and forever.

Today should be filled with non frosted cupcakes a and peanut butter and salami sandwiches

Happy Heavenly Birthday Justin

It’s been pretty rough lately. I think about you all the time. Kind of hard not with your mini u running around my house. He is the light of life, so genuine, no filter, a little respectful knucklehead. We talk about you often, I truly missed you over the holidays. They same time heals all wounds you left a hole in my heart. I still get mad, I still cry, I still struggle to understand. I know you are up there with your eyes wide open. Please continue to visit Jordan please give Melissa the strength she needs.

I love you

Hey jus.
I have so much to say but can’t find the words to express myself without crying. I miss you, every part of you even the parts that annoy me. I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water at times. I just wanna hide out and remember the good times. But I don’t wanna cry. Not one tear because I know how mad you would get when I cried in front of you. Even with 3.5 years passing without you I still jump every time I hear a movie thinking it’s you walking thru the door. Watching our son grow up and see so much of you in him and all the traits of me you couldn’t stand makes me wanna laugh but cry at the same time. I miss you, this was supposed to be our happily ever after.

Hi, it’s me. Those
Man Justin, I miss you. I’m struggling to be in the Christmas spirit without you here. I’m really struggling to keep my head up and do it big like we would do together but it’s not easy. I miss you, I miss your yeah Christmas spirit. I miss shopping for you and arguing with you because you won’t allow me to give your Christmas presents early. I miss staying up late with you and wrapping presents. I miss looking under the tree to see presents to “Princess” from “Miklo” this has been the hardest year for me without you here.

Hi daddy.
It’s been hard lately to sit down and write you, but I’m still standing. I miss you, I miss us. I miss how excited you would be on thanksgiving morning. I have so much to be thankful for but more than anything I’m thankful for our son. The baby you left me with, your jr. as much as he is like me he also reminds so much of you. I don’t know what I would do without him, he keeps me on my toes at all moments the way you would. Happy thanksgiving baby daddy. I love you, thank you for leaving me with the biggest piece of you. Even though most days I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off I got this. I’ll forever hold it down for you & our baby. Happy thanksgiving my love

Hi, it’s me again, it’s been a rough one so it took me a while to sit down and write you. Now that your sons asleep I can write this. I miss you, I’m struggling with accepting out story was cut short. I watched you evolve on several different way but being a daddy was the most important one. I knew from the moment you took on the uncle role you were meant to be a daddy. I cried today more than usual, this whole week has been so hard for me. Today was intense, I’ve been in My feelings and missing you a lot, but Jordan, he’s going thru something else. We were talking today while I got ready to go to the doctors after work.. I was in the bathroom and he was in the hallway, right outside the bathroom door and opened the closet where I keep your jackets. He asked me, mom why do you have my dads clothes.. I responded with because he used to live with us before we moved into grandmas house.. he looks so confused.
J: daddy didn’t take his clothes with him?
M: no, he couldn’t..
j: but why?
M: honey you know today is one of our sad days
J: Is that because you miss daddy and uncle Jon.
M: Yes Jordan
J: Is my daddy dead
M: yes son
J: because he was in the car
M: yes
J: and they were speeding
M: yes
at this point I was falling apart...
J: and they crashed into a wall
M: ......
J: and you tried to save them
M: baby I couldn't save them
J: and the to doctors tried
M: yes they tried their hardest..
J: and now they're angels.

I started typing this on your anniversary and I haven't been able to sit down and find the strength. Im having a really hard time. All I do is cry constantly, Jordan is just now grieving and he knows so much already, no one can figure out where he found out so much information from. He's been talking a lot about you and the fact that your gone, which is so hard to hear because even though I know and I have accepted it.. hearing him say it breaks my heart. I don't know what to do or what to say. Im in therapy and he's waiting to get into a therapist to help us process, but there is a awaiting list for him. So for now I have to just let him talk and he expresses himself through his art. He used to draw himself in my belly standing with you, tonight he drew you with bandaids all over you. and then drew a picture of me with your kiss on my cheek and a bandaid on my heart because when people die that's how your heart breaks. I don't know how to do this. Im at a loss for words, I keep telling myself Justin would tell me to put my big girl panties on and handle this but I don't know how to do that I am trying. I love you, I miss you, I need you

Justin,
   I'm losing it, I'm falling apart. I don't know how to do this anymore. I feel so lost, I feel broken I feel like I'm letting you and Jordan down. This year hurts. This year I can't hold it together. I don't understand, WHY? why did you and Jon have to leave us. What do I do, How am I suppose to raise this little boy by myself. My back is against the wall and I'm fighting to get off it. Jordan starts school this week and I can't even look at him without crying. He needs you & Jon, I can't teach him the things you guys could of. I don't understand the things he's going through. I am trying my best to be strong of him but he's the one being strong for me. He has so much of you in him, its unreal. We all take a step back and just watch or listen because we all see and hear you. When I was crying the other day Jordan came up to me and asked me what was wrong "is it because you miss my dad & uncle Jon?" I nodded and tears flew down my face. he told me "its ok mom, they are here they see us we just can't see them" it broke my heart into a million pieces. Keep visiting him, keep watching him, keep guiding him. I know I'm letting you down by being so sad all the time & always crying lately but I miss you. I miss your hugs, I miss your laugh, I miss you.

Hi babe,
   Its been rough to say the least, my emotions are all over the place, one day I'm fine the next I wanna climb into bed and hide under the covers. I am trying so hard to fight for what's right but feel like I am banging my head against a wall. I wish you were here to push me, I feel like I'm failing some times because its just me trying to hold it together for Jordan and I. He's getting ready to start TK at the big boy school and I know I am going to cry my eyes out. I just know he's going to be fine and make all kinds of friends but he's growing up on me. We just got back from Joe & Rosies a few days ago, spent some time with our niece and nephew. Jordan was amazing with them. So patient and kind, he's truly just an amazing kid in general. We miss you so much, last night he told me "I wish my dad could visit us" so please visit him in his dreams he needs you. Its hard to believe we're coming up on 3 years with out you and Jon, I don't know where time has gone. Feels like yesterday we were all sitting in our living room laughing and clowning on Jon. I miss you both so much, its crazy.

HI, it’s me. I know it’s been a while. It’s been rough & chikita is here but I wanted ti stop and tell you I’m sorry I didn’t write to you on Father’s Day. I was out of town all day at shrimps basketball fundraiser, can you believe he’s going to Chiba to compete. Mindblown & I’ve been so stressed over my car but it’s finally fixed and back to running even better. I wanted to take a moment to tell you HAPPY ANNIVERSARY❤️ I love you always & forever. You changed my life the moment you walked in the door at gabs, it was the night we all started our journey together. We were all inseparable. I wish you were here, I wish we were celebrating our anniversary, I miss you. I miss everything about you even the things I hated about you. Our kid is amazing, I’m sure you know. He’s such a lover but still a fighter. He’s my little sidekick. Thank you for giving me him. Thank you for choosing me. No matter what we love you honor you & talk about all the time. There’s so much more I have to say but I cut the grass & eyes are open you know what I mean. Visit me but most importantly visit jordan. We miss you.

Some days, are much harder than others. Missing you is an understatement.
Please continue to watch over all of us, please continue to visit Melissa in her dreams, please send her strength. Life is not easy without you.

Hi,
   Its Mothers Day today, and even though its supposed to be about me it made me apprciate you and Jordan so much more. Thank you for giving me our beautiful little boy, he's extra sassy lately but I wouldn't change him for the world. This past weekend we spent it in Bodega Bay with Daniel & Gabby, Robert & Karina and Kaitlyn. We were right on the water, just a little trail from the house and we were right there, you would of loved it. Jordan had an absolute blast playing in the ocean, playing in the sand & running from waves. I almost didn't let him go down the trail because I didn't think he would make it, so Daniel carried him down but when it was time to leave Little Chris carried him half way & your son pushed through the rest not even going to lie he did way better than me going up hill, I was struggling. As much as I love our family trips it makes me miss you more.We're doing the things we planned on doing together. Jordan loves vacationing we just got home today and he's ready to pack up and take off again. He had everyone laughing and was always eating something we went to that spot we stopped at when we were out that way and he had a grilled cheese & French fries, same thing you ordered. He slept the whole way there and the whole way home. Jordan is now in the pranking stage, he loves to prank me & when he's not pranking me he tells me "Mom you're embarrassing me" but that's only when he gets in trouble and there's people around. I wish you were here, I'm sure if I had both of you shoot, all 3 of you with Jon I would have grey hair by now. He's such a little sour patch kid, he's all cute and cuddly and then he puts sand in my hair, or tells me mom you look so pretty but you need eyelashes on. I just want to tell you, Jordan is beyond blessed to have Uncle Dan, he really kept his promise and is there for Jordan no matter what. Gabby and I were cracking up yesterday, after we ate Daniel wanted to run into the market to grab something else but he was holding both the boys hands, so he turns and tells the boys "ok boys go to your moms" We started dying because people probably think we're sister wives. I don't even feel bad for him because he accepted us as a package deal when we all started hanging out in the beginning. Well I better get your son to bed, he napped the whole way home & is currently gaming in the other room. We love you always.
xo. liss

Hi sweetheart miss you sad cash boy died and I know he is with you now it hurts so bad I know you loved him so much and he was sad not having you come say hi now I feel another piece of you is gone I cried and so did dad going to miss the boy that’s for sure baby has been looking for him and wines we miss you Justin if you only knew how are life’s have changed see you on the other side love you baby

Hello sweetie you are so missed never did I think you would leave before me or your dad our life has been hard without you every where I go reminds me of you. Still cry everyday and sit in your room thinking about our times together I love how you visit us I sure miss your family of three and would do anything to have that again in my life love you son moms birthday is Saturday wish you were here to be with me love you sweet heart and miss you so much love mom

Hi! It’s me again.
Sorry it’s been a while but vacation has been so good to us. You would love it out here, we miss you but Jordan is so much like you it’s like having you here with us. He has everyone laughing uncontrollably or extremely annoyed with his antics. He’s so funny and loves music, he’s always singing or talking shit to someone, I guess he gets that from both of us. My sister made salsa & her hot wings and we laughed as soon as I said I’m craving hot wings but they have to be her hot wings she said “ok Justin”. This life without you is so crazy but I’m holding it down, our boy is so spoiled & has everything he needs, wants and more. We love you♥️ I could really use one of your talks today my heart is so heavy & my mind is so cloudy. I’ve been working most of our vacation both the side business & my full time job so I haven’t had as much down time as he has but it’s worth it to see him smile so much. He’s surrounded by so much love, I’ve never seen this side of him. Wish you were here with us but I know your watching over us.

Hi there,
It has been a minute, sorry.
It has been a challenging with Jordan lately. I would not change our relationship for all the tea in in China. Yesterday, was his birthday I can not believe the handsome loving and caring boy he has grown into. I am so proud of Melissa, there is nothing this boy events wants, he has Everything and then some.
He and Katelyn are more like brother and sister, she loves him and he hates her and he lioves her she hates him. I drove them to the airport yesterday, spent most of the ride home crying, 4 years gas gone by. I can still feel the hug you gave me as you walked through those double doors at the hospital almost falling to your knees, barely able to talk, “He is here and he us beautiful” as the tears flowed from both our eyes. Thank goodness I gave that memory. I hold it clise to my heart.

Now 4 years later, I have trouble deciding who is he more like you or Melissa. I miss the shit of you Justin, I am so. Blessed to have the biggest part of you call me Grandma.
Please continue to watch over us, visit us in your dreams. Please stop messing with my lights…..Katelyn keeps telling you, Justin go home!!. She misses you too, we talk about you alot. Can you believe she is going to be 8.

At this time 4 years ago we were arguing over you setting up the tv & dealing with your crazy cable management. 4 years ago we went to bed thinking we just had a normal doctors appointment and we’re admitted into the hospital. It’s so bad to want to celebrate when your not here with us. Jordan’s amazing, and lately his attitude and temper is all you, I’ll take credit for the smart mouth and side comments but the temper tantrums and the tic for tac game he tries to play with me is all you. He’s driving me crazy he so cute but so mean at the same time. I’m losing it over here with the gaming, I am not built for this. I watched you and Jon do it now our kid is all into it and it’s worse than the two of you gaming. I haven’t been sleeping much there’s so much on my mind and you know how I do birthdays, the whole month is a celebration and it’s kicking my butt with your spoiled kid. I wish you were here, I wish he could have met you, I wish I was watching you to bond instead of me telling him what you were like. Nothings what we planned our life would be but I’m trying and I’m honoring your wishes. He’s amazing and his hair is still banging, it’s down to his butt, I learned to braid so we keep it braided now as soon as he gets out the the bath it gets braided. We love you, thank you for giving me our blessing. Cheers to 4 years of being parents. We talk about our horrible labor and delivery experience and laugh. As hard as it was for both of us I’m glad we agreed to have those moments just us two. I’m thankful we decided to not let anyone in the room with us and we did not allow visitors. I’m thankful for the time we had to bond with jordan with minimal interruptions those moments I cherish more than anything. Jordan is and will always be our son. I will always honor you and protect Jordan from everything we hated about our own childhood. You’d be proud of me Jus, I work my butt off with Jordan right here by my side with my regular job and my business. We always said our son, our responsibility, I don’t expect or accept anyone to do anything for us. Like you always said “she got this” & I do. Everyone always says “Lissa Justin is so proud of you, everything you face your still pushing” I hope you are proud I hope you see how much love our little house is filled with. We jumped into this and decided he’s ours and only ours and that’s how it’s been since the day you left us. I miss you, I go nights without sleeping just thinking about all our talks and plans and what my next move is, I watch jordan sleep amazed how he’s so much like you. I watch over him like a hawk to make sure nothing ever happens to him. Losing you taught me so much, I’ll never take time for granted or not fight for what I believe in, I’ll never cower down to someone or waste my time arguing, time is too precious to give it to just it to anyone. I love you, slap Jon in the back of the head for me. I’ll see you when I get there, until then watch over our son. He misses you guys.

I wish I could bring you back. It’s another hard night for us. Jordan only wants to talk about you. How he misses you and he wishes you were here. Tonight I pulled out your suavacito and I was braiding his hair. He of course was mad and said I just want my dada. I want him to come home mama. I finished up and pulled him into my lap. I explained what happened more in depth than I ever have, he grabbed me and cried out I miss my dada. We cried together and we talked about what happened and I explained to him the doctors tried to make you better and they couldn’t, so I played videos of him talking and giving bessitos as we let you go to sleep forever. He asked me the question I’ve been dreading answering this whole time, he asked “mama is my dad dead” I looked at him, a nodded yes baby. We cried together. He said mama I’m just so sad, so I told him just because we can’t see you doesn’t mean you aren’t here. I told him your a spirit your always watching us and making sure your ok. He asked is my dad a ghost with uncle Jon and then he looked at me with his big brown eyes and said I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t know what to say or do anymore to comfort him, he’s so confused. I’m the only one who has these talks with him, I’m the only one he goes to looking for answers. It’s just me hanging on by a thread. I thought losing you guys was hard on me but it’s a million times harder watching our son go through it and not being able to fix it for him. He loves and misses you so much that he cries and I can do is love him and wipe his tears. There’s so much going on and I’m beyond over whelmed with everything going on with work and planning his birthday trip but he always comes first, lately he needs extra hugs and kisses and a lot of confirmation that I love him and it’s always going to be us. He says “it’s you and me mom?” And I say “yes me and you” he always asks “mama do you love me” or “mama will you always take care of me and protect me” and I says of course. It’s hard Jus, it’s really hard. He hates seeing me upset he absolutely hates when I cry but whenever we have these deep talks I can barely hold it together, I have to lean a lot on our little village to pull me out of it and push me to be strong to remind me I am a great
Mom and how proud you are of me. To life me
Out of the dark place I drift into and remind me how lucky jordan and I are to not only have each other but have you watching over our every step. We love you and miss you beyond measure. I definitely could use one of you “it’s me and you against the world baby, we’re just building our empire” talks right about now. I love you, Im going to build that empire we dreamt of
I promise.

Jordan’s brought home his school art project today, I was a heart with 8 squares in it and it said “I love you to 8 pieces” on the bottom it’s said “love is dada, mommy & my lizards” his little mind is always thinking about you. I’ll always keep your alive and vivid for him even though it’s hard and breaks my heart. We love you so much

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ♥️
I miss making you my cheesy little gifts thst you thought I was crazy for making but appreciated each and every one of them. I wish I still had them to give to Jordan but I have each and every card/note you’ve ever given me over the years. Jordan and I made his valentines for his friends to give out & he’s so excited. He’s wearing his “daddy shirt” his flannel & a t shirt that says “loverboy” to school. I was laying her looking at pictures and reading old posts on Facebook… outta no where Jordan woke up and climbed up next to me and said “I just want my mama”, he never wakes up in the middle of the night let alone talks. It’s almost as if you told him your mom needs you and he came to cuddle. He misses you, he’s so confused but he’s slowly starting to understand, everyday I hear “I miss my dad and uncle Jon” . He’s such a loving little boy, he’s so expressive about who he cares about and his mama is number one. The kid always wants to know where I’m at and what I’m doing, he’s always right next to me, he doesn’t fit in my lap anymore so he settles for curling up next to me on the couch. Happy Valentine’s Day daddy, we love you, I’m going to make him cupcakes tomorrow while he’s at school and I’ll
Make sure there’s at least one with no frosting for you. Fly high my guy, you’re truly missed

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY.
I tried my best to hold it together today, I tried not to cry but we all know I am a big ass cry baby. I worked today so in my down time I looked over old pictures and videos I have saved from over the years, I watched videos and laughed until I cried. We had a small family dinner with my parents and Kate, like we did every year. We ate cupcakes with no frosting and sang happy birthday to you & uncle Jon. Jordan told the candles " I love you daddy and Uncle Jon" before he blew it out. That's when I broke. After they left Jordan came up to me in the kitchen and said "mama its ok to be sad I miss daddy and uncle Jon too but they are still our family" and he hugged me, you guessed it I started balling my eyes out and he wiped my tears and said "its you and me mom". It breaks my heart that our 3.5 year old has to wipe my tears, that he sits in my lap and tells me how much he loves and misses you and uncle Jon. He's amazing Justin, simply amazing. He danced around the living room throwing up the thizz. He licked the top of his 3rd cupcake before I could take it away so he could have one more, rule is he gets to eat one for you and one for Jon. He's been through so much its literally been a rollercoaster of emotions but he's still the happiest loving kid you'll ever meet. We did one thing babe, we made an amazing little boy. Times are hard, he's starting to understand a little more in depth of what happened and why you aren't here. I wish I could take him to see you at the cemetery, thankfully Joe has stepped up and is the best Tio we could of asked for. He loves Jordan like he's his own, answers every FaceTime call and sits on the phone with Jordan for how ever long Jordan wants to talk or play. I busted my ass last year to make you proud and now I am planning Jordans birthday trip, wish you were here to go with us, you know I will be stressed all the way until we get off the plane. I am fulfilling all your hopes and dreams for raising our son. He loves school, he's a big healthy boy, he has everything we didn't and then some. Most importantly he loves his daddy. He talks about you all the time, to anyone that will listen. He has pictures of you all over the place and in his iPad and yes Justin Jordan has a cellphone, I got it for him so he can call Joe whenever he wants. He has pictures of you and he asks me questions about you. He listens to your music and he has your dance moves. He's always with me and when he's not at school and if he's with his grandma or at a friends he call to check in and tell me he misses me. He's a homebody when he's ready to go he has no shame in announcing "I wanna go home". His best friend is Logan, Gabby and Daniels son. They are literally like brothers, they FaceTime all the time almost everyday. Oh and I was with Ebonys family this weekend, shes finally having a little boy Jordan is over the moon about being a big godbrother to a boy, he's not to fond of his godsisters. Pops still has your lanyard with him in his caddy, he Told me, "I got my boy with me always". You are so loved and missed. We celebrate you everyday but today you were celebrated a little extra. Next year I promise you will get your all white party and I will serve Ribs and make sure that Lacie makes the good MacNCheese, and Joe wants peanut butter and salami sandwich appetizers. I love you to the moon and back. Visit Jordan in his dreams so he can tell you happy birthday.

Happy birthday son oh how I would do anything to have you here with me I miss you so much Justin and so does dad are life’s we’ll never be the same grandma we’ll be seeing you soon please look for her happy happy birthday son love you mom

Happy Birthday Justin. Nit a single day goes by without thinking of you.
I sure miss making you your birthday dinner and cake without frosting. What I would not give to wish you a happy Birthday in person. Tonight we will celebrate you.

Hi Justin miss you seeing grams she is in the hospital and not good I wish you were here I sure could use your advice she is going home on hospice and don’t give more than 10 days so yes it’s hard losing you was enough but now my mom it’s hard Justin this is when I need you the most look over her please love you son

Hi, it’s me again.
I wish heaven had a phone. I’m struggling Justin, I’m really having a hard time going through this all over again but with Jordan now. He brought home a drawing of his family last week and it dress you in the sky. Man I cried and cried and cried. He misses you, he tells me “mama I miss my daddy” he asked if he could have your phone number so he can call you and when I yell at him he cries for you. It’s so hard watching our child cry and not be able to fix it, the other night he asked me “does my dad like to dance” and I said all the time, he said “did you drink beer with my dad” and asked if you and his god brother have dance parties, I told him probably, he has so many questions. Visit him please talk to him he needs it. We love you Justin. Always and forever

HAPPY NEWS YEAR DADDY.
It’s been a rough few days, all Jordan talks about is his dada. I busted my ass in 2022 to make you proud I’m only going to go harder in 2023. We miss you down here it’s just not the same. Visit Jordan in his dreams he needs you. Love you always, Liss.

Yesterday was Christmas, another year we fake it until we make it. No matter how many holidays pass I can’t shake that empty feeling, the part of our family that is missing. As we sat down to a beautiful rib roast, mashed potatoes and grilled Asparagus, and A1, because Jordan just like you can’t live without it. I couldn’t help but to think how much you would have enjoyed Xmas dinner, don’t worry Jordan ate enough for both you. Rest in peace dear Justin until we meet again.

Merry Christmas Daddy,
I’m sure you got a kick out me trying to put together the hot wheels track and trampoline Jordan had yet another successfully
Spoiled Christmas. He got everything he asked for except the dog. But he got an interactive pet dinosaur so I’m pretty sure he’s happy. All he wanted to get me is a marriage ring this year, so he can marry me. With the help of his grandma that’s just what I got, an opal ring, when I opened it he yelled “SEE MOM I GOT YOU A MARRIAGE RING” we opened presents at 5 am, we ate whatever was in his stocking for breakfast opened all the toys and napped before we headed out for Christmas dinner. It’s never any easier, esch holiday that passes we get a little
Stronger and learn how to deal with the pain. Merry Christmas babe,
We love you

Hey babe.
If there was ever a time I need you it’s tonight, I need you to visit your son in his dreams. He misses you so much. Today I had to tell him what happened and watch his heart break in front of me, but I know you gave me the strength to push through. We keep you so alive and vivid in our home, since school has started it’s only been harder for him because he doesn’t have you to pick him up or drop him off. Today he asked me “mama why doesn’t my daddy come home like my cousins” and continued to tell me how much he misses you. We sat down and talked about what happened and we cried together. For thanksgiving her brought home his project and it said “Jordan is thankful for mommy & daddy” I wish there was a way for me to fix this, for me to mend his broken heart but I can’t without you here. I need you to visit him in his dreams and tell him it’s ok. Everyday we talk about you, when he’s mad at me he says “I’m going to tell my dad and he’s going to whoop you” he tells me the most random things all the time, he’s I’m not sure why but he keeps telling me “mom when my dad took me camping he lost me and I couldn’t find you or dad…” i say “Jordan when did we go camping?” His response “when I was 6 mama duh” and he’s so serious. He loves going to Casper’s, he walks in with his money in hand or my debit card and goes straight to the counter “I want sour cream chips, Casper dog with cheese and ketchup and a lemonade” everyone in there gets such a kick out him. He pays everytime and grabs the food and heads for the door “thank you have a good night drive safe”. We miss you down here, no matter what’s going on your always on my mind and forever in our heart.

Ps. Tell him he can not have dog anytime soon.

Justin just want you to know I miss you so much I feel so empty so many people talk about you all saying what a good man you were everyday someone says something I never knew you knew so many people and the love they have for you you are so remembered son never forgotten your truck is the same and still smells like you we are fixing the things you wanted to do and the truck we’ll be Jordan’s might be out dated by then but it we’ll mean something to him being it was yours I love you so much keep visiting us son tell we meet again love mom

As time passes, it is still standing still. Today was a strange day for me. Someone reached out to me, a stranger and told me she needed to tell me something, she began to tell me that you were but in this life on a contract, sent here to teach us, you were a very proud man. Something happened 2 days before you left us, whatever it was you wanted to share it with me, it was something you were very proud of. She told me you were very close with your mom and dad. She told me that our paths met in a previous life.
I still cry, I still get angry. Thank you Justin for leaving the best part of you here. Jordan is 100% you. Hard to forget you, not that we ever would. You are very much alive and talked about and remembered here. Katelyn is 7 now and still talks about you, Your picture is in her room. Fly high our Angel from above. Please continue to watch over us.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Holidays are never easy without you. Our last thanksgiving we hosted for the first time. We all wore Christmas Jammie’s today, you would of totally boycotted that idea. Jordan at the turkey leg and mashed potatoes and of course my mamas home made rolls. I still listen for your laugh when we’re all talking, I miss you. Jordan told me I’m so thankful for my mommy & daddy. Broke my heart but you are so alive and vivid in our home, it makes me happy to hear him talk about you. He’s manifesting a dog for Christmas he keeps telling me we need one and he’s getting one this year. Visit him in his dreams and tell him no for me. I know if you were here we would already have one, but not quiet yet. We love you daddy♥️

Justin I have to say it only gets harder we miss you so much you are on my mind everyday life we’ll never be the same keep talking to me Justin I can’t get over you gone I cry and ask why my baby left us all you are so loved and missed love you babe tell we meet again

Halloween, our first real holiday together. I took the kids trick or treating this year by myself and all I could think of was you. You would of loved our ghostbuster theme this year and how creepy your kid is. I keep hoping it will get easier but the more time that passes it seems to get harder. We love you daddy more than you ever knew, you were our home, didn’t matter where we were as long as we were all together, fly high babe. Happy Halloween.

Hey babe.
Man I miss you, my birthday came and went but it still feels so empty without you, but we drankkkkk for you all weekend. I miss you singing to me or serving me shots in bed because I was too tired to come out the room. I wish you were here with us, every moment of everyday I’m thinking of you. Jordan knows what happened, kinda but enough that im going to be having the talk with him soon, wrap your arms around him visit him he misses you. I love you Justin.

We love you daddy♥️
Jordans been asking so many questions lately, he misses his daddy so much, he also doesn’t like me and likes you more ‍♀️. Keep visiting him in his dreams he needs you more than anyone.

Our boy started school today, he was over the moon excited he just took off without saying bye to me. He loved it! He made friends, made a friendship bracelet, played with bugs & didn’t cry for me once. You must of been right the guiding him because he sure didn’t care about leaving me. Wish you were here to see how amazing our son is, be proud he’s incredible in every way. He’s going places in life, and I’ll be one step behind him cheering him on. You should be proud of me, I didn’t cry… almost but not quite I held together! We love you daddy♥️

Well Justin, today makes two years without here with us, honestly I don't know how I made it through the last week but I'm sure it was you helping me through. I miss you more today than I did yesterday and ill continue to miss you more and more for the rest of my life. I miss our life together, the life we built for our little family, but I am trying my best to hold it together and continue to do for our son the way we planned to all by myself. Not a moment goes by I am not thinking of you, im not thinking of our laughs, our late night talks and all our dreams we had for our future. Today you would of been proud because some how I got out of bed and kept pushing through. today marked the worst day of my life, the day our life fell apart and no matter how much I try I can't put it back together. Justin you are our home, our peace of mind, our security, our life, without you its hard to make sense of anything. I am trying but I miss you. Our love for each other was something no one else understood, they just know that we loved each other very much. I run into people and they tell me, "Justins face would light up when he would talk about you and Jordan" We love you to the moon and back more than all the stars in the sky. I hope our butterflies made their way to you & sent your Jordans little whispers. I love you Justin.. Vatos Locos for life Carnal, you'll always be my Miklo.

Just coming on by to let you know there’s not a day we don’t think of you! We miss your bad jokes and dancing and esp. how much you would make Lissa laugh. I know you’re watching over your little family from up there. Keep sending them signs forever Pokémon hunting friends ! Lol we had the best time!

2 years is creeping up on us & I'm a mess, watching videos of you from when we first got together and hearing your voice just killed me. I try not to watch them because it breaks me. You would be so proud of of our son, we were watching a video of you in our old apartment and I started crying and he looked at me and said "what's wrong mommy, you miss my dad" I said "yes baby I miss daddy" & his response "its ok mommy don't cry I miss my dad too" & wiped my tears and hugged me tight. He's so much like you and so freaking smart, too smart for his own good to be honest. We all call him Justin by accident especially me when I am yelling at him. We miss you so much it literally hurts, but trying my best to hold it together. watch for our butterflies, were sending them straight to you and uncle Jon filled with our secrets and love. We love you daddy.

Hey Bro. Can’t believe how fast time has gone. We all miss you and hold the memories we have with you close. We still talk about you often and always cheers a few extra times cause we know you would be saying it lol. Love you bro.

Happy 4th of July.
Its truly not the same without you. I know you and Jon are up there having blast probably doing all the things I would be yelling at you not to do. This was one of your favorite holidays. I remember our first 4th of July together 2016 I told Gabby I always wanted to be kissed under the fireworks & she told you. So in the middle of us all hanging out at the 10th st house, you walked up to me grabbed me and kissed me the most awkward kiss ever and said "here's your firework kiss" and walked away. 2017 we spent the evening at my sister at the Dana house with the kids lighting off fire works and I was as happy as could be to be with the most important people in my life. 2018 we took my favorite picture of us at my parents bbq with Katelyn & 2019 we did another Breiter 4th of July BBQ. 2020, our last 4th of July together you were sooooo happy to have all of the Breiters over to our little apartment to light off fire works with all the apartment kids and Ebonys family. I miss your laugh I miss your patriotic spirit I miss your goofy sense of humor and all the heartaches you gave me lighting fireworks. I hope the up there was amazing and you enjoyed every moment of it. I love you always & forever. until we meet again ill keep always keep your name & memory Alive

Today should of been our 6 year anniversary. All day you've been heavy on my mind, thinking back to the day you walked into Gabbys the moment we first kissed and how I broke my phone that night. How hard we tried not to admit we were falling for each other and how hard we tried to push each other away, but we were both too hard headed to let go. You literally witnessed every aspect of my life before we even got together. You still accepted me for who I am and everyone that comes with me. I need you, I put a smile on like I am ok but my life doesn't feel complete without you. When I can't sleep I replay conversations we had in my mind and think about what our life was supposed to be like together, all our plans and goals we made. The little brother or sister we would be trying to have right now so Jordan wouldn't be an only child. Most days I am hanging on by a thread, and the only thing that keeps me sane is knowing you wouldn't want me crying or upset you would want me to push through and continue to provide for our son. I wish you were here Jordan needs you, I need you we all need you. Happy Anniversary my love, forever & always your princess.

Happy Fathers Day, something is always off when we have a gathering with my family and you are not there. Like that lump in the bottom of your stomach and you just cant figure out what is missing. Yesterday was you….. Even know Jordan is surrounded with love and a Papa and Tio Joe make sure he is rough and tough and Melissa is the best mom/dad she can be we still want you to know you are loved and missed. Every little annoying thing you did to bother me out if love, totally would give anything to have you back, your son has inherited all of those things, he is arrogant, persistent, down right loves music and silly dancing. You may have left us way to soon you left us with a carbon copy of you. Right down to the A1 and ketchup.
Love and miss you always Mana Bear……

Happy Father’s Day Justin! ❤️

Happy Father’s Day daddy! We love you. Today we spent the day with my papa, which was one of your favorite things to do with family. I wish you were here to witness my papas lovely box cutter and the chaos it caused after he opened and envelope with it. Our beautiful little boy is growing by so fast he now tells people his daddy’s name is Justin and he loves us very much. I miss you babe. Keep watching over us & visiting Jordan in his dreams.

Hi babe♥️
Things have been pretty busy around here, between Jordan, work and my small business I barley have time to catch my breath.m, but I miss you and your always on my mind. It’s been rough lately and the busier I am the longer I hold it together. Not a moment goes by that I don’t wish you were here. Or I’m daydreaming about what it could’ve and should’ve been for us. Imagining you and jordan playing cars and rough housing, about family trips & the future we planned together. Thanks for visiting our boy in his dreams. He woke up saying “no jumping on the couch it’s very dangerous, my dad told me” breaks my heart that he will never have the chance to know you, but I promise I will always tell him about you. I tell him he’s just like his dad when he does certain things or says things and he says “yea just like my dad” as time passes it’s not getting any easier it’s harder. I love you forever babe

Happy Easter my love!
Wish you were here, I miss making your Easter basket! Crazy how the littlest things make me
So sad. We miss you so much, we literally talk about you all the time, especially Jordan. I love you always and forever.

Hi babe,
  It's me again. Our boy turned 3 today, we spent the day with our friends and went to the little farm, your son loved feeding the cow. He was so happy, even with the short time we had with you he is soooo much like you. He walks around singing and dancing all day long. He's so smart and loving. I wish you were here, we miss you. We need you, but I'm staying strong and holding it together. When I am weak I tell myself Justin always said "I have nothing to worry about Melissa always figures it out". Jordan told me he wanted new nikes yesterday so I took him to the mall and to each shoe store and at each store he told me "no mama, I don't like these" I felt like I was shopping with you. SOOO PICKY. Thank you for leaving me with the biggest part of you. we love you daddy, today, tomorrow and forever. until we meet again keep visiting us especially Jordan.