I couldn’t write until now. Despite the fact that for the last four or five years she’d been telling me that we might not meet again, her actual departure leaves an enormous hole. What a wonderful woman, and what a wonderful friend! Her public work in the community and at the University was remarkably valuable (I used to love calling her at her pre-OSU office and hear the receptionist cheerily answer “You have Options!”) But It was our was private friendship that made her one of the anchors of my life. She counseled me through career decisions, through divorce and remarriage, through challenges with my children. Almost equally valuable, she let me feel that I was sometimes a good counselor to her. She could be fierce; the North Star of her values shone brightly, and it wasn’t always easy to get her to agree that there might be another side to an argument. But truthfully, I almost always knew that she was right. I loved her, and I’ll miss her the rest of the way.

Compared to many who have left tributes, my connection with Gay is of a shorter duration, starting in 1993 when Tracy and I were married and joined St. Stephens church in columbus where Gay and I served on the Vestry. Our (she, tracy and i plus our various kitties and puppies) spent many times together - Columbus, Cape Cod and Florida. We loved Gay dearly and grew to love her daughters Susan, Kit and Lynne. I don't know where Gay is now but I will be mightily upset if I am not scheduled to ever see her again, in some form, some connection. We knew the end was imminent for her time on this planet. That did not prepare me for her leaving. I no longer can call her and ask "Is this the very erudite and breathtakingly beautiful Margaret Gay Hadley?" and hear her respond: "It is". I no longer can tease her and help her laugh. She is no longer here to love me as I loved her. "Missing" does not cover the loss. Gay may be in a better place. I am not.

Thinking of Gay, a word that comes to me is "clear." I got to know her first as a student in my undergraduate poetry workshop. Anyone reading this knew and loved Gay, so when I say it was she who made that poetry workshop "sparkle," you will know what I mean. Then Gay honored me and gave me great support and joy by enrolling in many additional classes I taught at OSU. And during these years, we became real friends: I house-sat for her when she went out of town; when she was in town we met often at our favorite spot for smoothies and muffins, where we sometimes held hands-- and where she gave me clear, forthright advice about hard things, where we each talked about our pride in our children, and where we laughed often. ( No deeper concord than real laughter.) One day over smoothies--shortly before I was leaving Ohio to retire near my family in Arizona--Gay told me, clearly: If some day you hear that I died don't be sad; I'm OK with it. Thank you for teaching me, Gay. Love, jm 

Had the amazing pleasure of knowing Gay as a friend and neighbor in Victorian Village. She helped make my time in Columbus so special and familial. Had the opportunity to know many of her beautiful family. We shared many friends and had many special times together that will not be forgotten. She still has a place in my heart! 
David St Clair

I love you Nana. That laugh of yours. I'll never forget it. I can't think of it with out smiling.
It's so lovely that you shared your passion for poetry with the people you loved. About five weeks ago, during a quarantine spring cleaning binge, I came across a book you gifted me back in 1996. I was about to graduate high school and head off to college. It was your own copy of Letters to a Young Poet by Rainier Maria Rilke. It contained a letter you composed to me on the typewriter, passages you underlined, and notes you made in page margins. I quickly abandoned my cleaning project and got lost in them all. We hadn't seen each other in a while, but I felt instantly reconnected. It's a treasure I'll hold dear.
Thank you for your belief in me!

Wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman. Many years ago, Gay and I ventured out in a very tiny RV for a couple of nights exploring the North Shore of Lake Superior. I was, to no surprise, a wonderful road trip. And fun!

Rest in peace, Gay.

Gay Hadley lived a long, strong, purposeful life. One cannot ask for better legacy than that.

You had such a big impact on my life. From poetry readings at our house, my bridal shower, house/dog sitting, conversations about life, death, feminism, justice, religion, and so much more, you were a soul sister from another generation. I’m mourning your death but celebrating your life. Thank you for everything, sweet friend.

I just heard of your mom’s (and grandmother’s) death this morning and I am heartbroken. But I smile also, knowing that she was ready--and had been ready--for her death for years. I admired her opinions on life stages and death. I also admired that she was so very proud of her children and her grandkids. We talked of each of you many times through the years and I was honored that she shared with me the joys of her family in addition to her poetry, her passions for reading, politics, learning, friendship, her challenges, and, well, life in general, and too many other topics to count. Gay profoundly changed my life in many ways, both professionally and personally. I can’t even begin to convey how much I loved and appreciated her. I mourn her leaving this earth and I celebrate her life with joy. Love and hugs to you all.

How long were Gay and I friends? 60 years.Longer? Friends and confidantes through thick and thin and there were a lot of thicks. We were often on the same page with our thoughts and ideas and I was her VP in the Junior League .She made me toe the line which often was a challenge for both if us. I loved her dearly . She was part of the best times of my life. Peace forever,my dear.

Gay was such an amazing woman and and wonderful aunt! A line from her poem "This I Believe" states "People who go on learning also go on living", this really captures Gay for me. A formidable and intelligent woman, she will be greatly missed by Tanya and I. We are so grateful we got to spend some quality time with her these last couple of years.

Remembering my dear friend with gratitude for 30+ years of her wisdom and compassion, her poetry, her company at plays, concerts, and movies, and her inspiration to make a difference.

Several years ago Gay and I exchanged her poetry and my haiku. While reflecting on those times the following haiku emerged describing her:           

Joyful, open smile /
Inquisitive, poet’s vision /
Gracious, full of life.

I recently read this poem by the Chinese poet Li Bo. I wish I’d had the opportunity to share it with Gay, she would have loved it.
“We who live on the earth / are but travelers; / the dead like those / who have returned home; / all people are as if / living in some inn, / in the end each and every one / going to the same place.”
(Li Bo translated by Rewi Alley)

Gay was a special friend who will be sorely missed. Each of us is richer to have had Gay in our lives.

Gay and I were leaving the OSU Faculty Club after lunch in the early 80s and she hooked her arm through mine and said, “I have a feeling we’re going to be good friends.” And good friends we were. I could always count on Gay to give me a first-rate book recommendation and straight talk.

When my husband, Weldon, and I moved to Eugene, Oregon in 1990, she came to visit telling me she wanted to see where we lived. We drove her to the Oregon coast and hiked in the Cascade Mountains. I’ll never forget taking her to the outdoor Saturday Market set up in the center of Eugene. She took a look at the unique culture and said, “ I feel like saying ‘Impeach Nixon!’”

Six years later we moved to Seattle and she again came to visit. We valued her friendship and loved having her with us. Fond memories of a wonderful woman.

Love you friend. You could have simply chosen to be my aunt but instead you made me your friend. The time you gave and the energy invested resulted in a better person. Shared my flaws and was trusted with yours. I choose your influence and will pass it along to someone else.  See you on the other side (if I'm lucky, and am already lucky). Grateful for you.