ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, 王花红, who was born on December 22, 1923 and passed away on August 13, 2018. We will remember 姥姥 forever.

Donations are welcome, and will go to helping the family with funeral and burial expenses. If you wish to donate, please click here.

https://www.gofundme.com/huahong-wang

Visitation will be held in the Lehman, Reen, McNamara Funeral Home on Sunday, August 19th from 2 to 3pm, followed by a funeral service at 3pm. Relatives and friends are kindly invited to attend. Interment private.

https://www.lehmanreen.com/notices/huahong-wang

August 24, 2020
August 24, 2020
Dear 姥姥:
Mom, Shuo, and I went to pay our respects this month. Our memories of you keep us focused on being our best selves, both for you and for each other. You will also live on in our thoughts. Love, Maggie
August 23, 2020
August 23, 2020
姥姥好, we went to visit you this month. Please be assured that everyone is doing well. You continue to be in our memories and your spirit gives us strength everyday. Love, 张硕
August 31, 2018
August 31, 2018
Although no words can quite describe the wonder that was my grandmother, I’m glad I got this chance to read these posts and hear my family's stories (especially from my mother). Over the weeks I got to learn many side of LaoLao that I never knew. While there will always be things that we wish we could have asked or experienced with her, and details that will have slipped from our minds, together we paint a more vibrant picture of her and keep the memory alive!
So thank you to everyone who has posted and reached out to my family. I think we've done a great job of continuing to spread LaoLao's message of kindness.
August 30, 2018
August 30, 2018
我是张森林, 安睡着的,是我操劳了一生, 也快乐了大半生的岳母老妈妈。

在张家“快乐大家庭”中,甚至我们的朋友中,不分辈份,大家都称我的岳母为姥姥,这成了她的尊称和爱称。

介绍一下王花红姥姥
1923年12月22日,出生在广东普宁县的普通农民家庭。
从小做家务,干农活儿,年轻时可以肩挑重担日行数十里。

1956年她“闯荡江湖”,来到北京定居。这是我知道的最早的“北漂”。

在北京结婚成家,生有独生女儿乌莉英。70年代先生身患半身不遂,至85年夏去世,她一直操持家务,照料久病的先生,还为街道工厂糊纸盒。

1985年秋外孙张硕出生, 姥姥开始住进我和莉英的小家庭,照料外孙,帮助女儿操持家务。

1994年来到美国波士顿继续和我们小家庭一起生活。

1996年春外孙女张繁出生,姥姥又肩负起了照看外孙女的重任。

来美以后,姥姥和我们一家曾居住在波士顿地区多个城市:Dedham, Needham, Wayland, Wellesley and Westwood。还随我们一家游览世界好几个地方。

姥姥参加了外孙张硕的高中毕业典礼、大学毕业典礼、研究生毕业典礼,还参加了外孙女张繁的高中毕业典礼,外甥孙女苏梦迪在美国的大学毕业典礼和研究生毕业典礼。

1995年10月份,经多年排队等待,姥姥搬入了波士顿一家条件优越的老人公寓。那里环境优美,设施齐全,有图书室、运动室、餐厅、小剧场。姥姥的房间也是刚刚装修好,配备有新的空调、冰箱、崭新的厨房、洗手间。公寓还给姥姥配备了服务人员,帮助做饭、洗衣、打扫卫生。从此姥姥开始了又一段新的生活。

她几乎每周五下午从老人公寓回到我们家度过周末,周日下午再回到老人公寓。在公寓居住期间,每天有车接车送,到附近的老人健康活动中心—— “休闲阁”,老人聚会,一起打麻将、打扑克、玩 Bingo、做锻炼、那里还提供早餐和午餐,下午再送回到老人公寓。

去年年底2017年12月,姥姥又一次来到北京,正是张家 “快乐大家庭”聚会,所有成员从世界各地齐聚北京,为姥姥祝贺94岁生日。

二十天的聚会及丰富多彩的活动结束后,姥姥乘商务舱从北京飞回波士顿。

姥姥来美国24年,参加过很多活动,也因此认识了很多朋友。

我和莉英参加合唱团20多年,从黄河到东方,从北美和谐到爱乐合唱团。姥姥是我们参加的各个合唱团的粉丝及热情观众。

国内的明星大腕儿经常来波士顿演出,她听过郭颂、李谷一、郭兰英、戴玉强的演唱,看过马季、侯耀文、石富宽说相声,也欣赏过赵本山和范伟等演的小品。她还经常坐在VIP席位,像大领导一样。

姥姥还观看当地北京京剧社的表演、观看过北美千人黄河大合唱表演的壮观场面、观看过魏京声乐班的汇报演唱会等。

她最爱看我的挚友,华人指挥家乔万均在舞台上风度翩翩的指挥,最爱看郭凌漂亮而又优雅的钢琴弹奏,是他们的热情粉丝。莉英说:“要是她会唱歌,早就是夕阳红合唱团的一员了。”

姥姥在外孙及外孙女小的时候,每星期日陪他们到中文学校学习。曾去过世纪和剑桥中文学校,去的最多、时间最长的是牛顿中文学校。

姥姥与北京同乡会(京津同乡会)特别有缘。一年一度的春节联欢、同乡聚会她都积极参加。在近90岁高龄的时候,还参加过数次活动,并亲手烹调美味食品,供大家分享品尝,深受大家的好评,也因此几次获奖,在当地报纸上还能看到她的照片和名字。回想起来这是姥姥最开心的时刻,也是她每年都能记得和期待的时刻。

今天我和莉英的亲朋好友,姥姥的亲朋好友来召开一个迟来94年的颁奖会,一个歌颂美好人生的表彰会。

向她老人家颁发人生最高的奖项:
大爱之奖、大美之奖、大善之奖。

莉英是这位母亲一生言传身教养育的独生女儿;张硕和张繁,是她一手带大的外孙和外孙女,都是她最好的、活生生的奖状。

为什么给姥姥颁发这样的大奖?
莉英和我在献给妈妈的挽联上做了最好的总结:

温良笑爱勤俭慈母本色,
一生功德无量天堂所归。

温:温者貌和。和姥姥一起生活过、相处过,相识过,相见过的人都会有同感:她相貌温和,笑容和蔼,笑声热情、自然、由衷。讲话声音温柔悦耳,虽然远离故土60余载,但谈话中乡音不改,非常亲切。她有动人眼神和闪亮的目光。哪里有姥姥,哪里就有温暖,一进家门,只要姥姥在家,一定有可口的饭菜和兴高采烈的问候。

良:良者心善。姥姥善解人意,善待他人,从来不把个人意愿强加给别人。对意见、观点一致的人是这样,最难做到的是,在和不同意见的人沟通时,也是如此。从来都是谦让他人,尊重他人,甚至委曲求全。这在有些人看来是没有主见,软弱。可是她不这样认为。她能从别人的角度看待问题、善意理解别人的用意。 在我的记忆中,从没看到过姥姥和人争吵。这看似简单,但在94岁的一生中一直这样,谈何容易。这是姥姥与人为善、吃亏让人美德的表现。

笑:姥姥年轻时笑对艰苦的田间劳作,到了北京笑对生活的艰难曲折。和我们生活在一起后,姥姥的生活中充满了快乐,笑得更多。姥姥不笑不说话,是个特别喜兴的人、快乐的人。

快乐的和张硕扔飞盘,曾经20几下接飞盘不落地。
快乐的和张繁踢足球,跑的比小学生都快。
快乐的和我们玩24点,和两个硕士、两个大学生比赛屡屡获胜。
快乐的和老年朋友搓麻将,“和了”对姥姥是常事。

可见姥姥身体非常协调,脑筋特别聪明,上学一定是一流学生,留学有可能进常春藤名校。

我们特别给姥姥买了最好的棺木:Dartmouth, 这是姥姥的新屋,家也住的不远,波士顿的 Forest Hills 墓地最阳光的墓址,面向广东普宁的老家。

爱:爱家人:多年陪伴照顾半身不遂的老伴,天天打理的干干净净,饭菜精心,环境整齐干净。
爱女儿:我和乌莉英从小学一年级就在一个班。那是文化大革命的60年代。她在我们班吃的最好、穿的最好、连衣裙就好几件。我们班同学都以为她生长在富裕家庭,后来有机会到她家做作业,才看到母亲在家给街道工厂糊纸盒维持生计。在莉英结婚生子之前,母亲把爱都放在了这个独生女儿身上。女儿的童年充满快乐,小学、中学都是班干部、舞蹈队主角,年年是三好学生。
爱外孙张硕:天天带他去家附近的北京青年湖公园,更多的故事,一会儿留给张硕自己说。
爱外孙女张繁,这个留给张繁自己说。

勤:勤快,姥姥是个勤快的人。
年轻时自然不用说,家里洗衣、做饭、清洁,都是一人包办。我们一起生活三十多年来,没有大富大贵的生活,但家常便饭藏美味,健康营养乐无穷。我爱喝点儿酒,我岳母不胜酒力,属于不喝正好,沾酒半醉那种人。但我一喝酒,她每每助兴,陪我喝一点。白酒、红酒、啤酒样样都行。

俭:这个字现在不太用了,铺张浪费成了常态、勤俭持家成了落后观念。姥姥不这样看,她的逻辑:生活的标准放到俭朴的水平上,生活会更快乐。

慈母本色:姥姥没有上过学,但姥姥知识渊博。她的知识是实际生活需要的、待人接物需要的、人类社会需要的真才实学。
她不会慷慨激昂
她不会催人泪下
她不会诲人不倦
她不会高谈阔论

姥姥以她由衷的笑、善良的心、真诚的爱,朴素的情温暖了一个小家庭、一个大家庭、一个老人公寓和认识她每个人的心。

姥姥的朴实无华将永放光华。
春暖花开时,我们去看您!

妈妈,安息吧!
小婿森林
August 28, 2018
August 28, 2018
张驰, 8/15/18:

听到姥姥驾鹤西去的消息甚为震惊,姥姥一生勤劳、乐观,心系每个人 对我们小辈更是关爱有加。二叔二婶张硕张繁节哀。姥姥的音容笑貌永存我们心中 愿她老人家一路走好!
August 28, 2018
August 28, 2018
彭涛, 8/15/18:

姥姥无疾而终,驾鹤西去是有大德之人。姥姥一直跟随你们(儿女一家)互相陪伴真是很好,高龄仙逝无病无痛是修来的,一般人做不到呢。姥姥真的很幸福。 她给我们大家留下的是美好的回忆,她很懂得跟晚辈交流,互动,很受我们喜爱。
August 28, 2018
August 28, 2018
佩年, 8/15/18:

音容永存人世,
灵魂安息天堂。
愿姥姥一路走好,
我们永远怀念您。
August 28, 2018
August 28, 2018
春玲, 8/15/18:

无数的遗憾,没能和姥姥再见上一面。姥姥的恩情我们一家人永远不能忘。在我们的心里,是准备好了给老人家过百岁宴的。看到姥姥的视频那么精神,更觉得老人家应该到百岁。愿善良的老人在天堂继续快乐的生活。
August 28, 2018
August 28, 2018
春林, 8/15/18:

姥姥操劳一生,把最灿烂的笑容留给了我们每一个人,她生前从不愿麻烦别人,走时又那么安祥,老人家是大德之人。那时我在二哥二姐家住时,姥姥什么事都想着我,没少为我操心,一到做饭时总问(三叔想吃什么呀,我给你做),我永远忘不了她老人家那时候对我的关爱。愿姥姥一路走好。
August 28, 2018
August 28, 2018
建林, 8/15/18:

姥姥突然离世,甚是悲伤!老人家既无受病痛煎熬,又没让后人受累,94岁高龄,实在是难得的修行!虽然永远离开了我们,但却得到了老天的厚待,我们会永远感念老人家的福恩,向老人家学习!
姥姥这最后的两帧影像,充满了慈祥与快乐,希望与活力,是多么可亲可敬啊!无论是对乌莉张森一家,还是对快乐大家庭而言,姥姥一直都是我们在健康快乐,待人恭宽,勤思好学方面的榜样。姥姥虽然离开了大家,但懿德永驻我们的心中!
August 20, 2018
August 20, 2018
幸好去年去了美国波士顿。还希望再和她打麻将。她的出牌速度快得让人忘记她的年龄,期间她老人家和了好几次,输了从容一笑。你们全家要保重节哀啊!还记得我临走时她说-重要的东西别忘带❤️ ,我将铭记!王阿姨走好。送花圈还是挽联加上我和杜坚[心碎][心碎][心碎][抱拳][抱拳][抱拳]
August 19, 2018
August 19, 2018
姥姥,愿您一路走好。谢谢您五年来对我的疼爱和照顾。我怀念和您一起下五子棋,一起算二十四点,和陪您散步的日子。您带给我们许许多多的正能量。您的笑容,您的善良激励着我们每一个人。我们永远怀念您。
August 17, 2018
August 17, 2018
姥姥, you will always be in our hearts and forever loved. Your kindness toward others and positive energy are an inspiration for everyone who crossed paths with you. You made me into the man I am today, and are the guiding light for everything my own family and I will become in the future.

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Recent Tributes
August 24, 2020
August 24, 2020
Dear 姥姥:
Mom, Shuo, and I went to pay our respects this month. Our memories of you keep us focused on being our best selves, both for you and for each other. You will also live on in our thoughts. Love, Maggie
August 23, 2020
August 23, 2020
姥姥好, we went to visit you this month. Please be assured that everyone is doing well. You continue to be in our memories and your spirit gives us strength everyday. Love, 张硕
August 31, 2018
August 31, 2018
Although no words can quite describe the wonder that was my grandmother, I’m glad I got this chance to read these posts and hear my family's stories (especially from my mother). Over the weeks I got to learn many side of LaoLao that I never knew. While there will always be things that we wish we could have asked or experienced with her, and details that will have slipped from our minds, together we paint a more vibrant picture of her and keep the memory alive!
So thank you to everyone who has posted and reached out to my family. I think we've done a great job of continuing to spread LaoLao's message of kindness.
Her Life

王花红, 1923 - 2018

August 16, 2018

王花红 (affectionately known by many as 姥姥 / LaoLao) was born in the Guangdong province of China on December 22, 1923, and passed away peacefully in her sleep in Boston, Massachusetts on August 13, 2018. She was the devoted mother of Liying Wu and her husband Senlin Zhang; loving grandmother of Shuo and (myself) Maggie Zhang; beloved wife of the late Shiming Wu; and a beacon of sunshine for many relatives and friends. She was 94, but was otherwise in great health, so this came as a big shock to everyone. Our family wish to share her story and celebrate her amazing life, and kindly invited others to do the same.

Early Life

My grandmother came from humble beginnings: she learned the bitter taste of life as a child and a young woman in the Puning countryside. In 1955, she moving to Beijing to become a caretaker and cook. She was in her 30s and in pursuit of better opportunities for herself and her future family. She met her husband there as well; however, he suffered from serious illnesses, and after caring for him for years, 姥姥found herself widowed by her 60s. My mom was her only child (which is unusual for that generation), so, as my brother puts it, she cared for me and him with unconditional love as her own children, and we thought of her as a second mother. My brother also told me that my parents immigrated to the US when he was 5, and for the following 3 years 姥姥 single-handedly raised him in Beijing.

Life in the States

In 1993, my brother finally reunited with my parents, and 姥姥 followed him a year later. Shortly after, she raised me as well. Though she spoke no English and received no formal education, she was rich in her friendships and wisdom. She attracted the admiration of all who knew her, and had wisdom of a depth that could only be gained through challenging experiences met with a courageous heart. She was also an endlessly selfless and grateful woman. She never wanted more than what she had and never asked for the attention, time and presents of her family and friends, but rather held a life-long and self-established purpose of serving others. However, she was deeply cared about and looked after. Each of these helping hands were met with heartfelt thanks—strangers, caretakers, and close friends alike. Whether you were the friend who played mahjong with her at Christmas parties; the driver who shuttled her to her home on weekends; the flight attendant who served her during the long flight to China, or the friend who baked her a cake for her birthday, she saw in you the kindness of humanity. It seemed that these past decades following her immigration were some of her happiest.

An Active Mind and Body

A fun-loving spirit, she also loved to get active with me and my brother in in her 70s and 80s. When we were living in my hometown of Needham, Massachusetts, she would take the bus with me to Montessori school each day and to the playground across the street where we would play soccer with our Winnie the Pooh ball. In the summer, my mom would comment that each time we returned we looked so much tanner than we did just an hour ago. When I was in middle school, she would take me to the tennis courts to help me practice, and show off how many times she could bounce the ball on her racket; I was always trying to catch up. She and Shuo would also test how many times they could hit a ping pong ball back and forth, trying to break their record each time. She was also always more confident in her ability to catch a frisbee than me and my mom. Throughout my and Shuo's childhood, she demonstrated patience, persistence, good sportsmanship, and the joy of being active. Even in her 90s, she took walks almost daily and did exercises in the morning, evening, and throughout the day. Sometimes she would jog down the hall with her walker to make us laugh. An early riser and sleeper, she would also sit by the entrance of her senior center every weekday morning, where her friends would find her waiting for the shuttle. She never broke these simple yet important habits, and always reminded us to bring that same discipline to our own lives.

She matched that good health with a sharp mind. Even at the age of 94, she could rival many in a mathematical game of 24, which she played daily. Her books on cooking and natural health from which she often quotes to me and my family are gently worn due to her consistent rereading. We are packing her cards, books, glasses, and mahjong set so that she can take them with her; the mahjong set was arranged with a winning hand so she can always be winning from now on.

Memory

When 姥姥 passed away, we found her in her bed, in an eternal sleep. We will forever hold her in our hearts, and know that she was and will be at peace. No words can truly capture the spirit of 王花红 or describe the legacy she's left us with; however, we can strive to uphold her ideals of an active mind and body; a good work ethic and humble heart; and a spirit of kindness and gratitude. Above all, we wish to keep her story alive. If you would also like to share a story about 姥姥 in the tab above, we kindly welcome you to.

Donation

We wish to properly commemorate 王花红's life and provide her with a wonderful future home in the Forest Hills Cemetery. Donations will help our family with the expenses surrounding the funeral and burial. If you wish to donate, please click here:

https://www.gofundme.com/huahong-wang

Recent stories

​往事可追 (萧朝民写于8月18日)

September 13, 2018

昨夜倾接来电,我九十五岁的阿姨于8月13日在美国波士顿睡梦中溘然长逝。念及往日阿姨对我的照顾,悲从中来。

阿姨是我见过的真正善良的典范,是我一生的亲人和人格的榜样,往事可追,往事历历在目。

大道至樸

读书虽少明大義,
善良岂在学问深。
一生勤劳唯克己,
不留虚伪愧世人。

(......我忘不了电话里阿姨的笑声,我忘不了90多岁时她还大步流星,我忘不了高高阿姨录给我的阿姨背诵九九口诀,我忘不了阿姨看着我时慈爱的目光。

阿姨对这个世界所求甚少,把一切都奉献给了她所爱的人,阿姨的品格是善良的典范,是我心中的一座丰碑。人不一定要做伟大的事业,人格的本身才是最高贵的。我向阿姨致敬,并愿她在天之灵安息!)

大风歌

2018年8月18,大早盼云霓,又怕风吹走。

今朝狂风剥枯树,
落叶满池,
捞得很辛苦。
衣架零乱袜单株,
躺在水底练工夫。

抬头且喜黑云佈,
久旱无雨,
人也盼甘露。
天目含泪不轻洒,
好梦最怕醒時空。

姥姥的”北漂”生活 (乌莉英写于8/27)

September 13, 2018

姥姥不光是我两个孩子的姥姥,也是后来很多人对我妈妈的尊称和爱称。姥姥辛勤劳作很多年,但她却很少说起。这还是刚听到我半个世纪的老朋友,老邻居讲起 -—- 

一九五六年,原华南分局负责人调入北京,想找一位家乡人代为照顾小孩,料理家务,姥姥做为优秀的劳动妇女,被推荐来了北京。姥姥来北京后的十多年中分别照看过两家人。因为她的勤快,因为她的精心,因为她的善良,得到了这些家人的高度评价和赞赏。因此大家相处也像一家人一样,那时人们都叫她阿姨。阿姨很能干,特别争气。每天打扫洗衣干净利落;做的饭菜好吃可口;照看孩子更是全身心的投入。

我所记得的、也是她最得意的菜肴中有蒸甜花生包、炒米线、焖咸饭,还有不少汤的做法和鸡肉的做法。那时她每天去买新鲜的蔬菜,这让她学会了精选不同的肉类、菜类,她还边看边学边琢磨,想方设法做出大家喜爱的饭菜来。她总是为他人精打细算。 “览” 潮州话发音是la4,览来览去,就是到处看,到处挑选,这样既能选择好品质的肉菜,又能讨价还价省下钱来。

她做的饭菜怎么会这么好吃?

我在后来的做饭中,跟她学了一些“秘方”。比如做肉丸汤,她反复叮嘱,肉要选好的,作肉丸一定要把肉剁烂,放点淀粉,放点蛋清,然后反复用筷子“打”,打到佐料都“吃”进去,这样煮的肉丸鲜香滑嫩,吃到嘴里口感才好,不会一粒一粒的......。她每天都做饭烧菜,每天都如此精益求精,她的饭菜越做越出色,越做越好吃。

很多人喜欢她做的饭菜,总是夸赞她的手艺,这让她非常开心。除了家人吃饭外,他们的亲戚朋友和同事也常常成为座上客。记得那时妈妈常说某某某喜欢她做的汤,谁谁谁喜欢她的炒米线......。

她爱干净,又特勤快,总是花百分之百的力气做好每一件大事小事,天天如此,从不抱怨。因此对妈妈大家总是赞不绝口。

说起带孩子,她更是精心。把孩子带的干干净净、白白胖胖、人见人夸。好多年过去了,被带大的孩子从来没有忘记过阿姨的辛苦、阿姨对他们的疼爱、对他们的恩情。几十年来,凡是有机会他们都会去看望这位从小把他们带大的阿姨。

August 29, 2018

8月20日

阿姨的名字王花红我也是最近才知道的,她的名字像她本人一样朴实。从小住在同一个院子里,我家和她家有一堵共用墙,我们两家都各有一间房,院里各自有个小厨房。每天见她带着围裙来往于她家和小厨房之间,习惯了听她说话,听她笑,其实她的广东话,我基本上听不懂。唯一听得清楚的是她叫我的名字,非常特别的发音,听起来像叫我”长藤“。 
我上中学时搬出那小院以后很少见到她。只记得90年代初,去过沙滩的房子拜访过她,因为女儿女婿先行出国,那时她已经年已七旬,单独带着5岁的外孙,略显疲劳,但笑容依然,富有感染力。 二十年后在波士顿欢喜重逢, 93岁高龄的她清楚还记得沙滩的见面。每次看到她的照片,都能感受她的幸福,以及她带给她的爱女和家人满满的福。 
去年十一月第一次去美国度假,感恩节当天驱车到达波士顿。期待见到她和她女儿小妹姐。她笑容依旧,只是头发白了些,背弯了些。期待得太久,见了面反而不知道说什么。回想那短短的两天重逢,她的微笑里饱含真诚,话语里充满关切,眼神里闪着智慧,每道皱纹里都刻着的都是善良, 她的举手投足流露的都是平静与满足。都说她没有读过书,在海外漂泊了二十年的我,在她这里,很快就被幸福包围了。 虽然北小街马道胡同早已不在,而她让我觉得初次拜访的波士顿就是马道。她打麻将的出牌速度,让人忘记她的年纪;我离开前,她大声的叮嘱:“重要的东西别忘带”。不想,这次四十年后的重逢,这是她跟我说的最后一句话,好像一点口音也没有,听起来非常清楚。
今早起来打开微信,看到小妹姐的“不幸”两个字,心就猛地一沉。今天周一就是波士顿的周日下午,是追悼会的时间,穿上一身黑衣,我赶去一早开始的法院口译工作。这工作干了十几年了,耳闻了多少人间的悲欢离合,已经没有什么事能让我流泪。而今早,在8月悉尼的寒风里,我一路走一路掉泪。脑子里一遍遍的回放她老人家的叮咛“重要的东西别忘带” ,简单而深刻, 人生之旅,这句话我将永远铭记。
现在是波士顿时间20日早上七点。陈彤将遥望即将开始的下葬仪式,愿敬爱的王阿姨在天堂安息,我和家人永远怀念您!

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