Dear Mom,

        Happy (belated) Birthday!  It's February 25th, the day after your birthday...
        You were born February 24, 1936... you would have been 85.  I would have    
        sent you flowers like I always do.
        I would have procrastinated on getting in contact with FTD, then would have
        called to wish you happy birthday, and apologized for the late flowers.
        In lieu of that tradition, I'm writing this email a day late. And instead of flowers, I set
        up the shrine pictured in this photo.
        It has pictures of you, Al, your grandchildren, and me.  Also chocolate, your photos
        and drawings, the salt light I got you at Southmayd, your glasses, shells, driftwood,
        a passage on acceptance, and a lucky Chinese cat.
        Whenever I come across something I think you'd like, I'll add it to the shrine...

                                             Happy Birthday, Mom!
                                             I love you and miss you.
                                             Ed
                                         

       When Mom first moved to New Castle, PA in 2006 she rented a house.  A year later she bought a small house (with a big yard) across the street, her first time as a homeowner.  She loved to garden, and spent time planting flowers in the yard.
        She adopted a dog Sweetie from the pound, then another dog Ditty to keep Sweetie company.  Mom loved animals, and usually kept one or more cats.  No dogs because she always rented.  She loved taking Sweetie and Ditty for walks, and all the loyal doggie love and affection.
         Sweetie was well named because she was calm, gentle, and sweet.  Ditty was also well named...  She was a little hyper and scattered.  Here's a poem Mom wrote about Ditty...

                                                     Ditty Dog
                                            16 year old Ditty Dog
                                     Prances in the snow, tail wagging,
                                             Stretches when petted,  
                                                Sleeps frequently,
                                         Wakes up at night for water
                                                     And to pee.
                                        Hears well ; sees little, having
                                                      Cataracts.
                                                 Prefers table food,
                                                 But seldom gets it.
                                               Tolerates my two cats, 
                                           Sleeps on my bedroom floor,
                                             Covered by a warm throw,
                                         Awakes during the night panting,
                                                       Loves me,
                                                     And I love her.
                                                                                 Jeanne Blackman
                                                                                 January 2011

      The last dog Mom adopted was named Betsy.  She looked like a pug and was small and fat.  She was totally devoted to Mom, and followed her from room to room.
       When Mom sat or lay on her bed, Betsy would try to jump up.  She'd usually bounce off the side of the bed and land back on the floor.  Not easily discouraged, she'd repeat the same
cycle... until Mom put a wooden step for her next to the bed.
        Debbie (Mom's caregiver during her last years in New Castle) found both Betsy and Mom's cats foster homes when Mom moved to Southmayd.  

        

I moved from Philadelphia to Pacific Beach, San Diego in 1991.  The first place I rented was a small cottage, about 3 blocks from the beach.  Mom, Dad, Al, and I lived in San Diego in the mid 60's, when Dad went to Scripps in La Jolla.
       I've loved the beach since I learned how to swim.  Living with my dad, we went to Bethany Beach, DE where I first learned to body surf.  I had a fantasy about becoming a surfer in CA...  I settled for boogie boarding.
        Mom visited from Los Angeles when I moved to San Diego.  We were walking around the neighborhood when Mom recognized the house we had lived in 30 years previously.  She got very excited (and kind of loud... child like excitement).  She walked around the house until the owner came out to ask if she could help us.
         Later I thought was it more than a coincidence that I ended up living so close to where we did in 1965.  The older I get, the more I think there's something inexplicable going on.  Or maybe it's the primal urge to return to the ocean.
         Which Mom had too... we'd usually go to the beach when we visited.  When Mom visited us before entering assisted living, we went to Rockport, which is an hour north of Boston.  Rockport is really good for shopping and window shopping, both of which Mom enjoyed.

I lived in San Francisco for 12 years.  I'm sure Mom visited more than once,,, a visit in 2002 stands out.  Mom stayed with me, my girlfriend Andrea, and her daughter Talia in our apartment on Balmy Alley, in the Mission.  Balmy Alley is famous for the murals that cover
both sides.  
       Mom's reaction to the Mission and San Francisco in general was "fun!", a high compliment for most anything she liked.  Mom could be child like in a good way, enthusiastic and irrepressible.  Growing up in Ohio, she was open and friendly.  She really enjoyed San Francisco, where people greet friends and strangers alike.
       We were hanging out in the Balmy St apartment when Mom had an "idea" and went upstairs.  She reappeared at the top of the stairs covered in scarves.  Then she danced downstairs shedding scarves one at a time... The Dance Of The Seven Veils.
        That weekend was The Gay Pride Parade.  The Parade went down the street, and Mom joined right in with the dancing and revelry.  She returned with strands of Mardi Gras beads, which I hung from my car's rear view mirror.