Mom, it is hard believing that you passed. There are so many things we
Will never get to do together again. Although days pass where I just want to curse your name for what you didnt give to me, and I feel hateful because you are no longer here. Then I remembere all of the things that you gave up in your life for us. Everything you would do. Like almost breaking the door to the church down because I came home crying. You wouldn't ever let us be disrespectful to our elders. You tought us to love deeply, and hate was a much stronger word than it is to say. If there was a single moment in time I could have with you again, I would crawl my butt up in to your lap and hold you tighter. I would listento the beat of your heart and for that moment love you with all that I could. I still need you, and any moment knowing that you are no longer her is so unbearable. How do I be the mom in me without you. It is the mother you were for me, that made the mother I am. I have been trying. I do hope that any suffering from the passing of your life will ease with time. people enjoyed being around you. I prey That your trvels into the sprit world are better than any celebration or birthday or ponderosa party ever was. I prey that you are able to not look back here and carry on where I know you will always be home. I Love you! Forever and always, always have and always will. I just want you to know, I will always do my best to be me. That no matter what I will neverforgetwhere I came from, and hope to succeed in life the way you alwaysbelieved I would. Hey mom I love you. I dont know what to say, I hate that your not here that everything is getting worse. That I feel so alone. I dont know who my family is anymore. I dont have you an your unconditional love. I hate that I had ever said hurtfulthings to you. Because while you love me still even after I would say I hate you or couldnt wait till I was out of your life was a complete lie. I just didnt know how to express myself to you. And I wont get time to learn either. I cant stand to remember you, it hurts. And it doesn't seem that anyone wants to remember you with me. I feel alone with your passing. And its been a year and it seems to only hurt more. I know I am supposed to probably write a bunch of condolences, but I ddont believe that what you would want to here. Truth is I am far fro ok with you passing. But I have to live with that, and it sucks. I lve you and miss you.