I was looking through my computer files desperately trying to find the picture of Jacob from last Christmas! Last Christmas (2017) Jacob and I were in the Hong Kong airport hotel (a beautiful place) and I had made an emergency trip to China to bring Jacob home due to health issues; I had to "jump" three countries because I didn't have time to get a VISA to be able to travel in China. Jacob and I took a picture in front of a Christmas tree in the Hong Kong airport hotel on our way home from China. I told Jake we needed to continue our tradition of trying to have a picture in front of a Christmas tree each year. But now, unfortunately, I can't find it anywhere and I am not sure if disappeared into the cloud...I am hopeful I will come across it randomly some day soon. I have appreciated the pictures many of you have sent me via text or email of him -- all through varying stages of his life. Please keep sending them...it seems I have so few pictures of him since he left home for college and each new one I get makes me smile and cry at the same time :).

When I was getting ready to go out for our annual Christmas eve tradition of "Red Lobster" with the family (Terry, Aaron, Jessica, Artie), I looked in my jewelry box for my holiday earrings and I came across the beautiful bracelet Jacob bought me last year on our way home from China. He was so full of pride picking it out for me and paying for it and I loved the energy he put into doing it -- but even more I loved the joy on his face that he got from the gesture! I have not worn it as I worried about the clasp and coming upon on it was bittersweet -- a beautiful reminder of our last Christmas together even though it was filled with worry over his personal well being. No one says that raising children is easy and even when they become adults, we continue to worry about them and pray for them as they continue to be our children. Jacob was always fully engaged in life and so creative, he was also always a special blessing...his spirit was large and his heart always open to others. He has strong thoughts and opinions about life and the world and he expressed those thoughts freely! Yet his laugh and great sense of humor, his sarcastic and ironic humor always made me laugh and smile (even when I knew I shouldn't be encouraging him on some of his very creative rabbit trails). Through it all - he was a blessing to me as a son -- and I know he blessed others.

It has not yet been 5 months since Jake died and his loss is still so keenly felt. The holidays are tough without him and I get swept up into the dark hole that has been created in my life. Jake used to sit with me and watch the Christmas Carol when he would stay with us; I made his favorite "Minnesota Green Bean Casserole" today; I used to have to make a double batch when he was here eating it with us as he and Artie would wrestle over the casserole! He would have loved the steaks we made today on the grill as he loved steak and would always pick the biggest one he could find to eat!

I couldn't find the picture of us in front of the Hong Kong Christmas tree, but I came across this picture today in my search. Artie and Jake and Ruthie were doing their "father/daughter/son" tattoo day. They all got the words "Time marches on..." tattooed on their arms in remembrance of Artie's mom who passed. Jacob had taken care of her during the years he was at the University of Maryland and she would always say that to him during his visits; he had her write it out for him on a piece of paper and then brought it home with him so he could get that tattoo on his arm in memory of "Mz. Evelyn". She called him her grandson...and Artie called him his "boots on the ground" in the care of his mother. 

I continue to be at a loss for words to express how I am feeling or what I am experiencing. I know others miss him as deeply as I do....

Jake - I came across the children's book "Love You Forever" -- it was one of your favorite books and I used to read that to you all the time when you were little and all cuddled in next to me with your finger in your mouth and your Brave Heart Lion under your arm.... 

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.”

I love you and miss you Jake -- 

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We had Jake's funeral on Saturday on the farm with all of his closest relatives present as we celebrated his life and remembered him with love and laughter. It was a very special time and I am so grateful for the long trip the family took to be here with us on this day, some flying, some driving -- all taking time off to share in our grief and to send Jacob off with love and laughter. We had a beautiful memorial service with music and pictures and words of love and stories, and we were reminded that we would see Jake again some day in heaven. 

We ate one of Jake's favorite meals - "taco potatoes" and enjoyed the day together remembering that family is what counts in life.

We invite you to share two different memorial videos with pictures depicting two different times in Jake's life - one in his childhood and the second in his manhood. We set these to music and showed them at his service; we invite you to view them whenever you think of him and remember the very special person he was. 

We love you Jake - my heart is breaking ...we miss you terribly...you will never be forgotten...

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I am a pastor as well as a mom…so for me it was important to have a beautiful ceremony with certain music, slide shows put together, the right scripture…and it was difficult handling the emotions I experienced while putting it together; lots of reflection on the interpersonal relationship my son and I had...we were very close. THEN…when I finally finished creating the service and gathering all the pictures for Jake's video, my computer crashed and I had to start it all over again!! But, the day was special and our very large family all came from both sides of the family (from across varying parts of the US). We held the service on my farm which he loved and the day was cold and dreary with bursts of sunshine…I think we always remember the weather for these types of events. To add to the day – my herd of goats got out!! Jacob would have thought that was very fitting for his funeral – he loved the animals and it was his work on the fencing that kept them in the pasture. In the middle of the reception I had to put my cowboy boots on and go locate the goats and herd them back into the pasture – quite the adventure!

Jake - I was wishing you were with me helping me herd the goats. You and I always had such a good time outside together "playing" with the animals. I think of you every time I go outside to feed the animals or when I am holding Jag the one-eyed cat...memories of you are everywhere...

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In Thailand...at peace...

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Jake loved all of his dogs - but he especially loved Thomas - a little shitzu-pug mix that we bought when he lived in Nebraska with me. Thomas was always a "little old man" and went everywhere and did everything with Jake...

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Even as a baby he already had that mischievous look - look at the eyebrow! Ready to explore the world at a level none of us were ready for... ;)

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When Jacob was leaving for China he purchased a new bible and asked me to write something on one of the blank pages.This is what I wrote.

"Jacob, I remember when you were a child and you would capture house flies in the house and free them outdoors so they would not be harmed by spray or a fly swatter.You have always had a heart that cares about everyone and everything.That is a precious characteristic that you should treasure and I will appreciate forever."

By Terry Eckstein

Jacob has wonderful friends and colleagues in China. He particularly talked about about Barbara (his friend/colleague/boss), Crystal (her daughter/Jake's colleague), and Ken (Barb's husband/Jake's friend). They not only worked with Jacob, but they opened up their hearts and lives to him and accepted him unconditionally and with great love. He often talked about how blessed he was to have a "family" in China. We are forever grateful for the care and affection they showed him while still holding him to a high professional teaching standard. 

When Jacob died, Barbara was with him; after his death she took on the overwhelming burden of arranging the paperwork with the Embassy, handling the funeral and cremation arrangements in China, and then she traveled to the US and "brought my dear Jacob back to the loving arms of his mother..." 

There are no words to express the gratitude and thankfulness we feel toward her and her wonderful family. 

Jacob was blessed to have had them in his life...as are we...

Jacob and his friends went sightseeing in China and it was a tremendous experience for him. I will post some of the videos in the "stories" section. It is fun to hear some of his commentary -- but most important to me is to hear him singing worship songs while he is walking, hear him laugh and sense the peace and contentment he felt. If you have time check out those videos (Mount Song - divided into sections) if you want to understand how happy he was in China. He appears with "selfies" randomly through them...

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Jacob was teaching the difference between being a "boy" and a "man" -- guess which one he is supposed to be right now...

All of the kids (Jessica, Aaron, Jacob) are professors and taught at varying schools across the country. They all taught in the Communication Studies discipline. While we often went to conferences together, this is one of the rare times all three kids and myself ended up together at an academic conference all presenting on different areas of the discipline. I have very fond memories of this conference and it was fun hanging with them and my other friends all together - I was SOOO proud of all of my children and thrilled to show them off. This was at the National Communication Association annual conference in November 2007. 

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Every year since the kids were very little we took a picture in front of the Christmas tree. It was fun to watch the tree start to disappear behind them as they grew older and bigger every year. One of our traditions that continued every year until they went off to work in different parts of the country (world). I still have all these photos.

When we lived in Claremont our property lined up against some woods and the kids loved to play on the big rocks and trees. There was one particular tree they could jump and down like a swing and they called it the "bee-bop" tree...Spikey our dog was always with the kids wherever they went. As you can see, Jacob loved the tree, the dog and his brother and sister! Everything was an adventure to him....

They had many adventures together and all too often...got in trouble together! However, one usually worked on keeping the other out of trouble (unfortunately on a rotating basis)...:)

Jacob in the sunshine being cool...even when he was a baby he always "posed" for pictures...but I always saw the "smirk" in his pictures, always a wisecrack waiting to be made known and making me (and many others) laugh...

This was him at Shaoyang University, he loved teaching there and everyday I would get numerous random videos and updates on what he was doing and seeing. Everything was an adventure and he loved everything about China. When he left this last time he told me he was going to find himself a Chinese woman and get married and have "Chinese babies"....I said I would visit my grandchildren often...

What many people didn't know is the amount of farm work he did almost every summer. If it wasn't for his sweat and hard work our farm would be nowhere near completion. I told him that when I died I was going to leave him the farm as it was just as much his as ours with all of his labors. He laughed and said "no thanks...it is too much work!" He wanted to take this picture that day and made me take a few of them so everyone could see the posts he was pounding...he pounded over 300 posts that day alone. He loved being out in the fresh air, in the fields, with the animals with his headphones on listening to some audio book or "lecture" on something ancient and historical that I can't even pronounce!!

Jacob teaching English for International Business for the business department (?) at Shaoyang University. Classes were often 60 or larger.

Jake wrote this about this picture:

"They have floor to ceiling dry-erase boards at work. So this is what I do when everything else is done.... Or before everything gets done. I'm awesome."

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Jacob shot many videos with running commentary and placed them all on YouTube for storage. Some of them are short, some are long, all of them are "Jacob" and are a gift as he shoots video of things that amaze him, interest him, intrigue him, tick him off, or simply show his energy for life. 

Some of my favorite clips are the ones of him on Mountain Song in China (he has a number of those) where he is climbing the mountain with his friends. If you stay with the videos he turns the camera back on himself throughout them and you see his peace and joy and amazement with God's creation. These "easter eggs" of himself throughout these videos are comforting as we are able to see Jake enjoying his life in China.

I am placing the YouTube Channel here and you can dig through these videos he made and visit him for a long time as there are well over 150+ of them. They have been very comforting to me as I laugh with him over his running dialogue and I know he found peace...

You will have to copy and paste this into your browser as I am unable to link it up here: (you may be able to click on it and it will take you there)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf8wWVbeefC0BsXg1XFs-Jg/videos