I am so lost without you Honey Buns, daily life is just so unbearable. I just don't care about anything anymore, I hate life, hate everyone, have a chip on my shoulder, am sick all the time, and a real bad attitude. I have become a person that I never thought I would be. I go out of my way to avoid humane contact, I lay in bed all day, until it is time to go to work again. I don't want to think or feel, and with the holidays upon us, makes things twice as bad. I am so angry James, I am so mad and upset. Why James? Why did you leave me like this, why did you give up on life, on us, our future? I want to forgive you, but I just can't. I love you beyond life itself, and always will. I can't move on, nor do I think I ever will, I just can't get past any of this. This hurt, the pain, the scars, just will never go away. I hope your at peace, because God knows I never will be... I love you for eternity.. xo