Mom affected so many people and the Denver Post published this piece about her on Sunday, January 16, 2011

Click here to read it on the Denver Post web site.

Judy Ferrill, who spent years taking care of the elderly, died in a scuba-diving accident in Belize on Jan. 3. She was 64.

I first met Judy at the end of her freshman year of college. We courted for three years, and were married two weeks after her college graduation.

We went to Casper, Wyoming and she bore our first two daughters, Bonnie and Barbara.  After four years, we came back to Golden and she bore two more daughters, Jen and Christine.  In the parish hall you’ll see photos of Judy, many with her daughters.  That’s not an accident – she loved being with her daughters and they were the most important thing in the world to her.  She postponed her career as a nurse to be home with them when they were little, because she thought that was the most important thing she could do for them.

When the girls were grown and married, we had the opportunity to travel, and she loved seeing new places and new shops to explore.  A year ago, we did an introductory scuba dive and we both thought it was really cool, and we decided to get our scuba licenses so we could do more.

On this New Years Day we flew down to Belize, and the next day arranged for the final four scuba training dives.  We did the first dive Monday morning and had a blast.  There was one instructor for the two of us. On the poster boards in the parish hall there is a photo of us he took underwater on the first dive, and one I took of her resting on an island after the first dive.

On the second dive we went down about 40 feet to the bottom and began doing a series of drills of scuba skills – flooding and clearing out masks and removing and replacing our regulators, that’s the mouthpiece we breathe through in scuba.  Then our instructor signaled we should do a drill of buddy breathing where, if one of us runs out of air, we use the other’s secondary regulator.  Judy gave me the out-of-air hand signal and I gave her my secondary regulator.  She fumbled just a little getting it into her mouth, and the instructor reached in and pressed the outside button on the regulator that is used to blow out any water that’s left in the mouthpiece.  I could see in her eyes that something was wrong.

She wasn’t prepared for the blast of water that came out of the regulator, and it went down her windpipe instead of out into the ocean.  She pushed away my regulator and put in her own, and I could see she was coughing from the rapid bursts of bubbles that came out.  She immediately signaled she wanted to go to the surface, and the instructor took her up without stopping.  I was right behind them, and when I got to her she said in a very weak voice, “I can’t breathe“.  She didn’t suffer long, but passed-out after only a few moments.

We got her back into the dive boat within a couple of minutes and started oxygen, CPR, and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. But we couldn’t revive her.

I didn’t know she was dying.  If I’d known, I’d have told her how much I loved her, and thanked her for all the joy, the help, the comforting, and the companionship she gave me over the 42 years we’ve been married.

But I was intent on saving her, and I didn’t say all those things then.  So, I must say them now.  Judy, I loved you with all my heart.  You gave me my four daughters.  You were my lover.  You were my friend.  You were my partner.

Thank you all for the prayers, the sympathy and the consolation you have given me and my daughters in this time of our grieving.  And thank you for coming here today to honor Judy, to celebrate her life, to thank her for all the people she helped during her time on this earth, and to say goodbye.

I am Barb Ferrill Van Hoy, the second of Judy’s four daughters. This is how I remember my mom.

She was an amazing person, and an incredible mom.

We have so much to thank Mom for there isn’t enough time in the day, or the week or the year, to do more than scratch the surface. Mom was the one who helped everyone through their own difficult times. She always said it is OK to cry. So, OK, Mom. In my grief at not having her physical arms around me, I can hear her say, “God never gives you anything you can’t handle.” She gave us so much, not just wonderful memories, but she gave me who I am, along with Dad. These last few days we’ve heard so much about how she touched the lives of so many people.

Everyone who knew Mom knows that in her, God gave us one of the most caring, loving, understanding, and nurturing people who have ever walked this earth. Throughout her life, she opened her heart to what God wanted of her, and she pursued it with loving dedication.

When I think of the way Mom served others, I think of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. She loved unconditionally. She taught us forgiveness.

She lived her faith, she lived the gospels. Yes, she never missed mass—ever—but the way she lived her faith was by modeling the unconditional love of Christ, every day, with every person she encountered, the best she could. That second reading we heard today, about love—you could just change the word “Love” to “Judy” and it would be true. Or the beatitudes. That was her daily road map. She did her best to live her life by that.
She was never self-righteous. Well, almost never. One of her sayings, written in her handwriting on her bulletin board above her desk at home, is “Act as if you are the person you want to be.” Just above it she wrote, “Blow some smoke.”

She was a perfectionist and could be critical—but she knew it was her demon. She fought against it, and never stopped helping her daughters fight it off, too. It made her more determined to cultivate patience and understanding.

Mom never took off her St. Christopher’s medal.

She took such delight in life, and she loved a good party. Mom laughed a lot. She laughed loud, unselfconsciously and without reservation. Especially after a glass of wine. She loved playing softball and was a pistol of a first baseman for team for something like twenty years. And although she hated to lose, if it got too competitive instead of about having fun, she reeled in the hotheads. She was a really good skier—fast and, in my mind, she did ski ballet. She loved to boogie board, learned to Rollerblade with her daughters, practiced Abs of Steel videos, and did yoga. She tried Zumba with us at the beach last August. She traveled all over the world with Dad. She lived life to the fullest, up to her last breath.

And she could laugh at herself. She loved music and she loved to sing, unfortunately for anyone within earshot. She used to say she couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

CARING FOR OTHERS

Mom had the most incredible, uncanny gift for caring for others. Being a nurse and a counselor came so naturally to her. She was so empathetic, and able to get you to face whatever you needed to deal with head-on, getting right to the heart of it, without being too challenging or threatening. She was our own personal on-call nurse, therapist, and pharmacy—which I know she was for a lot of people. And she loved being that.

She had so much love to share with the world—she overflowed with love and would pour it on anyone she could get her hands on. She couldn’t find enough people to give it to!
As a nurse she cared for people in hospitals, in nursing homes, and for many years she served the homebound as a home health care nurse with the Dominican Sisters. She considered quitting nursing at one point (when she got her Masters in Counseling at age fifty), but she just couldn’t—it was too much a part of who she was. She volunteered with the Golden Family of Churches Health Ministries to teach skills and take blood pressures. As a counselor and nurse she served abused and neglected youth at Family Tree Gemini. And she taught parenting classes.

CARING FOR US

Mom’s highest calling and most important life’s work was raising her daughters. It is only now that I am a mother myself that I have begun to understand how dedicated a parent she was.

She gave us every opportunity she could to learn and explore our gifts, to excel and build confidence for our paths in life. She took us to ballet, swim team, dive team, softball, gymnastics, singing, baton twirling, piano lessons, competitive volleyball, and even modeling. She became our Girl Scout troop leader, no doubt so she could help other girls as well.

She never missed an opportunity to tell us how much she loved us. And she also respected us. She trusted us, her daughters, to find our paths for ourselves—she respected our judgment about our own lives—because she and Dad taught us to think for ourselves.

Mom was forever clipping and sending us articles. We used to joke about it, but we could always feel that special Judy Ferrill love when they arrived. She was intellectually curious, and she read a lot. She read the newspaper every day and watched the news with Dad. Her personal library of health and counseling resources is mind-boggling, as is the stack of magazines and journals next to her favorite chair in the living room.

Mom loved to take me and my sisters shopping, because she loved to give and make us happy, and to be with us. It was a long-standing annual holiday tradition. Our hearts and our wardrobes will miss that.

Mom taught us how to pick a good life partner. Mom and Dad both taught us what a good marriage looks like—how to be supportive but not smothering, how to be a loving partner without sacrificing our own passions. And she gave us an incredible dad. I am grateful beyond words to have been raised by her and Dad.

One of her favorite images was the guardian angel watching over the little children that is on her prayer card. Mom was a guardian angel, for her family and for so many people in her life. I have no doubt that, in heaven, she is not only watching over us, but counseling the guardian angels and coaching them to be the best they can be.

I love you, Mom.


 

While in Belize on one of her many international adventures, longtime resident of Golden, Colorado, Judy Ferrill departed this life on January 3, 2011, at the age of 64. She was born on March 16, 1946, to Bernard and Lucille Harrison in Evanston, Illinois, and graduated from St. Andrews High School in Pasadena, California. Two weeks after earning her nursing degree from Loretto Heights College in 1968, she married her college sweetheart, Reed Willis Ferrill, Jr. As a nurse she cared for patients in hospitals and nursing homes, the homebound, and fellow parishioners as a church volunteer. After raising four daughters, she embarked on a new career, earning a Masters in Family Counseling at CU Denver. She counseled abused and neglected youth and taught healthy parenting classes at Family Tree Gemini.

Judy had an extraordinary talent and passion for nurturing and caring for others that she demonstrated as nurse, therapist, teacher, wife, mother, grandmother, and friend. A lifelong devout Catholic and active member of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Golden, she brought the caring love of Christ to all who were blessed to know her. She was active and adventurous, and offered the most welcoming, warm embrace to all who entered her life. We love her with all our hearts and will miss her beyond words.

She is survived by loving husband Reed Willis Ferrill, Jr.; daughters Bonnie Ferrill Roman (Andre), Barbara Ferrill Van Hoy (Jeremy), Jennifer Martin (Christopher, Jr.), and Christine Masters (Kerry); grandchildren Melissa, Katelyn, and Nathan Martin, Olivia Van Hoy, and Taylor Roman; sister M’lu St. George (Mike), and brothers Bernard Harrison, Paul Harrison (Sharyl), Richard Harrison (Karen), and Thomas Harrison (Norma); seven brothers- and sisters-in-law; and seventeen nieces and nephews.

It's only in reflecting back that I realize how adventurous Mom was. As kids we knew her to be the tough "stretch" at first base on her recreational league softball team, which she only gave up after 20 or so years when her knees betrayed her. Some of our favorite pictures of her show her skiing, Rollerblading, and boogie boarding. She did Abs of Steel and yoga at home with Dad, too, and tried Zumba with her daughters this summer.

She was a willing accomplice when Dad caught the travel bug a couple of years ago and together they traveled the world. It was on their latest adventure - scuba diving in Belize - that tragedy struck. She lived life to the fullest with Dad. 

Mom had a passion for her family. With her support and encouragement, her daughters all flourished no matter where they landed—whether it was the snowy Twin Cities, hilly San Francisco, the ends of the Earth in Antarctica, or halfway around the world in Madagascar—but she was never happier than when we all came back home and she had us under her roof for a visit. Or better yet, moved closer to her home. She unreservedly welcomed new family members in the form of husbands and grandchildren when they came into her life.

Mom chose work that allowed her to care for others, first through years of nursing and nurturing her children at home, then by working with the Dominican Sisters as a home health care nurse. After returning to school at age 50, she earned her Masters in Family Counseling. She quickly got back to work, counseling troubled teens and families at Gemini (part of The Family Tree), helping individuals through her own counseling practice (Effective Therapies), and continuing her work as a nurse with the Dominican Sisters. She was a devout Catholic all her life and an active member of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, volunteering to perform complimentary blood pressure screenings and administer flu shots there routinely.

Judy started her most important life's work with Dad - being a mom - when Bonnie was born in Casper, WY, in 1969, followed closely by Barb in 1970. In 1972 they experienced what Dad called the best view of Casper, WY: "in the rearview mirror!" They moved to Golden, CO, and Jen was born, then Christine in 1977.

Mom was a "soccer mom" before there was such a thing, making sure her girls had every opportunity to learn and excel in countless activities: swim team, dive team, softball, gynmastics, singing, baton twirling, ballet, competetive volleyball, even modeling. She was a Girl Scout leader and coordinator with the Mile High Girl Scout Council, shepherding many young girls along with hers on the path of success and confidence starting at an early age.