i have an unconditional love for my father-in-law. He was a man of few words, had the warmest bear hug as if he knew you from forever ago, the most genuine smile, huge full hearted laughter, and a heart that's make of gold.
Abandoned at age of 5, living behind bulleted walls with other orphans, little attention received as the priests and children ratio just was that way, gun firing sounds that's part of daily occurrences, he chose to not only forgive his mother for not choosing to bring him along for her escape. He reunited, immigrated, had a close relationship with her during her good years, and kept his vigilance and tended to her during her sickness and her death.
In spite of his upbringing, dad was always ready to help anyone in need. He did that not only for his extended family, but also children of friends and strangers. He was taken advantage of many times in his life, sometimes it might frustrate him, he might be mad. But he never stopped giving. Some said he was gullible. But his empathetic heart just refused to harden.
An immigrant, he worked hard in order to provide for his family. He was never afraid to put in the long hours. He brought the same mentality when he was with us. He always asked if I needed his help in the kitchen when I cooked. He asked for projects to do around our house - mending, building, painting. He spend hours playing with my kids in the sandbox he built in my backyard, making food play doh around our little blue plastic table that's way too small for him, building legos, participating in make believe tea parties...games that thrilled my children that I'm happy to be relieved of when he visited. Every Christmas, I missed him most acutely. He stayed up till the wee hours of morning to help us wrap the gazillion presents we have bought for our children on the eve of Xmas day.
Every visit, dad stayed past his bedtime every night, patiently waiting for Steve and I to be done with the day, so we can watch something on tv together, or play a few games of backgammon.
Dad was a long time smoker. When I was pregnant, I wrote him a letter in the voice of my unborn baby, asking him to kick his habit for the baby's sake. He did it cold turkey when Naomi is born.
I was his confidante. He shared feelings with me otherwise he kept to himself. I teased him, and we laughed at our jokes. Coming from a different culture and exposure of foods, he was open minded to anything I put his way. Once, I told dad to try my favorite "king of fruits" durian when he was in Singapore. He ate the whole fruit with me outside the house because steve and my mother-in-law can't even tolerate the smell from a mile away.
My father-in-law, when he was still in his good health, held my hands, looked me in the eye, and told me how he appreciated how I've helped Steve and him become closer after Steve and I got married. He showed me heartfelt appreciation.
I miss Dad. He is the one person I truly can say I have no regrets with. We have said and showed our adoration of each other during his time here on earth.
Thank you dad!
May you now be in a place full of love, compassion and colors.