Our life (Gabi and me)
We met in 1997. It was love at first sight but it took us three years of continuous fight with the states administration and she had to step in as my lawyer.
After the long battle with the administration, we finally got married in 2000.
To me, Gabi was a mother, sister, friend and wife; in short she played every role in my life. My father didn’t consider Gabi as his daughter in-law but as his second daughter.
As most of you know, we travelled very often to Cameroon and carried out projects to support kids and the aged. We also organized seminars on AIDS. Apart from positively impacting lives in Cameroon, she was the mother of the German Cameroon Grassland Association Berlin. She went as far as creating a njangi group exclusively for wives of German African couples. She was there for everyone; young or old like giving administrative advice and taking care of African kids during events.
We faced our own challenges as a couple like any other couple. When we just got married, part of her family found it difficult to accept an African for an in-law. Our love was our strength and Gabi’s best friend Kitty, who has been her friend for over 36 years. Kitty has always been our lawyer and counselor.
In November 2016, she complained of chest pain and doctors gave her a gastritis medication, shortly before my trip to Cameroon. On my return in April 2017, I was shocked when I saw my wife because she had grown pail and couldn’t eat. On May 16th she was diagnosed with cancer, so the next day, a computer tomography made. On May 18th, I went to the family doctor to pick her prescription and was confused when the doctor invited me into his office. When I entered, he said sorry to me four times while in tears. That was when he explained to me that my wife had fast killing cancer and could not be operated upon. He told me she had pancreatic cancer. I came home in tears, so she asked me what the problem was. To entire family, it was a bomb. We were all sad but she said she will be okay and that I should stay strong and be positive.
On May 22nd, we went to the hospital and were informed on the advantages and disadvantages of chemotherapy. I discouraged Gabi because it could break her even more but she decided to go for it and asked me to think positive and that all will be fine. After six chemos, she was a bit okay but very weak. A computer tomography was conducted thereafter and the doctors said the tumor had been blocked and was not more spreading. She was able to eat some bread for two days which had not been the case since she was diagnosed. A blood test was conducted before the 7th chemo to check on her white blood cells and it was found out that it had developed to metastasis. After the 7th chemo, she stayed in the hospital for 22 days and the metastasis was treated and it got reduced alongside with 5 more chemos. When we went for the control before the 13th chemo, it was discovered that she had lungs infection. Doctors tried to control the infection with 24 bottles of antibiotics within 3 days but unfortunately it didn’t help. We were invited by the doctor for a talk on the 23rd and were told that Gabi would be no more within the next 5 to 10 days. He asked if I wanted her to be taken to a hospice or if I would take her home and I said I would take her home. Gabi’s opinion was asked as well and she said her husband had just decided.
On the 27th, she asked me what we were doing in Switzerland then Bulgaria and I told her that we were in the hospital in Berlin. She kept on asking when we would be going home and if I had packed our things. I told her that we would go home on the 29th which we did. On the 31st at 4 pm, she was unconscious and on the January 1st just after the fireworks at about 30 minutes after midnight, I went to her and wished her happy new year, then went to sleep. That same morning at 8 am, her two sisters who were with us since she came back home woke me up and told me that Gabi had rested.
Despite the loss, I feel happy because during her time of sickness, she didn’t suffer any pains. Gabi was a strong woman in every aspect of it and even till the last second she didn’t give up. Seeing her suffer was hell to me and losing the most important person in my life is hard to bear. I thank God for her life though and may her gentle soul rest in peace.
My dad once wrote a letter to Gabi while in the States telling her that since she is one of her children, if it ever happened that one of us left this world while in Europe, the person alive would bring back the corpse because he had a lot of land and the family will keep you in remembrance. After reading this, Gabi agreed and went as far as booking a burial place for us in Kom village during one of our trips to Cameroon. To respect Gabi’s wish, her remains will be taken to Kom village where she will be laid to rest.
Dear Gabi, I loved you and will always love you but God knows why we had to part so soon for He is the giver and taker of life. I pray to meet you one day in heaven where we will part no more.
Your lovely husband Mathieu Tum Young
